Political Humor

In only six months, President Barack Hussein Obama has provided more political humor than I ever thought possible. The problem is, most of this material is not LOL funny, it’s more groaners. It’s in that spirit, Radioactive Liberty proudly presents:

Penultimately Bad Obama Jokes and Funny Pictures

Why penultimately? Because I’m sure he’ll just keep dishing-up stuff I can lampoon -at least one more time. Yeah, you’re right. If I can do this type of post more than one time in the future, I suppose it’s not really the next to last. Still, it is a catchy title.

The Sun Never Sets On The Chosen One

Yes, he only has one arm, but so does a slot machine. And like a one-armed bandit, he takes your money, you take your chances, and the odds are about as good.

Obama Q And A

Q: Why did Senator Arlen Specter cross the aisle?

A: To get to the Obama side.

Q: What’s black and white and red all over?

A: Obama.

Q: Hey, did you hear that Obama’s Aunt Zeituni is getting deported?

A: Yeah, they’re sending her back to Hawaii.

Spinin’ The Oldies

Q: You see Obama riding a bike along the road. Why don’t you swerve and hit him?

A: It’s probably your bike.

Q: What’s black and brown and would look good on Obama?

A: A Doberman.

Q: Obama and a snake are laying on a Red State road. How can you tell which one’s the snake?

A: It has skid marks in front of it.

The Naked Truth

Looks like something Seth Green would come up with for Robot Chicken.

Fiar’s Contribution To Q And A

Q: What do you see when you look into Obama’s eyes?

A: The back of his head.

Q: What do Obama and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do you tell an Obama with two black eyes?

A: Nothing. He’s already been told twice.

Q: What do you get when you offer Obama a penny for his thoughts?

A: Change.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?

A: Obama.

Q: What did the left nut say to the right nut?

A: Obama.

Etc

I heard Obama got a brain transplant and the brain rejected him.

Obama’s so clumsy he got tangled up in a cordless phone

I Am The Acorn King

How The Left Truly Sees Us

KKK Clansman Radical Nazi Mobster, Racist Protester: “I hear Obama’s well-hung.”

White Supremacist Tea-bagging, Rabid Evil-Monger Protester: “Yeah, he can’t get a finger in between his neck and the rope!”

A Little Too Far?

Before you go all ballistic, I still contend that Obama is white -other than Hispanic- ’cause he’s only half black. So that makes him just another white bread, liberal elitist, (with a George Hamilton tan) and therefore nothing new or special. Except in a short bus sense. You know, the one he throws his friends and relatives under.

The Economy

Things are really tough at Michelle and Barack’s.

How tough are they?

They’re so tough that Barack can’t even hope to spare some change for his half-brother George.

Barack at the dinner table:  “Girls, eat everything on your plates. You have relatives starving in Africa.”

Obama Care

Obama, the Pope and a Dirty Hippie walk into a bar. Obama says, “Ouch! Quick, someone get me the best team of doctors in the world, and I don’t care how much it cost or how many test it takes!”

Obama Does Stand-up

“Come on, I won’t cut off your granny’s health care, just her life support.”

Pa-dum-dum

“Hello! Is anyone out there? No, really. I can’t tell with these compact florescent bulbs.”

Silence

“Don’t worry about Obama Care. I’m going to treat you like family.”

Pa-dum-dum

“The Second Amendment? Of course I support Michelle’s right to bare arms.”

Pa-dum-dum

“What, these jokes are killing you? Take a pill.”

Pa-dum-dum

“But seriously folks, just because your visiting this political humor blog, doesn’t mean you’re on an “Enemies of the State List” or somethin’.”

Crickets chirp

“Hey, I’ll be here for the next 8-10 years! Er, more like 7 and a half to, ah, nine and a half, or umm… Where’s my frikkin’ teleprompter? Dammit, I need a beer and a cigarette!”

Right Wing Devils Made Me Do It

Limbaugh: “We’re taking a twenty-one hour break. But we’ll be back tomorrow on Open Line Friday.”

Les: “We’ll enough life altering wisdom for today. I’ve got to get some writing done. If miss my deadline, Fiar will beat me like his pet hippie. Man it’s getting harder and harder to come up with satire when the whole government is satire already.”

Limbaugh: “So what did you think of today’s show?”

Les: “Huh, I thought I turned the radio off.”

Limbaugh: “You did.”

Les: “Very funny joke, Rush. Come on, we both know that you use Radioactive Liberty for show prep. Trying to get back at me? So where’s the speaker?”

Limbaugh: “I’m the speaker. Your guiding light in times of tumult…”

Les: “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Okay, how are you doing this? You got a Ditto Cam in here or what?”

Limbaugh: “No, no Ditto Cam, no EIB microphone. I’m in your head.”

Les: : “What?”

Limbaugh: “I’m in your head. Actually, I’m stuck in here.”

Les: “What do you mean you’re stuck?”

Limbaugh: “Just that. Like a song that you can’t get rid of. Stuck.”

Les: “Okay I’ll play along, how’d you get stuck in my head?”

Limbaugh: “You invited us in by listening to AM talk radio and watching Fox News. In a way, it’s your doing, not ours.”

Les: “Us? Ours? Who else is in there?”

