I’ve decided I am supporting Vladimir Putin for President of the United States in 2012. Now, this is my own opinion, and I do not know how the other humorists, and satirists of Radioactive Liberty feel about my decision. This is not a blanket endorsement from this blog, only from me. I’m sure Fiar will be supporting himself as usual. Chris C will probably support a tuna or something, and I guess Les is going for Pennywise (the demonic clown not the crappy band). While those are all solid choices, I think Mr. Putin is far and away the best choice to lead this country going forward.
See, Congress has just spent a hundred gazillion dollars buying up private property, and shares in corporations. All hundred gazillion of those dollars belong to the American people. I feel Putin could have saved us a considerable amount of taxpayer dollars. He probably would have just taken all that stuff by force without paying for it. The end result is the same, except for the executives that might have been executed for speaking out against Putin’s takeover, but it would cost far less money.
The Democrats in Congress are wanting to resurrect the “Fairness Doctrine” which would, in effect, end conservative talk radio. See, liberal talk radio loses money every time. Conservative talk radio makes money. By forcing conservative talk radio to add liberal talk radio, talk radio is no longer profitable. All the stations will be playing light airy favorites of the seventies and eighties. Then, the only media voices you’ll hear will be Keith Olbermann, and Joy Beharr. What fun. President Putin on the other hand would end conservative radio, liberal radio, and would likely execute the hosts of The View for being insufferable cunts. That’s a policy I can get behind.
There’s an old saying that goes “If you’re gonna be a bear, be a grizzly bear.” Maybe in this case it should be “If you’re gonna be a bear be a Soviet bear.” The point is the same. Why do things half-assed? At least Putin will defend our borders, and make sure islamofascists are afraid to mess with us. The bright side is we won’t have to suffer through another one of those lame “Chill wind” speeches from Hollywood types. They’ll either embrace the new administration or die. Preferably the latter.
If you liked this, you’ll love the law enforcement humor and political satire of JumpOut’s own blog: You Should be Tasered.
2004–2010
16 responses so far ↓
1 Posts in Other Places « Humor and Satire at You Should Be Tasered // Nov 26, 2008 at 12:16 pm
[...] in Other Places The new satire post is up at Radioactive Liberty. Go read it now, or you will be sent to a prison camp in [...]
2
Les James
// Nov 26, 2008 at 12:52 pm
That brings back such happy memories of the Cold War, duck and cover drills and a time when China was still called a communist country. [sigh]
I’m thinking we have a kinder, gentler form of subjugation with our up-coming administration. One were we can all hold hands and be taken to that place where ‘they all float down here.’
3
Jr
// Nov 26, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Can Palin be his Vice President?
Please?
She and Putin are practically neighbors, anyway.
4
David
// Nov 28, 2008 at 11:26 am
I’m pretty sure that Palin would not be well received because she’s been watching him from her porch and those KGB types hate being watched.
5
David
// Nov 28, 2008 at 11:27 am
Oh, oh and you are missing the entertainment value of The View – they are fighting bitches much of the time – and I’m sure they all want to kill the hasslebeak bitch. Sherri reveals she is dumb as a rock being held down by a bible, Whoopi and Joy are funny and witty and now Baba Wawa has outed herself as a slut. Where can you get all this for free?
6
Jr
// Nov 29, 2008 at 11:29 am
Where can I get that kind of entertainment value for free?
At my family reunion 2007.
It was a bloodbath.
7
JumpOut
// Nov 29, 2008 at 1:27 pm
If you think Joy and whoopi are funny, you are a failure as a human being.
8
Andrew Slominski
// Dec 4, 2008 at 2:23 am
Haha, that’s awesome. Too bad Obama’s propaganda is better than any of the Soviet propaganda. I’m not sure Putin could keep up.
9
JumpOut
// Dec 4, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Putin wouldn’t have to keep up. Putin has two speeds, walk and kill.
10
Obzerver
// Dec 5, 2008 at 11:58 pm
The next Russian presidential election is also in 2012. So even if one-man-one-vote applies, I’m sure one-president-two-countries wouldn’t.
11 Obama’s Socialist America | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Feb 14, 2009 at 12:55 pm
[...] and Socialization of the US made Hugo Chavez giggle like a little girl, and Russian Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin is warning against the dangers of meddling in the free market. I have stated for years that [...]
12 Exclusive Interview With Dmitry Medvedev Satire | The Planets Best Political Humor at RadioactiveLiberty.com // Oct 30, 2009 at 7:02 am
[...] a Fascist! He’s such a pu$$y, he wouldn’t last 13 days under a real Marxist regime! At least Putin had some balls! I’m sorry, I don’t mean to explode like that I just hate when democracy enables [...]
13
Belle
// Nov 2, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Since the United States no longer has a President and Vladimir Putin has been interviewed for the position and declined, the Russian Security Forces have released three reasons why Prime Minister Vladimir Putin of Russia has turned down the United States Presidency for 2009. Reason number one: “Presiding over the United States would exhibit to drastic a decline of derankment for the time. Reason number two: I can not with good conscious delegate over a fifth world country such as the United States, thereby indicating a derankment once again. Reason number three: “Having been elected Prime Minister of Galaxy 1 Space 1 Frontier, my time can not be spent on a mere nother nation.” These three statements alone were the only ones released by the Russian Security Forces as to why Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has declined the United States Presidency for 2009. Oh well, I guess Beverly Hills will just have to learn how the food stamp card operates at Wal-Mart.
14
Prof. K.
// Dec 3, 2009 at 9:12 am
12/3/09 — It is now “official” — Vladimir Vladimirevich Putin may run for President of the Russian Federation in 2012! That is very interesting news. The man is brilliant, the consummate statesman and diplomat. He has a deep love for his country and the Russian people and accomplished a great deal. He is well-liked and highly respected by a huge majority of Russians. It’ll be interesting to hear American conservatives ranting their silly and nonsensical raves about his return to Russia’s helm. Go fer it, righties!! LOL! Can you imagine Alaska’s Caribou Barbie and a highly educated international statesman matching wits?!
15
Les James
// Dec 3, 2009 at 5:40 pm
What if the “former” head of the KGB could run for President here in 2012? It would be just like Obama with a pair. Wow, what a moonbat wet dream come true that would be.
16
Chris C
// Dec 4, 2009 at 1:10 am
Do you think Putin would run as a Democrat though? He’d have to reconcile his pro-oil stance.
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