Political Humor

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Anthony Sticks it to Glenn
or Weiner Looks for Buns

Hey boys and girls,
it’s the Anthony Weiner Song!
Grab your Weiner Whistles,
and join along!

To the old Oscar Meyer Balogna tune

Ohhhh, Mister Weiner has a first name
It’s A-N-T-H… O… N …Y
(Crap, that’s awkward)
Mr Wiener has a second name
It’s… mmm… W-E-I-N-E-R

Heeeee tries to screw Glenn everyday
and take-down Goldline so they say

‘Cus, Weiner thinks Beck has a way
to manipulate the entire world’s supply of gold, and is causing the price to dramatically rise through fear mongering -enriching himself- while making a huge sums of cash for his favorite com-pan-y

Maybe it still needs some work.

Get all the plumb, juicy news at Weinerfacts.com

From the Is This Too Obscure? File

Okay Chris C or Eric or someone, please explain it to those who don’t get it.

Arizona’s Racist Anti-Immigrant Law

First I want to disclose, just like so many of those who are criticizing Arizona’s illegal immigrant law, I haven’t read it. This in no way should be construed as a reason not to form an opinion and write about it. Just like our illustrious Attorney General, Eric Holder and Janet Napalitno, I’ve listened to CNN, MethNBC, et al, and now know everything I need to know. Actually I haven’t listened to ‘em, but who cares?

This is what I’ve figured out:

This law is unconstitutional, unfair and unPC. States don’t have the right to expect THE STATE to enforce it’s own laws.

All people with brown skin will be stopped, simply because of the way they look.

The All-White, Racist Arizona Police will demand their kind prove they are here legally.

Even if they have the proper ID, these noble people -only looking to do jobs American’s won’t do- will be treated as criminals until such time as these poor folks can prove they haven’t stolen the identity of a dead child.

This is going to be difficult from a windowless cell, with both their eyes swollen shut, jaws broken and getting water boarded twice a day, for no good reason other than the guards enjoyment.

Heavily armed Men in Black will raid Hispanic neighborhoods, under the cover of darkness, and snatch up young children. Just like Janet Reno did to Elian Gonzalez.

If these South of the Border Visitors don’t have papers, they will be sent to Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s desert concentration camp.

There to be beaten until both eyes swell shut, have their jaws broken and be water boarded, for no good reason. And that’s just during the orientation social.

Since they no longer look like any picture they may be able to produce, every illegal (or not) will be beaten again -for good measure- and deported.

Even if they came from Viet Nam, they’re going to Mexico.

Except French illegals. They’re going to be sent to Viet Nam. There’s lots of Viet Nam War Vets in Arizona. They haven’t forgotten. It’s a cold sort of justice, but still…

Thousands of Caucasians from the Grand Canyon State will line-up near a border town’s southern boundary. Tired, hungry, huddled masses of dirty, smelly, bloody Mexicans will then be chased by Dobermans back to where they came from, to the cheers of the Arizona mob, throwing rotten tomatillos.

I think I nailed it.

A Little Extra

Miss USA, Rima Fakah may have pole danced, but not like this.

The following was found crumpled on the floor after a recent White House Press Corpse Briefing. The source appears to be Robert Gibbs.

Note to self: Palin fits all her notes on her palm. Find pen that will write on mine. It’s too greasy from constantly jerking-off the public.

1. Situation in Gulf

Warm-up those brain-dead press sycophants with an opening statement.

The President wants the American people to know, he loves Black Folk. This is why he’s causing the wind to break-up the oil slick into small, Earth Friendly drops. Unlike George Bush, who steered Katrina into the Big Easy, and then blew-up the levees.

2. Oil Jokes.

Oil spill? What oil spill? More oil drips off of David Axelrod’s head every day then is leaking in the Gulf.

The BP leak is no crisis. If it where, Rahm Emanual wouldn’t be wasting it.

Speaking of British Petroleum, years ago Americans dumped English Tea into the waters of Boston Harbor. Now the Brits are dumping Texas Tea into our waters.

Don’t worry about the recent dip in the Stock Market. Pork futures are down. Is this mike on? Hello. Pending European bailouts of the P.I.G.S.? Portugal, Ireland, Greece, Spain? Pork futures? Get it?

Getting off oil topic humor: Who ever brought the Shar-Pei in here will have to… Oops, my mistake, it’s Helen Thomas. Sorry, Helen. Oh… no… Helen… please… don’t… walk… out.

3. Spin Doctoring the Muslim Times Square Bomber

The person arrested for the alleged car bombing attempt in Times Square, will now be known as the Guy Once Thought to be a Middle-Aged, White Male, or GOTMAWM for short. We’re pronouncing it Got Mom.

The Got Mom was obviously influenced by the Tea Party movement. His choice of car to blow-up says he hates foreigners, just like the Tea Baggers. The gasoline used in the failed bomb, is a symbol of the incendiary rhetoric used by these bigots, and the fireworks are a clear signal of just how the 4^th of July has been twisted into a call for open, bloody revolution.

The Justice Department, FBI, and Homeland Security are creating a joint task force to investigate everyone associated with this right-wing mob. We cannot allow people who have recently gained their US citizenship to be brainwashed into treasonous acts of wanton destruction and senseless violence. These Tea Bag Terrorist will be stopped.

4: Rednecks

The flooding in Tennessee is terrible, but the President wants the people of Nashville to know, he will take action soon. Soon as the Grand Ole Opry promises not to reopen.

5: Finish-up

In conclusion, currently your Government is not doing everything it can for you, But we’re working on it. It’s just going to take a bit more sacrifice on everyone’s part. Remember, when it comes to your hard earned money, we take it… seriously. 

Take no questions. Go smoke a bowl with VP.

Astute Observation of the Day

What makes BP think that putting a dome over the well will contain anything? We put a dome over Congress years ago.