After a little break Quick Hits is back. This edition looks at the holidays, G20, and odd robberies…

Dunkin Donuts Says Only 91 More Shopping Days

I think this is some kind of record for holiday marketing overkill. Two days ago, on the first full day of Fall, I stopped at a Dunkin’ Donuts for a coffee that was in a cup just like the one on the left:

A frigging Holiday/ Kwanzaa/ Hanukkah/ Three Kings Day/ Solstice/ Advent/ Little Christmas/ Yule Day/ Festivus/ Tau Ting Tang Day/ Screw You I’m Calling it Christmas coffee cup? On September 23rd? Really?

I’d hate to work in retail…

Me: “So what’s the meeting about tomorrow?”

Boss: “We’re rolling out the holiday merchandise.”

Me: “We need a meeting to get ready for Halloween?”

Boss: “That’s only this week. Next week we roll out the Thanksgiving stuff and the week after that we set up for Christmas.”

Me: “Isn’t that rushing things?”

Boss: “Yup but we are gonna be ready.”

Me: “So when do we bring out the Easter merchandise?”

Boss: “You serious?”

Me: “Sure, what the hell.”

Boss: “November 11th. Just in time for Veteran’s Day.”

Me: “You never cease to amaze me sir.”

Boss: “That’s why I am in charge.”

Me: “Indeed we are blessed.”

Boss: “Really, you mean that?”

Me: “Sure, what the hell.”

(Picture courtesy of Buffalo Chow.)

If You Liked The United Nations You Are Gonna Love Our New and Improved G20

Tired of the G7 being a drunkfest?

G8 summits not providing enough room for anti-globalization protests?

Now there’s the new and improved G20, Obama-made in Pittsburgh:

In a historic shift recognizing the rising influence of China, Brazil and India, the leaders of the world’s top 20 wealthy and developing nations decided that the G-20 will take over the role of preeminent council on global economic cooperation, a function that for more than three decades had been performed by a smaller club of leading industrial countries known as the G-8.

The G-8 will continue to meet on matters of common importance such as national security. President Barack Obama initiated the move, which was to be announced Friday.

Apparently eight politicians were not enough to screw up a global economy so Obama wanted world finance matters in the hands of twelve more hacks.

G20, now with 150% more incompetence! Act now…operators are standing by!

On a side note is it a good idea to put the words “take over” only two sentences before the name “Barack Obama“? I thought there was some kind of liberal media rule against stuff like that. Bush must have hacked into AP’s computers and edited the article.

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Using a Chopper for a Robbery?

Maybe not the best idea in the world:

Swedish police said they were holding one suspect after armed robbers used a helicopter to stage a spectacular raid on a cash storage unit on the outskirts of the capital on Wednesday.

The gang landed a helicopter on the roof of a cash storage facility belonging to Anglo-Danish firm G4S in Vastberga, just south of Stockholm, and made their way into the building through a window, police said.

While the ability to add another axis to the getaway potential in three-dimensional space seems great on paper it is not easy to hide a helicopter.

It might have worked, however if they had this:

Nobody is catching robbers when they fly the Blue Thunder. It’s got stealth for crying out loud.

Nothing beats the best quote from the story though, an understatement for sure:

“It was well-organized, it was well-planned,” police spokesman Christian Agdur said at a press conference.

You think? They used a helicopter!

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron. You can also read his odd take on things at his own humor blog Angry Seafood and his serious take on politics at Clearly Political.

Category: Political Humor Tags: noads