Political Humor

Uncle Barack Wants You

With the myriad problems that face our nation today, problems like people getting rich, businesses making profits, workers not belonging to unions, and poverty in Africa, we need every American to work towards bettering America. Uncle Barack feels there is a great, untapped resource of citizens with the proper mindset to help this country make great strides towards economic and social justice. Uncle Barack is going to tap middle-school students, and retirees to shape this country in His image.

It’s clear that these two groups of Americans have way too much free time on their hands. We should stop our middle school students playing soccer, playing video games, and trolling blogs. We should stop our retirees playing golf, R.V.ing, and running for president. We need these groups to channel their energies in a much more productive direction. We need them to man the soup kitchens, to speak to underserved groups in the ghetto about how whitey is keeping them down, and to fly to Darfur to hold signs protesting the genocide. What better way for a ten year old to learn geography than by flying them to Somalia to learn about how benevolent warlords care for the people of that country.

We all know that rich white executives from the suburbs do not want their tax dollars to go to inner-city children. Instead we’re going to send their children, and their elderly parents to the inner-city to collect recyclables.

Of course all this service will be completely voluntary. Uncle Barack and his team would oppose any efforts to embarass children who do not agree with with this policy. Nor would he try to silence any critics of these programs in the media. Uncle Barack feels that there is room for all view points in the new, post-racial, post-political, America, and he would never try to force anyone into service, or to punish those who choose not to be a part of providing the American Dream to every American.

So parents, what you need to do is teach your kid ebonics and Spanish. We need to ensure that our children can communicate with the under served communities that we are going to serve. Retirees, sell your R.V.s and golf clubs so you can do your part to make the world a better place for our children to serve.

Read more of JumpOut at his own Law Enforcement Humor and Political Satire Blog, You Should Be Tasered