?egnahC: A Vision of the Apocalypse
And then on the fourth day, teh Messiah had risen to power set to reign for four years, and he brought with him the minions and ghouls of the Underworld known as Congress. And Lo the most merciful Lord Obama sent out the Whore of the Bay whose face was stretched in hideous, and terrifying fashion. With her she carried four seals.
And when the Ghoulosi opened the first seal the Earth beheld a white horse. His rider is always right, and he was given a satirical bow and crown. He was given the power of conquering, and to conquer small, oil rich countries, and the blogosphere. He rode forth and trampled many hippies, and moonbats beneath the white horse’s jackboots.
And ye then did she open the second seal, and the earth beheld a red horse. Power was given unto it’s rider to distort the images of the web, to make them attack those that may be in them. A great sword of humor and satire was given unto him that those who did not find his work funny would laugh anyway.
When the Whore opened the third seal, there emerged a black horse. The rider carried with him a pair of balances. Ghoulosi said unto him a measure of satire for a penny, and three measures of humor for a penny. The rider replied,”You mean I get paid for this? Sweet!” to which the whore replied, “We get it all back in taxes, but take with you this Angry Seafood to unleash upon the earth.”
The fourth seal was then opened, and behold a pale horse. His rider’s name was JumpOut and humor and satire followed with him. And power was given unto them to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. Hilarity ensued.
I’m here bitches, tremble.
Image Credit: March of the Undead by Lainmoon
2004–2009
22 responses so far ↓
1
richj
// Nov 5, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Can I have a pony too?
2
Chris C
// Nov 5, 2008 at 1:09 pm
and we were all worried about Hillary…
3
Les James
// Nov 5, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Were those baby harp seals?
Hey Jumpout, welcome to the madness. This is going to be a lot of fun with you here.
4
Les James
// Nov 5, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Hey, I just noticed the link to my blog! What the…
5
JumpOut
// Nov 5, 2008 at 2:12 pm
You don’t think all the bloggy power I now wield went to my head, do you?
Rich: Sure you can ride the pink pony and be given the power to make balloon animals and delete many blogs.
ChrisC: Who is this Hillary of which you speak?
Les: Only the best seals for the Whore.
Thanks gents, I’m glad to be on board.
6 The Barackolypse? « You Should Be Tasered // Nov 5, 2008 at 2:18 pm
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7
Chris C
// Nov 5, 2008 at 4:31 pm
“Hey Jumpout, welcome to the madness.”
Damn I didn’t notice. Awesome! Sorry my brain’s a bit fried after all the live blogging yesterday.
Good to have you aboard JumpOut and I second Les’ sentiments.
8
Fiar
// Nov 5, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I’m here bitches
And not a moment too soon. Hippies by the busload will need to be stomped. We could use all the oppression technician manpower we can find.
9
JumpOut
// Nov 5, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Well, I’ll be around to keep my jackbooted foot on the neck if any hippies so unfortunate as to cross my path.
10
RT
// Nov 5, 2008 at 7:15 pm
YAY!!!!! I was wondering when you’d be given the keys to the castle.
I liked the time I raced a horse around barrels at a crazy speed. Is there something similar I could do that involved hippies? I don’t want to ride them, but I’d like to trample them a bit. In circles.
11
richj
// Nov 5, 2008 at 7:51 pm
I already have those powers.
12
JumpOut
// Nov 5, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Yeah, but do you have the pink pony? An impressive steed, no?
13
Insolublog
// Nov 5, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Can John Kerry be the blue horse?
14
JumpOut
// Nov 5, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I suppose, but who ride him?
15
Chris C
// Nov 5, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Barney Frank maybe?
16
JumpOut
// Nov 5, 2008 at 9:33 pm
And the Ghoulosi bestowed upon the rider of the blue horse the power to fix the tickets of his brothel customers, and to get away with writing hot checks with taxpayer money.
17
Super Liberal
// Nov 6, 2008 at 12:48 am
I stand strong against the non-believers…Obama will stop the right wing Apocalypse!
18
RT
// Nov 6, 2008 at 6:14 pm
HEY! Who let the liberal (trying to be funny?) have the last word?
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