Political Humor

“Dawning now my gay apparel. Fa la la, la la la. La, la, la,…”

Uncle Sam pulled the covers from over his head, so as to discover the source of the of f-key caroling.

His bedchamber had been transformed into great hall of feasting. It held far more food than could be ever eaten before it rotted. Seated upon the main table, in the middle of a Cornucopia of Plenty, was the Fruitcake of Fire Island, Barney Frank.

“You must be the Ghost of Congress Present,” Uncle Sam said.

“The one and only. Look upon me!” Barney lisped, as he lobed a turkey leg at Uncle Sam’s head, which he easily dodged.

“You throw like a girl.”

“And?”

“Who’s going to eat all of this?”

“Just me.”

“So most of it will go to waste?” Uncle Sam asked.

“And?”

“I suppose you’re going to show me what Christmas would be like without me?”

“Nope.” Half-chewed food rolled out of Barney’s open mouth. “I’m going to show you Christmas like it is. All the poor, huddled, unwashed masses, hoping you’d do more for them.”

“Tax the rich. Feed the poor…”

“Til there are no rich no more. You got it.”

With a sashay and a swish, they we off.

Upon his return, Uncle Sam indeed did feel as though he needed to reach deeper into the empty public coffers, but it was his last visitor that didst spook him the most.

The specter was adorned as a Tea Party Patriot, except in black and grays. Of course, he uttered not a word.

Then there was the obligatory graveyard scene, and the tombstone, and all the “Oh, spirit, I get it now. I’ve changed. You’ll see. You don’t have to do this. Please spare me! Please!” and the rest of the blubbering and begging .Uncle Sam awoke the next morning, tore open the shutters and through up the sash.

“Hey you, lad,” Uncle Sam yelled down to the street below. “Is that giant turkey still hanging around?”

“Yeap. This is DC, after all,” the young lad cried.

“Leave it where it be. If I’ve learned nothing else this night just past, I know now I have no need some monster turkey, and I certainly do not require any further pork. Those things do not bring happiness nor prosperity. I’m heading out to acquire a simple burger and side of Freedom Fries. No one can be of ill spirits whilst eating a hamburger, my boy.”

“Mister, it’s Christmas Day, nothin’s open.”

“Shit.”

It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good-humour. -A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

Big Brother Jackboots Liberty in the Nuts… again

If any of you think Obama signing the repeal of Don’t ask, don’t tell is about fairness, you’re sadly mistaken. It’s about how it looks. It’s called Optics.

Socialist Dems want to weasel (or gerbil) their way  into every orifice of American life. Those sad sacks sneakily waited for a Lame Duck session in Congress, and then slipped-in the bill.  What a slimy, backdoor trick. I’ll tell you, it stinks.

President Obama and the Democrat Congress don’t actually care whether gays can serve openly, they only care gays think they care. In the end, it’s votes.

The exception to this is Barney Frank. Now when he cruses Annapolis or West Point, he’ll have a better chance of finding a real man to dance with.

“My belly’s full. My belt is tight. My balls are swingin”, from left to right.”

The old Drill Sergeant’s standby, “There’s only steers and queers in Texas, and I don’t see no horns on you”, is truer than ever.

A steer is a castrated bull. The Military had its balls cut off today, and handed to them. From my twenty plus years in the Army, I know they’ll grab large needles and lengths of parachute cord. Then these brave souls will field expediently sew them back on, while fighting to keep us free from Democracy.

I salute you all.

Yes it’s been a while. Me and Fiar have been involved in Dark Ops for several months. Can’t talk about it. Chris C is still out there somewhere and Jumpout is MIA.

So much has happened. So many lost opportunities for great political humor.

Oh well.  I thought I’d ease back into this with some political humor images.

The best stuff in the last couple days are the dude in San Diego told TSA “If you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested.”,

and Charlie Rangle walking out on his own ethics trial -that he asked for.  Funny, but not surprising. Just proves that Washington Insiders are a

different species.

Guess that’s all for now.

I’d like to thank Les James, Doctor of Photography, for giving me permission to publish the Nancy and Barney images that originally appeared on Sideshow Mirrors (his seldom updated and seldom read blog).  Crap, that’s me. It HAS been too long.