Rivera: “Chris Wallace and I are getting sick and tired of being lumped in with all of you radical conservative rabble-rouser’s at Fox. So we’re going to sit over here and shake our heads a lot.”

Les: “Huh?”

Hannity: “You’re a Great American, Les.”

Les: “Sean? What the… As much as I love you guys, you, Mike Wallace, Geraldo and Rush need to go… now! Leave me alone.”

Hannity: “Can’t. We’re on a mission.”

Les: “What the hell do you mean you’re on a mission? It’s my head and I don’t want you in there. Go away!”

Coulter: “We aren’t leaving Les. Just get use to it. Michelle Malkin and I are actually enjoying being in your head. I’m starting to see where you come up with all of those Photoshop ideas. You’re a twisted little pup, aren’t you? By the way those Palin Pin-ups are hilarious. And…if you’d like… I’ll send you some pictures of me that don’t need to be Photoshoped, if you know what I’m saying.”

Les: “I…ah…”

Malkin: “Hey, Ann, come see what I just found in repressed memories. This one goes back to when he was seventeen and there was this girl who..”

Les: “Whoa! Stay out of there! That’s embarrassing stuff. Now all of you, go away!”

Beck: “Okay guys, I’ve got a big clown shoe. Say the word and I’ll give his cerebellum a good whack with it, and we’ll get on with the possession.”

Les: “Possession? Put the clown shoe down, Glenn. Do you hear me? Don’t you go anywhere near my…

Hannity: “Les? Les? Can you hear me?”

Les: “Yes, Sean.”

Hannity: “Good. Now this is very important.”

Les: “Yes, Sean. Very important.”

Hannity: “I want you to buy a Brooks Brothers suit. There’s a large, black SUV waiting for you in front of your house. Get in. They’ll take you to get fitted.

Les: “Yes, Sean. Brooks Brothers suit.”

Limbaugh: “Then you need to get on a bus to Pittsburgh. It’s a charter. I’m paying for it as well as the suit, so don’t worry about the cost.”

Les: “Get on the bus.”

Beck: “And when you arrive, look out for the clowns!”

Coulter: “Enough already with the clowns, Glenn. Now Les, when you get to Pennsylvania, goose step along with other people from the bus to a Town Hall meeting. The subject will be about anything but health care reform.”

Limbaugh: “You are to be part of a well dressed, but unruly, angry and possibly rabid, Republican Backed Mob. There’s going to be a Democrat Senator speaking that needs heckling. Oh, and if anybody ask, you were sent there by an insurance company.”

Les: “Yes. Masters.”

John McCain is dangerous for America. He will rape the Earth, eat your baby, and send the Death Star to destroy the world. He also hates black people.

John McCain is a war monger. According to certified idiot, Pat Buchanan – Who has never held a credible opinion in his life – John McCain “will make Hitler look like Ghandi.” Actually, he said Cheney, not Hitler, but we already know that the difference there is trivial.

John McCain hates foreigners. Sure he favors amnesty for illegal immigrants, but he doesn’t even know any foreign languages, just like typical embarassing Americans. When Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. John McCain doesn’t even know what “Merci beaucoup” means in Spanish. Obama may have his head stuck in a bucket, but at least he knows that much.

John McCain wants to see women punished with childbirth. He wants to take the tender, succulent babies and eat them with A1 steak sauce. A1, yeah. It’s that important. He will take the tougher, stringier babies and send them off to die in Iraq. We look to this MoveOn.Org video where a distressed and confused mother is holding her baby, and feeding it drano. She’s terrified that John McCain will take her baby away. She even breaks into a Ramones song parody.

John McK-K-Kain took my baby away. He took him away. Away from me. John McK-K-Kain took my baby away. He took my boy. He took my baby away.

See the terror that is inflicted when people are punished with babies? John McCain is a terrorist.

John McCain wants to kill Iranians with cigarettes. That’s not even efficient. We all know that Global Warming is going to kill us all in the next 6 months, or 6 millenia. The difference there is trivial. We should kill the Iranians with SUVs and LCD screen TVs.

Wait! No. We shouldn’t kill the Iranians at all. We should hand deliver them scones and missiles, and apologize profusely for being ignorant Americans that don’t even know what “Merci beaucoup” means in their native tongue. That’s what Barack Obama will do.

John McCain doesn’t even have a detailed plan for the impending global climate crisis. Has he proposed any floating lilly pad cities? No. He seems to be of the opinion that we should just let global warming kill ‘em all and let Gaia sort them out. In fact, he scored a 0 — yes, zero — from the League of Conservation Voters last year.

Obama will impose rations, raise gas taxes to unaffordable rates, and stop people from being punished with babies, which will lower consumption further.

John McCain is a threat to America and the American way of life. Whether your baby is tender and succulent, or tough and stringy, it is imperative to their future that we keep John McCain out of office.

Yeah. It’s that important.

I’m John McCain and I approve this Walmart.

McCain Walmart greeter photoshop by Les, just for Chris.

Humor-Blogs.com knows Obama Spanish. That’s the one where “Merci beaucoup” isn’t French.

This is a presentation of conservative political humor. You can have it delivered straight to your inbox or RSS reader by subscribing.