We all know that Bacon® is better than tofu. There is no need to debate this issue. It’s clear cut. There really is no comparison.
However, this has somehow managed to be a popular argument on Sqidoo.
I find it appalling that anyone would be on the side of tofu. Considering the fact that tofu turns you into a terrorist hugging, effeminate, wienie, I would like to see someone justify even the mere existence of tofu.
I am not at all optimistic that anyone will rise to the challenge this week. Perhaps there is someone from Humor-Blogs.com who will champion the cause of tofu, but I expect that it is unlikely. The victory in favor of Bacon® is too clear cut. But that is this week’s topic:
Justify the existence of tofu.
Discuss
2004–2008
22 responses so far ↓
1
Skul
// Jun 22, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Justifying tofu would be a violation of the laws of nature.
YOOHOO! Flowers Bloom, where are you?
2
RT
// Jun 22, 2008 at 4:14 pm
You see, there are millions of young, nerdly/geeky guys out there who ain’t getting any. However, if they consume tofu, they get enough soy to get manboobs (moobs) from the estrogen raising qualities of the soy.
Nerdly/geeky guys everywhere will be able to cop a feel; otherwise, they will just have to fill up balloons with water to know what boobs feel like.
3
Chris C.
// Jun 22, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Clearly bacon. How the hell do you make a T-L-T? If I wanted something with the consistency of tuna fish I would just make that.
God I can’t wait for the hippie movement to die out.
4
Les James
// Jun 22, 2008 at 8:58 pm
You can’t make a tofu bikini.
5
Les James
// Jun 22, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Like the new edit feature. Did you change to it for idiots like me?
6
Insolublog
// Jun 22, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Tofu makes a nourishing, low cost, high protein fodder for pigs, which can then be rendered into
Bacon® for the rest of us.
7
Insolublog
// Jun 22, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Did I also mention free-range Tofu fed hippies also make good pig fodder? There is probably a Disney song out there called the ‘Circle of Bacon’, where crap like Tofu has a place in the chain somewhere.
8
richj
// Jun 23, 2008 at 12:20 pm
When you shove your fist into a tub of tofu, it makes a farting sound. It’s got that going for it, so that’s kinda cool.
9
Chris C.
// Jun 23, 2008 at 1:17 pm
You can do the same thing with a fat girl Rich. Are fat girls better then bacon?
10
Fiar
// Jun 23, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Les, re:editing. I think that’s just part of the upgraded version of something that was already there. It’s just more obvious with the little pictures.
Now, as for feeding tofu to pigs. Pigs are one of the most magically delicious of all creatures, and I will not have them turning into effeminate weenies by feeding them tofu.
I am offended by the suggestion.
Unless, of course we feed the effeminate weenies to the pigs to make a protein packed Superbacon™. That might work. I’ll get my best scienticians on it right away.
Les, you can make a tofu bikini, but it would not be tasty and sexy like a bacon bikini.
11
Fiar
// Jun 23, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Rich, Chris has you beat.
12
richj
// Jun 23, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Chris- I am just supplying a potential justification for the existence of tofu. I have no experience fisting fat girls, so I can not say whch one is better.
Since you seem to have some experience in this regard, I will defer to your opinion on the matter.
Fat girl fister.
13
Wyatt Earp
// Jun 23, 2008 at 3:26 pm
You can do the same thing with a fat girl Rich. Are fat girls better then bacon?
Funniest line . . . EVER!
14
diesel
// Jun 23, 2008 at 4:27 pm
By fooling retards into eating tofu, we lower bacon prices for the rest of us.
15
Skul
// Jun 23, 2008 at 4:36 pm
FIAR—–”Rich, Chris has you beat.”
RichJ—-”I have no experience fisting fat girls, so I can not say whch one is better.”
And Rich pulls back into the lead!
16
RT
// Jun 23, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Fat girls are much better than bacon. Not sure about the fisting…ewwwwww!
17 Bacon vs Tofu vs Fat Girls « Ass Pennies // Jun 23, 2008 at 5:35 pm
[...] Bacon vs Tofu vs Fat Girls Posted on June 23, 2008 by Rich You be the judge. [...]
18
Insolublog
// Jun 23, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Pigs are fed a lot worse things. What do they say?
Garbage in, bacon out.
19
Alex L.
// Jun 24, 2008 at 2:37 am
No tofu, no hippies, and then who are you going to hate… honestly somethings just need to be, its the circle of life, beans, tofu, hippies, kill hippies… Tofu just has to be, as do hippies… which seems to me now to be quite a stupid thing to say here.
20
Celebghost
// Jun 25, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Maybe if we feed all the fat girls of the world to the pigs we wouldn’t have to deal with the issue if fat girls were better than bacon cause essentially they would become the bacon…also the bacon would become greasier which I personally like better…
http://funniestbloginamerica.blogspot.com/
21
Fiar
// Jun 26, 2008 at 2:21 pm
You assholes have this ranking #4 on Google for fat girl fist. That makes you worse than Hitler.
22 Flame War Parody | Microwave Bacon | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:52 pm
[...] rejuvenates like Bacon®. That goes without saying. But what about people that make their Bacon® in the [...]
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