Political Humor

Obama Bugs Me

Judge Walker, the chief judge of the Federal District Court in San Francisco (like you couldn’t guess the city), ruled this past Wednesday the National Security Agency’s program of surveillance on U.S citizens, sans warrants is… can I get a drum roll please?… illegal. Now where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, Sen Barack Obama. Still, his administration has tried to keep this well used program  shrouded in secrecy. I guess it’s OK to spy on us as long as George Bush isn’t President.

Could I have made that caption any more awkward?

Fast Food Fix

Fast food will make your children steal, and it’s not their fault. That’s right, eating burgers and fries will force them to shoplift from convenience stores, burglarize your neighbor’s homes and lift cash from your wallets.

Why? Because recent studies have shown it’s as addictive as heroin. We’ve all seen what can happen when McDonald’s runs out of McNuggets -it’s crack whore central.

But don’t worry, Michelle Obama will get your kids into a 12 Step Program, while Kathleen Sebelus shuts down the Fast Food Cartels. It’s up against the wall, Ronald. You’re being replaced with Mickey Mao.

Speaking of 12 Step Programs, when Tiger Woods went into sex rehab, was he slowly weaned-off of porn stars? “OK Tiger, this week we’re going to cut you down to only four women a day. Next week it’s three.” The inhumanity.

The Obama Presidency: Downsizing Your Exceptions

Is Obama Practicing Black Magic?

Ali Hussein Subat, a Lebanese magician, was sentenced to death last month in Saudi Arabia for sorcery, but he’s been given a temporary reprieve. Subat claims he practiced black magic over the past eight years in order to treat patients.

In other words, a man with absolutely no medical training or background -and with the middle name Hussein- thought he could magically run a health care program.

If he walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and weights the same as a duck, he’s made of wood. Therefore…

Does anyone else see a disturbing pattern? Or is it just me?

Hey, visit my other blogs, please. I’ve haven’t done much lately with Mild Max and my crusade against the Global Warming crowd. Then there’s more political humor and satire at Sideshow Mirrors, where Eric’s been having a ball, but he’s getting kind of lonely -’cause I haven’t been posting much there either. Stop by and say hi to him, won’t ya?

The following article is a reprint from the Huffington Post. We didn’t bother asking permission to use this copyrighted material, as they never do.

With the nation’s economy in decline, President Elect Barack Hussein Obama has taken matters out of his hands and placed them into the military’s. In what is being seen as a bold move, Obama has met with General Staff from the four branches of service as well as leading manufactures of military hardware.

While details of this historic meeting may never be revealed, the few bits and pieces that have leaked out has sent shock waves of astonishment across party lines. Unique, innovative, and pure genus, are some of the words being used to describe the brainchild of this next Lincoln.

In a press release sent out today from the President Elect’s camp, Obama is quoted as saying, “We simply don’t have the manpower to throw that amount of money at every problem. Do you have any idea how big a pile two trillion dollars is?”

He added, “As the military will soon be playing a much reduced role in national defense and keeping the world safe for Democracy, I had to find something for them to do. I simply can’t fire them all and keep my promise of creating five million new jobs.”

What Obama is proposing is that the U.S. military develop and deploy what is being called the Financial Bomb or “F” Bomb. A senior military adviser to the incoming President, who wishes to remain unnamed, told this reporter that, “We have all of these weapons of mass destruction laying around. It just seemed a natural fit to convert them for peaceful uses.”

When asked how this would happen he said, “Well, the military will take out the explosive, or bad stuff and replace it with cash or good stuff. President Obama is not only willing but very anxious to drop the F Bomb whenever and wherever he sees the need.”

A lobbyist for a major munitions contractor filled in a few of the blanks. She said that there has been testing going on for some time now in anticipation of an administration that would want this capability. The first tests were performed on humans using homeless as the targets. A twelve-gauge shotgun was loaded with dimes and fired into a soup kitchen line. This did not achieve the desired effect and was soon dropped.

Later testing was done with large cannons filled with sacks of cash. Again failing to meet the standards. It was soon after this time that F Bomb was built.

While technically developed during the Bush years, Obama will receive the credit if it works and be able to blame the last administration if it fails.

It is speculated that while no specific target or goal is expected to ever be known, we could see the F Bomb dropped as early as the end of January.

[Note: Hope and change from above are nice dreams but reality is another thing all together. The two images below represent a far more realistic representation of what our future holds. Instead of economic impact filtering down from above, more likely it will impact from the bottom up -Les]

See a picture you like, use it. We here at this Conservative Humor and Satire blog don’t mind if you spread the wealth of humor around.  Just give us a little credit for our hard work, unlike Huffpo.

Les James can be found here every Monday and occasionally at his political satire blog Sideshow Mirrors.