Political Humor

In just over 4 years of blogging, I don’t think I have ever had an official comments policy listed on the site. As the site grows, I think it is time that I finally laid out some guidelines for commenting, that I will then add to the sidebar for easy reference.

First and foremost, this conservative humor and satire site is not in the public domain. It is my domain. I pay for it. It is not government (taxpayer) funded. You have exactly zero ownership of this site. It is my property.

This site is singular in it’s purpose and scope. It exists to amuse me. Furthermore, it is a political humor site. If you have no sense of humor, then this is probably the wrong place for you. Sometimes there are non-political humor items, and every once in a while, I will sprinkle in some straightforward political commentary, but mostly, it’s all humor and satire, which means many things get said for humorous effect, not because they are genuine, heartfelt positions on the issues. If this does not make sense to you, re-read the clause regarding no sense of humor.

I don’t have any delusions of persuading anyone to my point of view. I have found that the only people that are ever persuaded to change their mind on a position are the people that did not have a definitive point of view to begin with. All others simply go through life reinforcing their pre-existing beliefs and disregarding any and all evidence to the contrary.

Yes, that goes for me as well. In fact, I think it applies to everyone. And I will adamantly go through life seeking to reinforce that belief and disregard all data that indicates otherwise. This will then solidify my position that people don’t change their minds, thus proving me correct in my belief.

This blog is not a democracy. It is a brutal dictatorship where I rule with an iron fist. I have enlisted the support of a few fellow thugs to help fill out my insane tyrannical regime. There is Les James, who has a twisted and satirical view of the world, JumpOut who can inform you how not to get killed by the police – It just might save your life one day – and Chris Cameron, the best jack-of-all-trades humor writer I have ever read. I appreciate their contributions greatly, but their presence is still merely subject to my whims, and my own personal amusement.

So, when you leave a comment, there is one and only one standard by which it gets left unscathed, and unscarred by my lunatic dictatorship. That standard is the degree to which your comment amuses me. If it amuses me to edit your comment to make you look like a moron, that is exactly what I will do. In other cases I may decide to let your own inane attempt at communication stand to demonstrate that a wet towel is more intelligent than you are. The only factor that decides my action is my own fleeting moment of whimsy.

If this does not suit you, then by all means, go have your little tantrum. Soil your diaper and throw your teething ring in a fit of despair, crying about “censorship.” You are perfectly free to do so on one of your favorite sissy Liberal blogs. In fact, use links to point to examples of your mistreatment and oppression.

Do you think I’ve been writing this blog for 4 years because I give a s#1t what some opinionated cocknozzle thinks of me? If you do, you made a wrong turn somewhere into an alternate dimension. Hallucinogenic drugs can have a tendency to do that.

On a more serious note, here are a few things that are generally acceptable. Feel free to drop links in the comments. As long as it is not crap, and seems relevant to the content of the post, I will probably let it stand. This counts for links to commercial sites as well, so long as they adhere to the aforementioned standard of being not crap, and relevant to the content of the post.

Leave links to your own blogs that are related to the content and might be of interest to my visitors. It’s OK. I don’t mind. While some people think that you should buy them dinner, and invite them to your birthday party before you would ever deign to push a link towards yourself, I have no problem with it. You are too busy to become my friend before feeling comfortable with dropping links. Plus, I don’t want to be your friend. I’m an asshole, remember. Don’t let my aloofness fool you.

You can also use anchor text in the name field of the comments. For those that don’t know what this means, you can leave a comment as Bob’s Kitchen Appliances if you are linking to your kitchen appliances site. Based on the demographic of this site, and the niche it fills, it’s not very likely that my visitors will be interested in clicking through, but go ahead.

It would be much more likely that the visitors to this site would be likely to click through to Bob’s Comedy Emporium, but either way in the example, “Bob” is letting visitors know what to expect on the other side of the comment link. I consider this advance notice to be a user friendly practice, so I don’t mind.

Thus concludes my official comments policy. Go forth and enjoy amusing me. No, seriously. That’s an order.

More enjoyment! Or else! *shakes fist*