Political Humor | Sarah Palin Still is Hot

Tim: Welcome to our 2008 Election VP debate pre-bout show. I’m your host Tim Masterson. Today sitting in the hot seat is the former governor of Minnesota and wrestling icon Jessie The Body Ventura. And speaking of hot seats, I said it last week and I’ll say it again, Gov. Sarah Palin has one hot seat.

At first it was strictly a physical attraction, but with time I’ve grown to appreciate her mind as well as her body. OK, I still drool on my microphone when I see pictures of her. That one with her wearing that red, white and blue, Wonder Woman outfit, holding a whip…Wow!

What do you say Jessie?

Jessie: Sarah Palin is hot. If I could be reincarnated as a fabric, I would come back as a 38 double-D bra and you know who’d be wearing it.

Tim: Now that’s funny!

Jessie: Congratulations Jim, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn’t: Go stick your head in the mud.

Tim: That’s why I love ya man. But let’s get down to the battle de jour.

Looks to me like its going to be a mêlée of epic scale between The Hottie, Sarah The Barracuda Palin and The Mouth that Roared, Scrappy Joe Biden.

Jessie: Yeah Tim, McCain’s training Palin for the heavyweight fight of her career. He’s got plenty of political in-fighting experience to pass on to her but from what I’ve seen so far, she’s got talent. Selling the jet on Ebay… classic.

Tim: So what do you think of the boys from the Blue States?

Jessie: It’s a switch-up. This is something we don’t see too often. The 40 something year congressional vet, Scrappy Joe, the Dems VP candidate, is the one prepping his I’ve got more time in the jon then he has in office, featherweight challenger to go up against the Reps seasoned pro.

Tim: So what you’re saying is that the VP debate is the one to watch, ‘cause the Pres. contest is going to be an early KO?

Jessie: Not all Tim. To give you an analogy: wrestling is ballet with violence and Obama knows how to dance.

Tim: Too close to call then. Do you have any advise to give either Vice Presidential candidate?

Jessie: Biden needs to remember he didn’t get enough votes in his Presidential bid to be elected Mayor of Wasilla. If he opens his mouth at the wrong time or even looks at her wrong during the debates, Palin wins because it looks like he’s picking on a woman and he’s sexist SOB.

Palin, on the other hand, needs to remember the she’s a good-looking woman. She has to be a class act while she’s kicking Biden in the nuts. Play that wrong and she looks like a bitch.

Tim: Strong words. But what about Obama saying, “You’re absolutely right that John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith.”

Jessie: Obama can’t put two coherent words together, without someone putting it on a teleprompter for him first. As to those being strong words, I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there’s not much I can do about that. But I’m going to be honest. I’m going to continue to speak my mind, and that’s who I am.

Tim: OK.  What ever happened to your political career?

Jessie: I decided to run for governor because I got mad… I wanted to make government more directly accountable to the people. But when my time was up, I went back to my real life. Politics is not my life. I have a career in radio and another career in film.

Tim: How’s the film career going?

Jessie: Not so well.

Tim: On a lighter note, McCain sent me a letter.

Jessie: Oh?

Tim: Yep, he was looking for support.

Jessie: You mean cash.

Tim: You got it. So I sent him a dollar and wrote him there’s more where that came from it he gets elected and suddenly doesn’t feel up to the job.

Jessie: Putting Palin in the “hot seat” as you would say?

Tim: Ah ha.

Jessie: Good call.

Tim: Well, that’s all the time we have today. I’d like to say thanks to my guest, the most powerful governor next to Arnold…

Jessie: What the…?

Tim: …Jessie The Body Ventura. Tune in tomorrow when my guest will be TV, and singing legend David Hasselhof. Good night.

Jessie: What do you mean “next to Arnold” …

Les James guest here every Tuesday while maintaining his home at Sideshow Mirrors.