Political Humor

Holy crap Obama started a war with Libya and the left is totally fine with it?

Liberals, you just went off the reservation. And your War Chief is leading the way.

Color me impressed.

I never thought you would come around to this way of thinking. And you are not messing around either.

Circumventing Congress was a smart move. Remember last time the US played by the rules? It took forever to get approval.

The UN took like a week.

Besides, it is a much better move to buy, I mean attain the UN’s permission because they get jealous and throw hissy fits if the US starts wars without them.

Going with the military help of ten nations instead of forty, like in Iraq is a much better idea. Less carbon footprint. We are there to secure the oil not destroy the ecosystem.

I especially like how liberals are keeping the public guessing.

That one part where you said the US was not running the show yet at the same time you said we were handing control over to NATO but yet at the same time France was kind of in charge but at the same time we were the ones bombing everything?

Yeah that was awesome.

And don’t worry about any kind of plan or how things will turn out. Just keep flying over the country and blowing a bunch of shit up and in no time you will get your Neo-Lib badge and your very own Headdress of The Lower War Chief.

Disclaimer: Being Lower War Chief does involve getting coffee for the Upper War Chiefs every morning but the health benefits are not that bad.

Some years ago I knew a couple of guys who would go to this one particular club. They went for two reasons. The first was, the Chippendale dancers. No, they weren’t gay; they were waiting for the show to get out, in one of the smaller bars. My former associates let someone else do all the work. They were vultures, looking for free and easy …pickin’s.

They also went to the club when the male dancers weren’t performing, ‘cause the female ones were. They went for the lap dances.

Men and ah, some of you ladies, if this has got you ready to leave this page and set your Google SafeSearch filter to the Off position, you may be susceptible to the hollow allure of Political Lap Dancing Syndrome.

Hi, I’m Les James, Doctor of Photography and researcher behind an amazing, recent political poll. In an unscientific survey, where I spoke to no one but myself, and I responded (multiple times), there was unanimous agreement, those who let someone else do all the work, and then swoop in for the benefits, and are prone to stuffing unemployment compensation or welfare check dollar bills behind the tiny g-strings of empty promises -in the hope for something more- are most likely liberals, and show definite signs of PLDS.

For those suffering with Political Lap Dancing Syndrome, metaphorically, it’s no different than paying for an expensive date, only to get a peck on the cheek at night’s end. These deluded individuals will then continue to pay increasingly more and more, and court the same people, expecting a better outcome. It’s sad, isn’t it?

Political Lap Dancing Syndrome, metaphorically, it’s no different than paying for an expensive date, only to get a peck on the cheek at night’s end.

Lets’ face facts as I know them, what they think they want looks really titillating on the surface, and it appears to be within easy reach. If they are willing to pay enough of other people’s money, occasionally they may actually gain a little short-lived satisfaction.

The problem is, in the end or other places, they most likely will come away with something really didn’t want and is far too easily spread.

While there is no cure for PLDS, Planned Parenthood promotes abortion as a safe method of preventing propagation to future generations.

Now you may be saying, ‘Les, you ignorant asswhip! You have no idea what you’re talking about and you’re just making shit up like Fox News!’ To which I reply, I know you are, but what am I? That, and my survey techniques and conclusions have as much validity as Election Day exit polling and Climate Change research.

So there.

Only political humor pictures can spread faster than exotic dancers. Spread some of ours far and wide today, they like it.

“Do either of you know why our party lost the recent midterm elections?” Barack Obama bellowed from his desk at the two advisers seated on the couch nearby.

“A wave sir.” Adviser One replied.

“What have I told you about using that word to describe an obvious setback?”

“Sorry sir.” Adviser Two said.

Where was I?” Obama turned his chair around and gazed out the window of the Oval Office. “Oh, yes the reason. We missed a special interest group.”

Adviser Two furiously rifled through the pile of papers in his folders. “Sir, I can’t find a demo we did not target. We got the gay vote, the Black vote, the illegal alien vote, the Hispanic vote, the women’s vote.”

“I think I see where he’s going with this Adviser Two.” Adviser One said. “We missed the Black Hispanic lesbian illegal alien segment.”

“No you idiots!” Obama spun back around in his chair and slammed his fist on the desk. “Do I have to do all the thinking around here? White heterosexual males.”

“Straight white men sir?”

“Exactly!” Obama smiled. “Now we’re talking.”

“But isn’t that demographic pretty much the Republican party and most of the Independents?” Adviser Two said.

Adviser One chimed in “And most of them would never vote for Democrats.”

“And that is why we lost.” Obama said. “So, I am signing an executive order making the first Monday in June ‘White Heterosexual Male Day’.”

“A holiday for straight white men?” Adviser One asked. “Won’t the minority demos be upset that we gave a holiday to the majority?”

“Again, do I have to do the thinking for you two? Votes…duh!”

“I’m One sir.” Adviser One pointed with his thumb to his left. “He’s Two.”

“Whatever.” Obama rubbed his chin. “We need to include something about white men swearing terse-like too.”

“What like sir?”

“Terse.” Obama sighed again. “Terse as in short, as in my temper! Do I always have to be the smartest guy in the room? ”

“Sir I think it’s time for a smoke break.”

“Good idea.”