I have a problem with people throwing shoes at me. Everywhere I go, people throw shoes at me. Many shoe throwing parodies have been created at my expense, and there is even a shoe throwing website in my “honor.” Also, my employer is oftem polled as to how satisfied they are with my job performance, and I am told that my approval rating is less than the margin of error. I don’t know why. It makes me feel like people don’t like me. What would Obama do?
~ George1600

First, I want you to know that all questions directed to What Would Obama Do are completely anonymous. I would never break the trust and confidence of a person seeking hope and change. Most importantly, get out of the White House as soon as possible. Don’t wait until your term is officially over. Pack up your things and get out. Yesterday isn’t soon enough.
As for avoiding the shoes, I usually use my aura of white light and higher consciousness to protect me. It’s kind of like using the force. Also, I often get my head stuck in a bucket. This would seem embarrassing to most people, but I have found that it offers great protection from shoes being thrown at the head.
I understand that Bill Clinton has a great deal of experience at dodging flying objects. I know it’s not what Obama would do, but I have consulted with Bill on a variety of topics, including all of my Cabinet choices. He has said that he finds sleeping in separate quarters helps, but I’m not sure if that is applicable in your particular case. Outside of that, he says 30 minutes of Tae Chi every morning helps keep him limber and agile. I hope that helps.
If your out of hope, and trying to change, but don’t know how, ask your questions of What Would Obama Do? Of course, you might ask, what experience to I have giving advice to people in an advice column. I did give a rousing speech once, and it got me elected president. So, none really. Ask your questions in the comments section.
Disclaimer: Do not take your advice from a political humor site. If you do, then you are an idiot and we are not liable for your results.

11 responses so far ↓
1
Les James
// Dec 26, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I give this new column three and a half shoes. That’s my highest rating yet. Usually I just give advice columns the boot but this seems to have promise.
2
Mr Moneybags
// Dec 26, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Dear Mr. President,
I’ve done well for myself and now I find that a few of my relatives are not so fortunate. I have a strange feeling that comes over me once in a while. It’s kind of like I feel like I should help them. WWOD?
Sincerely,
Moneybags
3
Les James
// Dec 26, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Damn those avatars! I knew I should have signed in using a different account. OK, I was just trying to get this started. This really is a legitimate advice column… really!
4
Chris C
// Dec 27, 2008 at 1:53 am
Hehe I’ve had that happen to me too.
I think our readers want funny content no matter if the questions for this feature come from us or our audience.
I also think our readers can come up with some great questions for Obama so we do not have to.
Come on faithful fans of RL isn’t there anything you want to ask Obama?
5
Super Liberal
// Dec 27, 2008 at 2:04 am
Dear Obama,
I am a liberal blogger but since Starbucks has banned me for having a pet ferret I had to find other places to find free wifi. There was the local McDonald’s but it closed due to Bush’s financial policies. Now I have nowhere to blog from.
My only options are: quit blogging and end my promotion of the Democratic mantra or sue Starbucks to allow me to blog there with my pet ferret.
What would Obama do?
6
JumpOut
// Dec 27, 2008 at 4:42 pm
I hate you. WWOD about that?
7
RT
// Dec 27, 2008 at 7:16 pm
You don’t pet your ferret in public, do you?
What would Obama do about that?
8
Caroline Kennedy
// Dec 29, 2008 at 12:35 am
Obama, I am a highly unqualified senatorial hopeful from
MassachusettsNew York. However, the world saw my father’s brains get blown out on film, so doesn’t that make me qualified . . . not matter how much of an idiot I am?(Also, I could not fill out this form in crayon. What would Obama do?)
Caroline Kennedy
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