Some Assembly Required. (Updated and Bumped)

Imagine a world without people…

I don’t care if it’s an old fashioned lynching like we used to do to black people… Why did we stop doing that? … Or a firing squad, or steamrollers running over people – People, in general, just need to be killed.

Children – There’s just no excuse for them. What? It’s okay to murder children before they’re born. Why isn’t it okay to murder them after they’re born? I’m just trying to be consistent.

Women – If any look at you cross-eyed, bury them up to their necks and stone them to death. It’s the honorable thing to do.

9/11 victims – I realize the 9/11 victims are already dead, but I don’t remember them being paraded through the streets, joyously like our soldiers were in Mogadishu. Maybe I just didn’t pay close enough attention.

Christians – Steamroller. If it works for Kim Jong Il then it’s good enough for me.

Technology is evil. When’s someone going to invent a kinder, gentler gas shower? After all, Imagine a world without Israel. (h/t MishaI, who I forcefully condemn)

Poor people – Let ‘em starve. Why should people that don’t produce anything get to eat? Again, if it’s good enough for Kim Jong Il…

I’m sure there are many other specific groups that need to be addressed, but this should be enough to get the ball (or steamroller) rolling.

I would also like to publicly condemn FrankJ. I think we need to take it one step further, and I call that he be summarily put to death, after being tried and convicted by a jury of his peers, of course, for engaging in hilariousness, and parody. A federal offense, I believe.

Remember, People don’t kill people, words kill people. You have until the wee hours of Saturday morning to condemn this post. Silence=Assent.

Administrator’s Note: As the Administrator of Radioactive Liberty, I would like to condemn FIAR for posting this hateful, disgusting piece. This is the most vile, despicable thing that FIAR has ever written. Let it be noted that I was the first to condemn this reprehensible, atrocious posting. I think FIAR should be shot. ~FIAR

Author’s Note: I object to, and condemn the Administrator’s call for my death. It is wrong and inexcusable, and if someone Jon-Benet’s his kid (If he had one), I will shed no tears. ~FIAR

Administrator’s Note#2: The veiled threat against the child I don’t have is beyond the pale. People like FIAR need to be murdered and dismembered, al Qaeda style. ~FIAR

Author’s Note#2: The call for my murder and dismemberment is an obvious threat against my life, and I will be contacting the FBI for this. I call on the entire blogosphere to condemn FIAR for this. The clock is ticking. I demand a retraction and apology. ~FIAR

White Flag: I made some nasty comments earlier, some of which may have crossed the line, but FIAR started it. Call off the troops FIAR. I apologized. Get over it. ~FIAR

Closing Down: I’m going to take some time off after this whole fiasco. By which I mean I will return to the usual baiting in a few hours. ~FIAR

Another Update: Get ‘em while theyr’e hot! The new T-shirt: Rope. Tree. FIAR. Some Assembly required. ~FIAR

Demand for Retraction: FIAR, I demand you remove this threatening, unfunny, third rate parody, and I demand Condemnation from the douchespheric community. You douche. ~FIAR

NO! You’re the douche, you douche. ~FIAR

A brief moment of sanity before we return you to your regularly scheduled program: I have lost track of which of my 29 dimensions of compatibility dementias of combatability is supposed to be talking right now. ~FIAR

Author’s note #3: You’re a hypocrite for selling that “Rope. Tree. FIAR shirt.” ~FIAR

Administrator’s note #3: I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s no “Rope. Tree. FIAR” shirt. That’s a dead link. It says “Pie. Face. FIAR.” You’re a poopyhead. ~FIAR

Idiots: Stop linking to FIAR. I never heard of the guy until today. If you ignore it, it will go away. Just ask Richard Cohen. ~FIAR

**
The Dumbf**kery continues, but I’m finished.

I’ve been condemned by Emperor Darth Misha I. It’s about time someone other than FmRagtops realized the urgent need to condemn this post.

Trackbacked on FmRagtops Spews, Point Five, Samantha Burns, Basil’s Blog, Mudville Gazette, STACLU

Category: Caustic Sarcasm