Political Humor

What do Sarah Palin, Waterloo, Joe Biden’s big mouth, President Obama’s bus, Valley Girls, Ozzie, abortion, Jimmy Carter, and a host of other references have in common? How the hell should I know? I just wrote this disjointed post.

And All The People Say, “He’s Pretty Fly For A Half-White Guy”

Come-on, we voted the male equivalent of a Valley Girl, or Pauly Shore, into the highest office in the world. For sure, he’s young, good looking, clean and articulate (same as a Valley Girl, not Pauly) so like, what did you expect?

You take away the teleprompter and he turns into Potsie Webber, and Obama Care is going to be his jump the shark moment.  Yeah, I know that was Fonzie. Still, these might yet end up being your’s and my Happy Days.

Really, did anyone actually believe Obama was going to be the answer to any question other than boxers or briefs? And do we really want to know? I’m leaning toward thong. There’s certainly something wedged in there.

He Sliding In To A Burning Ring Of Fire

No way was his Rock Star status going to last. Even sheeple demand a little more substance in their leaders, and a little less of a TV celebrity with stupid ideas. I wonder how Obama feels to be lower in the popularity polls than Jimmy Carter, at this point in his presidency? Once you reach the top of the political ladder there’s only one way to go. We can only hope he goes there quickly. Many have been willing to give Barack implicit, if not explicit, directions to that destination for some time.

Anyone know the melting point of polyester?

And could I be any more cliche?

Yep. Or as Sarah Palin would say, “You betcha”.

You Put Your Left Foot In. You Take Left Your Foot Out.

Just when I thought that Joe Biden was the one who had soggy feet from having them constantly in his mouth, the President begins to swap Wingtips. Here are a couple of his latest.

Senator Jim DeMint, (Republican), “If we’re able to stop Obama on this (Obama Care), it will be his Waterloo”. Obama countered with, “Let me tell you something, I’m from Chicago. I don’t break.” Insert “Huh?” here.

Oh wait, I get it.

Chicago, Hog Butcher for the World. I suppose he’s right in one way, pork doesn’t break. But pigs do, when they’re in the form of a bank, and isn’t that what we’re actually talking about? Insert foot here.

What this comes down to is historical perspective. Waterloo didn’t work out so badly for the Duke of Wellington and Gerhard von Blucher, but Obama jumps right to the conclusion that he’s Napoleon in this scenario. Like we should expect anything else from him. Bonaparte was short in stature, while Obama is short in other areas. Insert your favorite area here.

Just the other day, at a press conference, President Barack Obama (Fascist), said that the Cambridge police “acted stupidly” in arresting Henry Louis Gates, Jr, a good friend of his… oh, and Harvard professor.  The same guy who reportedly told Sgt Crowley (the arresting officer) something like, I’ll talk to yo mama outside. Obama admitted he was flapping his gums before he even knew all of those pesky “facts”. Insert other foot here.

It was matter of the Pres using common sense. Hehehe, that was a joke. When you open your mouth in front of cameras -without first checking the “facts”- you stand to look like a dump ass. Mission accomplished. Insert your favorite pejorative here.

Watching Obama’s daily televised speeches are more fun than midget tossing. The next day he tossed Gates under the bus. It must be getting crowed under there. What with his racist white grandmother, his racist black pastor, everyones favorite terrorist, and a former governor with great hair, all vying for tread time. Insert your favorite moonbat here.

Going Off The Rails On This Crazy Train

In a rare lucid moment, Ozzie will re-release Mr Crowley, from his break-out Blizzard of Oz album. He has written new, updated lyrics. Here’s a taste:

Sgt. Crowley, you got in over your head
(Oh) Sgt. Crowley, Gates will twist what you said
Your life will be turn outside in
By a press corps
That’ll make your words spin
(Yeah) Then wait and see how much more

Recording is scheduled for whenever Ozzie can find his way to the studio.

Doctor, Doctor Please

Dr. Regina Benjamin- the President’s pick for Surgeon General- may not even be able to get health care under the Obama plan. Why? Because she just doesn’t take care of herself like he says she should. I guess you have to take the fat away from dumb in order to be treated by Obama’s doctors. Happy left this party a long time ago.

In related news (that doesn’t involve Michael Jackson -who by the way, is dead) A fantastic new engine has been developed, called the Cyclone. It will be able use any biomass as fuel.  Under Universal Health Care, abortions will get paid for, but treating the elderly won’t. Can you say,*Oilent Green? I thought you could.

See, Joe Biden can be upstaged.

*Oilent Green will be used in all Cyclone engine powered vehicles from Obama Motors, starting in 2011.