Political Humor

Perhaps you have heard of the Global Warming SuperHeroes, the website that spews the same AGW beliefs as the rest of those on the left. But they do it with a cutesy premise of comic book characters.

First off, I am disappointed in Gaia Girl. Usually the female super heroes show more cleavage. And what’s up with Flash Carbon? His package is aimed at GG and he’s winking at us. Are we to imply he scored?

I suspect the logo is not what it appears to be. Les can you help me out here?

Les: How’s that?

Oooh nice. It is missing something though.

Les: How about now? Gore looks like ten pounds of carbon stuffed into a 5 pound sack.

Indeed. That is perfect and the EPA acronym is fitting.

Look out world, here come the Global Warming SuperZeroes! The future of humanity depends on them?

Mild Max, the Radioactive Liberty post-apocalyptic dime store satirical on-going novel about a man in a future world wracked by an Ice Age returns with an all-new chapter. (Want to write a chapter of Mild Max? Find out after the story. Missed a chapter or all of them? Links down at the bottom as well.)

Chapter 11: The Best Laid Plans…

It was day two of the journey to New Brazil.

While traveling through the solar panel farms in the mountains, we stopped at one of them to rest. Well, what used to be farms. In this messed-up world people took everything that wasn’t nailed down, and then everything that was.

The hippies wanted everyone to recycle and they finally got their wish. Every last bit of glass, plastic, metal has been stripped away, taken to who the hell knows where. Nothing left here but pavement.

I’m surprised someone hasn’t taken that too.

But the scavengers are long gone. And the old farms go on for another couple hundred miles or so. We should be able to make some good time without being seen or bothered. No sign of the Off Roaders or the Roaders.

I picked up the solar-powered walkie-talkie that was sitting on top of the dash. There wasn’t a lot of sunlight in California but enough to power small devices. I radioed to the other Humvee parked ten feet ahead of us.

“Hey, Steven. You guys done yet?”

“Almost.” Steven replied back, sighing.

I looked at Simon, one of the four men from the other vehicle sitting in the passenger’s seat. “So, why aren’t you over there partaking in the flitter love fest?”

“I’m not one of them.” Simon replied. “I was hired for this like you were.”

I laughed. “Kid, you look way too young to be security detail. How old are you, fifteen?”

“I’m twenty and I’m a mechanic.” Simon smiled back at me. “And aren’t you so old you remember what it was like before the ice age?”

Cynthia chuckled from the back seat. “He’s got you there Max.”

“Don’t encourage him.”

Suddenly, there was a howl that sounded close by.

“UNknown!” Cynthia yelled.

I turned the engine over and grabbed the walkie-talkie. “Steven! We got company!” There was no response.

“Where the hell is it?” Simon exclaimed.

“Steven! UNknown!” I yelled into the walkie-talkie.

BAM!

The UNknown landed on the roof of the other Humvee with a loud bang, crumpling it like a tomato can and crushing the flitter orgy inside. Giving off an ear-piercing shriek, it charged in our direction. I threw the Humvee into reverse and floored it, then spun it around in a 180, jammed it into drive and took off.

“It’s gaining on us!” Cynthia yelled.

“Well, get the hell up top and take that damn thing down!” I shouted.

“I can’t!” She replied, her fist slamming on the hatch door. “It must be frozen shut!”

Son of a bitch. We had an equalizer but no way to get to it unless we stopped. The only option was to try and outrun the damn mutant thing. I steered us towards some woods, hoping we could use the trees to trip up the UNknown. It caught up to us and kept slamming into the Humvee’s side, trying to run us off the road like in one of those old car chase movies.

It hit us so hard one time the two wheels on the driver’s side went off the ground for a few seconds. Then it hit us again. The Humvee tumbled over on its roof and slid along the ground until our momentum gave out and we came to a stop. Cynthia and Simon were out cold. I wasn’t much better.

Looking out the cracked windshield I could see the UNknown a few yards away, approaching us as if it was anxious.

Pew!

The mutant stammered after it was hit. Was that a laser beam?

Pew! Pew!

Two more blasts took the beast down, its crazed body landing with a noticeable thud that shook the Humvee.

As I faded out of consciousness a hairy person wearing furs came into view. I swear it was a caveman.

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Links to all chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten

Want to write a chapter of Mild Max? Let us know with a comment below and we will make it happen.

Welcome to day four of the historic Radioactive Liberty Climate Change Conference. If you are wondering why there was like a half-week break between the last presentation and now we have a good reason: our computers froze up.

Just like record lows that are hitting Cancun, the same is happening to the RL Climate Change SuperComputers. What can we say, must be the Al Gore effect?

(If you missed any of the past presentations or the Opening post links are at the end.)

Today’s presentation is another one by Les called:  “Bright Ideas To Stop Global Warming“.

Are CFL’s the brightest ideas we can come up with? Isn’t there anything more we can do?

In the slides you are about to see, we have narrowed the hundreds of ideas down to the best and the brightest…

Les- Actually, these ideas have come from some of the brightest people in the world, the presenters at the conference. No way could I have come up with anything that brilliant.

The only problem I see is the iron thing. Too much of it will cause constipation. That’s just what we need, a bloated, irritable, gassy bitch.

Fiar- They’re all brilliant ideas, but what I really want to know is, why is there a tree growing out of that guy’s… On second thought. I really don’t want to know. Apparently your gassy bitch is having her period.

Chris- I understand what the mirrors do, but what is the giant brush for? Is that a CO2 scrubber?

Les- No, it’s not a CO2 scrubber, but I like it. Think about it Chris, Mother Earth is a woman after all. And Fiar, you’re just crass.

This concludes our presentation. Feel free to leave your comments on this topic below.

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Past Conference Posts:

Opening

Presentation: Did Bush Cause Global Warming

Presentation: No Really Its Still Warming