Political Humor

Brews at the White House.  Obama, Biden and Gates pick at their nuts.  Crowley bravely faces this “teachable moment”.

The recent Suds and Duds Beer Fest at the White House raised the ugly specter of Racial Profiling to the forefront of the American Consciousness, again. (Actually it was Obama’s Black Panther styled, racist remarks that caused the whole problem in the first place, but we’re not supposed to say that. Shhhhh.) This is sarcasm.

In the interest of National Security and spurred on by the ever increasing threat from society’s majority, the Department of Homeland Security has taken decisive action. They released a computer program. That’ll fix it. This is sarcasm too.

The majority being defined as, dangerous, chick digging, white males between the ages of 18 and 65, that aren’t poor trailer trash, crips or tards, (’cause everyone else is a minority) who continue to point fingers at protected class minority citizens, laugh, make non-PC jokes, say mean spirited and hurtful things about them, or worse, to them. This is the ugly truth in the form of a joke.

Author’s Note:

Since I qualify, hitting all points of  the above criteria, I can say what I want about the majority. But, if you aren’t a member of this disreputable, world dominating group, keep your fucking mouth shut and opinions about us to yourself, or I’ll put a size 13 boot up your minority ass. This is a threat.

It’s a middle-class, white guy thing. You wouldn’t understand. This is satire, or possibly parody.I’m willing to entertain your opinions on this. That’s because I’m enlightened, tolerant, a really nice guy, that and I’ve been taking pointers from Fiar.

What? Give a Politically Correct apology for my Absolutely Correct analyses?

My left ball I will -which sits next to it’s twin and hangs beneath something else The Messiah doesn’t possess (despite what the opening title said). This may well be true. And even if it’s not, I’m going to keep saying it.

If you were at all offended by this, good. It makes my point all that more salient. The reason I continue to bring up Obama’s half white, half black roots, is because he’s made an issue of it. This gives me not only permission, but a license to satire. Practically a mandate. Personally, I couldn’t give a shit less about someone’s color, gender, religious preference, creed, etc, etc,etc. I’m an American. Nothing in front of it, and if that not good enough for you too, go back where you came from. But ask your mother’s permission first. I gotta think that would hurt, a lot. This is just sick and not very funny.

DHS Computer program replaces sketch artist

Have you seen this person of interest? If you have, please notify the jackbooted, Brown Shirts at ACORN or DHS and get one Carbon Credit or an extra week’s, lifesaving treatment for an aging relative. Offer expires with the relative. Now that’s funny.

Because Conservatives Want The Dirt Too

Welcome to the first post from our new section, the Radioactive Liberty Inquirer.  It’s Yellow Journalism at it’s finest.  Ask yourself… why should all of the major networks and check-out line scandal sheets get all the good stories?  This is a question that’s been going around the RL boardroom for some months now. The conclusion we came to?  They shouldn’t. It seems kind of greedy of them. Down right unfair. We feel entitled to our share, plus some from the rich news outlets too (just because they’re rich), and we shouldn’t have to work for it either. This is Obama’s America after all.

Our philosophy at this last bastion of honesty is simple, you deserve to get your sensationalized, hard-hitting, behind the scenes, down in the trenches, scandal ridden, half truths and hearsay, from a news organization you can trust. And you can trust us, or my name isn’t Les James.

Why look to RLI for your political information needs? Because unlike others I won’t name…yet, we’re forthcoming about our content being humor, satire, sarcasm, parody, opinion, and flat out lies. That, and we do it all for the children. Besides, who has time to go looking for all the juicy news items, when all you have to do is subscribe to our RSS feed?  And it’ll come right to your computer. Now that’s convenient.

In the most important way, the RL Inquirer is exactly like the MSM, or “Statist Media”. Why, just like our competitors at NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, Air America, The Huffington Post, The Daily KOS, tons of other left-wing loon blogs, almost any newspaper and many print magazines, ect, ect, ect, our team of crack reporters stays awake at night, thinking this crap up. That’s what you’ve come to expect from us, that’s what you’ll continue to get. Slanted news and biased views, just like the other guys.  It’s the truth you’d write… if you had a better imagination.

While you may not notice any significant outward change in our format with this new feature, you can be sure that when it comes to Yellow, the RL Inquirer is always prepared to rain on any political parade.

It could be true.

Good evening, America. I am Janet Napolitano, and I am speaking to you in an effort to quell your fears about the recent epidemic of swine flu. Do not be afraid because your messiahPresident, and his apostles cabinet are coming up with innovative new solutions to combat this microbial menace.

Make no mistake, this is the worst public health disaster since the Black Death of the 1300′s. As such, we must act now. There is no time to waste. Currently, members of the House and Senate are working on bipartisan bills that look like Tolstoy novels. We know from past experience that legislation with more pages than the average trailer park resident can count make you sheep people feel like we are trying to help you. I mean, not that we aren’t. Trying to help you I mean. Well, as opposed to doing things solely to solidify the Democrats grip on…but I digress. Where was I?

Anyway, President Obama wants to make sure you people understand that now is not the time to get all xenophobic. Yes, we understand that the problem likely originated in Mexico, and spread here through our porous southern border. We also understand that it seems like common sense to start shoring up our borders and immigration policies. We will, however, not do any of those things that sound like good ideas.

What we are going to do is vote on this mammoth “Health Stimulus Bill” tomorrow even though it has 23,000 pages and would be humanly impossible to read in such a short amount of time. This bill is going to spend 14 trillion dollars on things such as AIDS research in Africa, creating solar power-plants, mag-lev trains, funding HAMAS education programs in Gaza, and lining the pockets of ACORN.

Remember, now is not the time to panic. The swine flu is only here to infect the people that American flu strains are too lazy to infect. Don’t go clinging to guns and bibles. You won’t be able to bring those to the camp…oops.

If you would like to read more of Janet Napolitano…oops…I mean JumpOut, you can find him writing law enforcement humor at You Should Be Tasered