I think I differ from my fellow fascist, hate monger, fear monger, war monger, racist, bigoted, homophobic, right-wing death beasts in that I don’t perpetuate the lie that we see children as a wondrous, precious, miraculous gift. I openly admit my visceral disgust for children because I refuse to live a lie.
Just the other day, I was in the mall, and a toddler was eating an ice cream cone. I grabbed it from her tiny hands and threw it to the ground. She started crying and I said, “That’s what you get for having your entitlement mentality! It’s always ‘Me, me, me! Mine, mine,mine!’ Life ain’t fair and it’s about time you grew up and faced the cold, cruel reality that only the strong survive.” Then the mall Gestapo showed up and I hightailed it out of there. I yelled, “You can’t stifle my freedom of speech, you PC Nazis!”
In the words of Henry Winkler, “Give me Liberty or give me a jukebox that plays when you tap on the side the right way.”
Nightcrawler demonstrates why I hate children so much.
When they are forced to resort to the ballot-box to pass their agenda, [Democrats] hide behind lies and play on the emotions of the people by making their Socialist agenda “for the children”.
So, you see, if it weren’t for children, Democrats wouldn’t be able to advance their Socialist agenda. Hey, wait a second, there are some rotten kids across the street. I’ll be right back.
**
Haha! I pushed the one kid down and gave him an atomic wedgie. Then I looked at the other troll and said, “You see! That’s for helping the Democrats advance their Socialist agenda, with their ‘What about the Children™‘ emotional appeals.”
Now they were both crying like the spineless, gutless America hating, Socialist Swine they are. “Just like a dirty Hippie,” I said. “Always playing the victim. Well, go cry to Mommy. You Commies are all the same! You always want someone else to take care of your problems.”
They were running off and I yelled down the street, “Get out of my country, you Commies!” I don’t think they’ll be back. Who let them in my country anyway?
Uh oh. There’s a woman at the door, and she’s got her Stormtrooper with her. “Go away, Socialist! I don’t need your Nanny state.” I really hate children.
I may have to get going, but I know that Humor-Blogs.com would never stifle my freedom of expression that way.
2004–2008
12 responses so far ↓
1
Skul
// Mar 27, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Jeez, FIAR, they’re not ALL bad. Some of them are quite tasty.
2
RT - Chief Mongress
// Mar 27, 2007 at 7:57 pm
I hear they clog arteries.
3
Nightcrawler
// Mar 27, 2007 at 11:55 pm
That was great! Don’t let the “man” get you down!
4
Roland
// Mar 28, 2007 at 11:53 am
So what age group of children are we talking about? I am all for hating on kids, but I am not quite 16 yet.
5
Skul
// Mar 29, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Not to worry Roland. Kids start getting a bit stringy after twelve. They start tasting “gamey” too.
6 Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Jul 9, 2007 at 11:23 pm
[...] The Fallout Shelter → Rotten Children. Out of the Radioactive Liberty [...]
7
Rosemary
// Jul 12, 2007 at 12:09 am
If this is true, I’ll hunt you down, tie you up, and NOT give you that great spanking that you crave soooooo much!
Uh oh! ~FIAR
8
Rosemary
// Jul 14, 2007 at 7:54 am
You are my 300th visitor! Thank you.
9 Radioactive Liberty - Useless. Worthless. Pointless. » New Recliner Rules // Jul 16, 2007 at 9:22 pm
[...] great. The new recliner is mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine All Mine! No Rotten Children, Are we straight? This entry is filed under Pointless Nonsense. You can follow any responses to [...]
10
Uber
// Jul 18, 2007 at 8:53 pm
But…what about red-state baby makin’?
11
Rosemary
// Jul 18, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Didn’t you hear? There’s been more of that than there has been in the blue states! As a matter of fact, Practicing Christians, Muslims and Jewish friends, are more likely to have children than are liberals. They choose to murder their own kind. Pretty soon, the majority of people in the USA will be against abortion! YIPPEE!
12 Do Not Underestimate the Malevolent Power of Little Girls // Aug 9, 2007 at 8:03 am
[...] Nothing is more emasculating to a man than the presence of a little girl. It’s probably one of the primary reasons for my seething hatred of children. [...]
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