Political Humor

Wow!

That’s pretty much my reaction to that poster from 1911, or just about anything currently coming out of the mouths of the Democrats.

Not a day goes by that I don’t hear a new twist on the same failed policies from the past. No, not the ones George Bush used. I was thinking of the failed policies of Francisco Franco and Benito Mussolini -amongst others. Both of whom are still dead.

You suck my blood like a leech
You break the law and you preach
Screw my brain till it hurts
You’ve taken all my money
And you want more
Excerpt: Death on Two Legs, lyrics by Freddie Mercury

By in large, politicians just don’t listen. Once elected, they conveniently forget to the old, two ears, one mouth rule.  Still, there is a bit of difference between Democrats and Republicans. Some Republicans are starting to listen… a little.

Once they removed their giant elephant heads from their cranial repositories, they discovered a bunch of upset folks. Folks that are ready to vote them out, if they don’t straighten-up and fly (to the) right. But the Democrats have their donkey heads rammed so far up, it’s doubtful they could hear anything, except the non-stop, rhetorical diarrhea flowing from their pie-holes.

I’d have to suspect that talking that much shit -with an anal sphincter tightly constricted around ones neck- would lead to their bodily systems running in reverse. It’s no wonder they’ve got backwards ideas, like government creates jobs and Capitalism is too big. And of course, my favorite: the people of Massachusetts we’re so angry at W, they elected Scott Brown. If that’s not comically inversely proportional to reality, I don’t know what is.

With that kind of contrary thinking Dems, it’s time to kiss your asses goodbye. Some of you have more time than others, but all should practice puckering-up.  It should be convenient, your lips are already so very close.

But… There’s always a but when it comes to asses, and there are few larger butts or bigger asses than the one I’m about to mention. Believe it or not, I can actually think of one Democrat I’d like to see elected in 2012. It’s with this seemingly ridiculous statement in mind, I want to be first to throw my considerable political influence behind the campaign to elect Ted Kennedy as President.

Think about it.

Now that he’s dead, he finally knows how to keep his mouth shut.

We won’t have to worry about him being assassinated. The Secret Service will be happy about that.

Teddy wouldn’t be able to sign any spending Bills into law. This will make him extremely fiscally conservative.

He won’t be boring us, every other day, with some inane teleprompter speech. I’m pretty sick of hearing Obama read bromides that direct platitudes back to the speaker.

This list could go on and on. Feel free to add your own.

Still, the best reason I know,  to go All the Way with Teddy K in 2012, is no matter how much he stinks, it can’t be worse than the stench coming out of Washington now.

Conservative Political Satire and Climate Change Humor by Les James can be located at Sideshow Mirrors and Mild Max

In an exclusive, the  RL Inquirer has learned, from an unnamed source, the truth behind President Obama’s perplexing cozying-up to South American strongmen, Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, Lula de Silva of Brazil and most recently backing ousted would-be dictator, Manuel Zelaya of Honduras. In a scene that could have come right out of the Boys From Brazil, America’s first half-white President has buddied-up to Chavez, in order to get into the good graces of de Silva.

The question becomes, why?

Our inside sources have told us that Obama seeks to circumvent the 22nd Amendment, which sets a two term limit on the President. Obama believes that human cloning is not only possible, but available in Sao Paulo. He thinks a clone is not actually him, so will be able to run for President, after he is ineligible in 2016.

The History

Deep within the Brazilian jungle, Nazi scientist are thought to have first attempted cloning at the end of WWII, but were unable to get it right in time to resurrect Hitler. Work has continued in secret since that time -up until now. The earlier obstacles seemed to have been over-come by Brazilian scientist, but not without difficulties and set-backs.

Other less-than-successful attempts may have included, current Vice President Joe Biden. It’s thought Biden and several of other members of Congress were assassinated some years ago, by the mysterious Second Shooter on the Grassy Knoll. Unfortunately, the intellect of these cloned individuals didn’t develop as desired.

Recent advances in medical technology, and the mapping of the human gene, has made the exact duplication of a ‘fully functional and intelligent person’ not only possible, but apparently, a reality. Presidents for Life, de Silva, Chavez and Manuel Ortega of Nicaragua, and possibly Zelaya, are said to have already cloned themselves, to perpetuate their rule into the foreseeable future. It’s not known why Fidel Castro didn’t take advantage of this program.

The Future?

Obama expects to have several clones grown, at a staggered rate of every eight years. The first one will be ready for the 2016 elections. As a back-up plan, Obama’s Eternal Life Czar, continues to look for the rumored Fountain of Youth.

In related news: Michael Jackson has been spotted today in Dubai, Dresden and outside of a New England Boys Town facility.