Songs For Torturing Terrorists With
A bunch of musicians including the likes of R.E.M., Pearl Jam, and Rage Against the Machine are mad their music was being used to torture prisoners at Gitmo.
They have a point. Those are good bands that generally play good music. When it comes to torture you want really annoying. The Meow Mix jingle, also used is not enough.
If I were in charge I’d play Nickelback, Daughtry, and every other band with the same sound and make the prisoners have to tell me which band is which or they get no sleep.
But I’m not running the show so all I can do is suggest songs that would really get under the skin of the terrorists until they gave in and spilled their secrets.
First up is this wonderful lyrical extravaganza.
Or how about this one.
This ditty would be good.
This one could be used in conjunction with the video. Tie in the “Clockwork Orange” therapy method for another layer of torture.
The terrorists would be screaming “uncle” after hearing this one non-stop.
If nostalgia and old-school musical torture is your thing this song is perfect.
But nothing tops this one. It is a song that gets in your head, and frankly, doesn’t end
Do you have any songs you’d like to see us use to torture terrorists? Leave your suggestions in the comments section below.
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Chris Cameron is a writer/columnist/beat reporter for Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his odd form of mostly non-political humor at his blog Angry Seafood.
Category: Political Humor Tags: Crappy Music, Daughtry, Gitmo, Humour, Music, Music Video, Nickelback, Pearl Jam, Political Humor, Rage Against the Machine, REM, Video
2004–2012
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Oh god No! Why? Why did I have to play that last one? Damn, you Chris.
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I cast a vote for “It’s a small world.” That’s practically the same thing as that Lambchop one.
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“99 bottles of beer on the wall”
Only start at 9999.
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True story. I went to an Army school some years ago with a woman who had just gotten back from blasting music at Noregia, as he holed-up in the Vatican embassy in Panama. Even if it doesn’t work, it sure is fun.
My pick for the list: The Safety Dance from Men Without Hats
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I’m going to have to show my age and lack of keeping up with the times because I can’t recall many songs of the last two decades that I wouldn’t consider torture, every time I hear it from a neighboring apartment/car/house/7-11. My guess is the torture they are referring to is just troops listening to “western” music on boom boxes in their barracks.
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God knows I love her music (really, I do) but Dolly Parton’s “I will always love you” comes to mind. But they have to show pictures of her cleavage to complete the torture.
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they should use the meow mix song!!! Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!!!!
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The ultimate annoying song which would deffinately make the terrorists surrender would be… FRIDAY by Rebecca Black :’(