Political Humor

I recently discovered this amazing political humor site. I googled conservative political humor, and it was the top result. I took a look around, and from what I’ve seen, Les James and Chris C, who apparently own and operate the site do an excellent job. In a comment on the recent Elena Kagan piece, “Mrs. T” said,

I propose an experiment. Print out what you write then show it to ten complete strangers, be sure to take full credit for your work and record the results.

I assure you Mrs. T, I am a complete stranger, and what is coming from the gaping hole that Les James calls a mouth is top quality politcal humor.

Senator Bendict Arlen Specter was defeated in the Democrat Primary by Congressman Joe Sestak. Back in April 2009 Specter switched from the Republican Party to the Democrats based on the premise that he would be more likely to get elected as a Democrat.

Oops. Hey Arlen, is that egg on your face?

Why, yes it is, Fiar. Eggs Benedict, in fact.

President Obama visited Youngstown, Ohio to act as Cheerleader in Chief for his Economic policies. He told the citizens of Ohio, where unemployment is hovering around 15%

“I think any fair-minded person would say that if we hadn’t acted, more people in the Mahoning Valley, more people in Ohio, and more people across America would be out of work today.”

Teleprompter, telepromter. Wherefore art thou Teleprompter?

That’s always a good tactic. Go to someone who has it bad and tell them how much worse they would be if not for your saving grace. Then again, that is a standard from the Democrat Playbook. When a policy isn’t showing any evidence of having any benefit at all whatsoever, just pull a claim out of your ass that things would be worse without your policy.

Obama’s language feels like if you crashed your car into someone, and then said, “What the Hell are you complaining about? If I hadn’t tapped the brakes, you could be dead. Don’t you see how indebted to me you are?”

Finally, the Internet is buzzing with controversy over pole dancing Miss USA Rima Fakih and her Muslim heritage. One headline I saw even asked if she qualifies as a real Muslim. I, for one, would like to see more pole dancing female Muslims.

It would be a big improvement over the ever fashionable full body Hefty Cinch Sacks. I think the dominant sect of Islam needs to be the St’rippah sect. Then there might be a lot less violence comitted by people of ambiguous religious and cultural heritage.

That’s all I have for now. I would like to thanks Les James and Chris C for allowing me to guest post on their site. I’m new to this whole political humor blogging thing, but I think It’s customary for me to beg for comments now.

This is the second edition of Political Humor Under Fiar, a brief — and apparently quarterly — roundup of the days current events.

Democrats Keep Dropping Like Flies

The Democrats are working overtime to spin the retirement of Evan Bayh as a win for Liberalism. They’re just not ready to kiss their asses goodbye yet. Bayh is being depicted as one of

“a growing line of pragmatic, find-a-way politicians who are abandoning Washington.”

In some cases he is even being depicted as a conservative, even though he was a through and through, tow-the-party-line Democrat. He could be counted on to vote in lock step with the Party on legislation, but if they were to tell us that, then the story here would be that the Democrats have suffered yet another blow.

Instead, the story is that “The moderate middle is disappearing from Congress.” I’m not sure how that is even a story. All you get from Moderates is useless conciliation that gives us watered down compromises that result in everyone being dissatisfied with the result.

The mantra of the day is “Gridlock.” When Republican legislation is blocked by filibuster, or whatever, it is a Glorious Day. The country is saved, but when the Democrat agenda is foiled, even with the majority in both houses of Congress, it is “gridlock” and if we don’t find a way to ram The New New Stimulus Pork Bill through to passage the country just might not survive, what with the initial 3 trillion dollars being of so much help and all.

Senator Arlen Specter observed that it is easier to raise money for political campaigns when you are on the “fringe” of the party, noting that,

“I have to work a lot harder than somebody who has an ideological base.”

So, to recap, it’s easier to get elected when you have actual principles to campaign on. Who woulda thunk it?

The REAL story of Bayh stepping down is the admission of the fact that government serves no measurable useful purpose. Bayh has reported that he is rejoining the private sector in order to have “Real accomplishments in a real way.” Thus proving the point that the biggest problem with politicians is that they want to be politicians, instead of contributing to society.

In related News, when Democrats don’t retire, they just die. They’re still eligible to vote, of course. First it was Ted Kennedy, and more recently John Murtha died while having gall bladder surgery. According to an AP report on Congressman John Murtha’s funeral

“U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is remembering congressman John Murtha at his Pennsylvania funeral as a friend to men and women in the military.”

A friend to men and women in the military? This would, of course, be the very same John Murtha that said of the Marines involved in the Haditha case,

“There was no firefight. There was no IED that killed these innocent people. Our troops overreacted because of the pressure on them, and they killed innocent civilians in cold blood.”

The charges were ultimately dropped. With friends like Murtha, who needs enemas? Perhaps I’m just being a bitter Pennsylvanian.

King Tut Autopsy

Speaking of dead politicians, DNA testing shows that the famous Egyptian Pharaoh, King Tut, died of malaria. Mosquitoes, which carry malaria, are one of the deadliest creatures on the face of the Earth. Since the time of the hysteria over DDT instigated by Rachael Carson, millions more have died from a common and preventable disease.

Thankfully, technology may be coming to the rescue once more, albeit a few thousand years too late for King Tut. A company called Intellectual Ventures has developed a laser that targets mosquitoes. It’s like Starship Troopers on a miniature scale.

Additional conclusions from the study show King Tut also suffered from an infected broken leg and that he had many health problems due to “genetic deformations caused by the marriage of his father Akhenaten to his sister.” I never knew that Tut was from Mississippi?

That wraps up this edition of Political Humor Under Fiar. Leave words of praise and admiration in the comments section. See you in three months.

Because Conservatives Want The Dirt Too

Welcome to the first post from our new section, the Radioactive Liberty Inquirer.  It’s Yellow Journalism at it’s finest.  Ask yourself… why should all of the major networks and check-out line scandal sheets get all the good stories?  This is a question that’s been going around the RL boardroom for some months now. The conclusion we came to?  They shouldn’t. It seems kind of greedy of them. Down right unfair. We feel entitled to our share, plus some from the rich news outlets too (just because they’re rich), and we shouldn’t have to work for it either. This is Obama’s America after all.

Our philosophy at this last bastion of honesty is simple, you deserve to get your sensationalized, hard-hitting, behind the scenes, down in the trenches, scandal ridden, half truths and hearsay, from a news organization you can trust. And you can trust us, or my name isn’t Les James.

Why look to RLI for your political information needs? Because unlike others I won’t name…yet, we’re forthcoming about our content being humor, satire, sarcasm, parody, opinion, and flat out lies. That, and we do it all for the children. Besides, who has time to go looking for all the juicy news items, when all you have to do is subscribe to our RSS feed?  And it’ll come right to your computer. Now that’s convenient.

In the most important way, the RL Inquirer is exactly like the MSM, or “Statist Media”. Why, just like our competitors at NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, Air America, The Huffington Post, The Daily KOS, tons of other left-wing loon blogs, almost any newspaper and many print magazines, ect, ect, ect, our team of crack reporters stays awake at night, thinking this crap up. That’s what you’ve come to expect from us, that’s what you’ll continue to get. Slanted news and biased views, just like the other guys.  It’s the truth you’d write… if you had a better imagination.

While you may not notice any significant outward change in our format with this new feature, you can be sure that when it comes to Yellow, the RL Inquirer is always prepared to rain on any political parade.

It could be true.