Political Humor

Did you know that children are the leading cause of our ballooning deficit?

According to Senator Nancy Pelosi they are. She is pressing Obama for millions of dollars in funding for family planning services, i.e. abortions as a way to stimulate the economy.

Don’t believe me? Here is what Pelosi said when asked by George Stephanopoulos about the subject (this is verbatim folks):

“Well the the family planning services reduce cost. It reduce cost. The states are in terrible ffff uh fiscal budget uh crisis now and and part of it what we do for uh children’s health for education and some of those elements that are to help the states meet their financial needs.

One of those one of them ahh initiatives you mentioned ah ah contraception is well reduced cost to the state and to the federal government.”

Pelosi might sound like an angry Porky Pig/caveman doing an interview but God damn it the bitch knows economics. Abortions are good for the financial health of America after all.

Abortions also make sense from a social standpoint as well. If only more people had that option for free birth control after-the-fact then life would be easier…and quieter.

To think of the times I have gone out to eat only to have the ambiance ruined by a screaming spawn of Satan; the child’s wails cutting through the air like piercing daggers of sound.

I still have nightmares of the lovely miscreant in the apartment above mine who enjoyed television at full volume at six am on a Saturday, just three hours after I went to bed.

Senator Pelosi you have my vote.

Chris Cameron writes this weekly political humor column every Thursday as well as his own weird humor blog Angry Seafood.