Political Humor | Democrats to Win by Landslide

Chicago (AP) “It’s all over but the celebrating. This is a clear mandate. He’s had his time in office and now it’s time to send him back to the ranch,” stated political pundit Bill Maher yesterday, on the Daily Show. This was in reference to the astounding polling numbers showing the Democrat Party in the lead by a very wide margin.

Across the nation, Democrats are all but certain of a landslide victory against George Bush. Just released Zogby, CNN, NBC, and New York Times polls all show an overwhelming majority of likely Democrat voters will vote for a Democrat in the up-coming elections. Some polls are indicating as much as an 8 to 1 margin for national, state and local candidates, who are running against the President.

The estimated 20% -to as high as 50% in a few precincts- of recently registered Democrat voters who are undecided as to how they will vote or in many case how to vote, are to be aided by the nonpartisan, voter assistance organization Acorn.

“They will be right there in the booth beside those voters to insure they are not discriminated against or disenfranchised by the intimidation tactics of the Bush/Cheney tag team. They will be their hands and eyes, if necessary,” said Acorn backer and 60’s peace activist, Bill Ayers.

“Many of these people are the senility struck elderly or don’t speak a word of English… or are mentally challenged homeless. Why some of them are even tragically and terminally dead,” Ayres said. They deserve their chance to be counted. Concerned citizens like me will be providing armed escort services to and from their residences, alleys or resting places on election day. George Bush and his Gestapo-like Republican voting machine will not see another term in office.”

“Why some of them are even tragically and terminally dead”

The strategy of going negative early and pitting as many DNC backed challengers against Bush as possible, was the brainchild of long-time political strategist James Carvel. Carvel -who orchestrated victory for Bill Clinton against the then Texas governor- had this to say, “Just because he [Bush] wasn’t running for President at that time only proves the effectiveness of this plan. It worked for us then and it’s working for us now.  That guy, what’s his name, who’s from Arizona… Ah, yeah… McCain, can say what he wants. Defeating Bush is the winning ticket.”

Carvel went on to say, “I don’t expect to see a single Democrat lose to Bush from the national level, involving Obama and Biden, all the way down to city counsel seats. This man won’t even be elected as the mayor of Wasilla.”

When it was pointed out that the election for Sarah Palin’s formerly held position as mayor of the insignificant Alaskan township isn’t until next year, James Carvel replied, “See how well the strategy is working?”

You can dig up more October surprises at my Humor and satire blog Sideshow Mirrors where Les keeps a spare shovel.