Political Humor

Since an extra numeral of the date will change in a few hours, society obligates me to acknowledge this arbitrary time tracking system by posting a roundup of the best political humor of the last 365 solar cycles.

Before I proceed, I want to talk about your favorite subject — Me.

Lately, I’ve been required to do a lot of driving a forklift. If you’ve never driven a forklift, you might not have any idea just how different it is from driving a car. When you are driving a car and you turn the wheel hard to the left and then let go of the wheel, the car straightens out on it’s own. If you wanted to straighten out on a forklift, you would have to turn hard right in order to go straight again.

We’ve turned so far left in this country that we’re going to have to spin five turns to the right just to get going down the center again.

The best posts of 2009 are determined by random drawing. No. That isn’t right. Popularity as determined by Google Analytics will be the judge, so if you don’t like the order, complain to Google. Then beat a hippie. It will make you feel better. They may even have a few at Google.

Sadly, I realized the top 6 posts of 2009, by page view, are from either 2007 or 2008. Actually, most of the top 40 were from previous years. Political Humor is the gift that keeps on giving. As a result, I have unilaterally disqualified anything not published in 2009.

The Most Popular Political Humor Posts of 2009

11. Chris offers some Tips on Avoiding Swine Flu to begin the countdown. What, you thought this would be a top TEN list? We go against the grain here at RadioactiveLiberty.com. That’s what makes us the best.

10. The number ten entry seems to be an advertisement of some sort, but looks can be deceiving. Look a little closer and you will notice Economic Stimulus Funny Pictures by Les James.

9. The 2009 Summer Blockbuster movies came and went. They Call Me Senator Boxer was a favorite of Les James while I was partial to The World According to Gore. I like comedy. Especially the ones with inept fat guys.

One time I read some advice that if you want to have interested readers, you should talk about them. I think this advice sounds stupid and ridiculous, but since the year is almost over, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give it a go. If it does, I’ll just beat a hippie, and that will surely make me feel better.

Did you ever think about how metaphors sometimes are more accurate than we give credit for? Did you ever have an idea in the back of your mind? If you were to go into a cat scan it would show activity in the back region of the brain. Do you get sick and tired of things? Do you notice if you frequently suffer illness? What might happen if you got fed up instead? You might lose some weight.

Enough about you. You’re boring and tedious to write about. Back to the list.

8. If you remember Jumpout (We miss you man. Come back), He televised a steel cage match between Rush Limbaugh and Obama. It was very entertaining.

7. President Obama offers some sage advice about work from home business job opportunities.

6. Les James introduced a line of political humor merchandise in 2009. Obama Coins are out, RL Gear is here. Speaking of merchandise…

For the naysayers, those who would not believe that it was possible to make money writing political humor, You can now have your crow and eat it too. This site has turned into a literal funnel of cash, raking in money hand over fist for a whopping sum of $79.24. That’s nearly enough to pay for the hosting, which will be due in February. Think about that. I wrote – what – 3 posts or something like that this year and made a cool 80 bucks. I am seriously considering giving Les and Chris a 50% raise. Merry Christmas.

5. Teabaggers and teaparties and Glenn Beck, Oh My! The 9-12 March on Washington Pictures.

4. In the fourth position, we find out what Obama would do to save money.

What would Obama do? Sorry Les and Chris, a raise will just put you in a higher tax bracket. I cannot in good conscience allow you to be punished for your achievement, so I’m cutting your pay by 50% to save money. Don’t blame me. It’s what Obama would do.

3. The second runner up is actually named to be a runner up. Penultimately Bad Obama Jokes and Funny Pictures captures the bronze.

2. Aptly, number two, has to do with a giant pile of crap, as advertised by on of this year’s untimely deaths, Billy Mays. Billy Mays, Obama Amazing TV Offer.

Speaking of piles of crap, 2009 heralded the new Obama plan for Hope in Afghanistan. The Obama plan calls for the US to hope in one cargo plane and shit in the other. As soon as the planes are full, they will fly over Afghanistan and drop their load. Personally, I think it’s a good plan, because I know which plane will fill up first. The question is, will the people of Afghanistan notice a difference?

1. The number one political humor post of 2009 is by our licensed doctor of photoshoptography, Les James. Potty humor rules the day with the Smell of Economic recovery. That’s how we roll here at RL.

If nothing else, 2009 had it’s ups. It had it’s downs. It had it’s atrocious cliches. It had a missing owner to a popular website. In summary and as a fitting epitaph, I will leave you with this: As I heard a wise man once say, “the best thing about the past is that it’s over.”

Goodbye 2009. And good riddance.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone and welcome to my second edition of political humor predictions. I will try to type quietly as I realize many of you are probably nursing a hangover.

2008 is in the books, thank God, and now our attention is focused on 2009, a year of hope, change, and promise. Leading the charge is our shiny new Messiah, whoops I meant President Obama.

Who saw that one coming?

Like many pundits in 2008 I predicted Obama would not win. Little did I know the right side of the political fence would avoid the polls in droves come November. Not that I can blame them. People are not going to vote for someone who is really old and looks close to death. Ted Kennedy looks younger for crying out loud.

Didn’t the Republicans learn their lesson with Bob Dole?

Speaking of senile, Joe Biden will be the 2009 Vice-President. He ran for President like ten times, and even got politically assassinated by Dukakis of all people during the 1988 Primaries.

Booby prize, thy name is Joe Biden.

A lot of things will happen in 2009, but then again, a lot of things happen every year. I didn’t realize all these events were happening all over the world until I looked it up on Wiki.

Did you know that the Empire State Building was was lit up for a few days in April in Mariah Carey’s motif colors – lavender, pink, and white – in celebration of her achievements in the world of music?  She is also is the first person in history to be honored by this event.

Good thing there is the Internet, something invented way before 2009 by Al Gore. How he found time to create the world wide web and Global Warming is beyond me.

In 1980 I predicted Lego toys would go bankrupt. Man was I wrong. I was eleven. Who knew? I f^^king hate legos.

I’m sorry, this really is about 2009 and not my misplaced anger towards a children’s product. Back on point…

So what can you expect in the coming year?

Who the hell knows?

Chris Cameron writes this column every Thursday at Radioactive Liberty. He also can be read on his own original humor blog Angry Seafood.