Political Humor

I have been giving much thought to our new president. The more he talks, and the more of himself he reveals, the more I think I can get on the Obama bandwagon.

When you’re in my line of work, you see things differently. Being exposed to so many different types of people in so many different situations opens your mind to different points of view. This open mindedness has caused me to arrive at a new conclusion.

Yes, I still believe President Obama is a communist. I still believe President Obama is trying to subvert the Constitution. I still believe President Obama is a totalitarian. It just seems my job has caused me to see the light.

Are you confused? You shouldn’t be. What better place to be the police than in a police state?

Think about it. You know you want me to have no constitutional restrictions to protect the criminals of this world. The next time I think I have a car thief holed up in a house based on third hand information, I won’t have to stand down because I don’t have a warrant. BAM! I kick in the door and, voila, one less criminal on the streets. What could possibly go wrong?

Have you ever called the police, only to be told there was nothing they could do because it was just your word against the other person’s? No more of that. Everybody will be satisfied with law enforcement response! Your neighbor threatened you? Well, it’s time for a smackdown!

You shouldn’t be worried that your neighbor will make false allegations against you. You’re innocent; you have nothing to worry about. This will be a brave new crime-free world!

Yes, I, for one, welcome our new totalitarian overlords. Since I’ll be the police, you have nothing to worry about. I will protect you. Good thing, too. What, with the President getting ready ban miscellaneous semi-automatic weapons, and shotguns with telescoping stocks, you’re going to need me.

If you want more JumpOut, he will be busy practicing violating your soon to be non-existent constitutional rights at his law enforcement humor blog, You Should be Tasered