Political Humor

Fox: Welcome to Are You Smarter Than A Democrat? I’m your host Fox Worthy. Tonight we have Mrs. Gretta Jones from Phoenix, Arizona. Gretta is a housewife and mother of three, who was never interested in politics until this past year. She credits her next door neighbor with turning her on to Glenn Beck. Gretta is now a registered Independent and attends Tea Parties.

She’ll be playing against this week’s Unknown Democrat Senator. As usual -to conceal their identity- the Senator will have his or hers voice run through a filter and will wear an empty money bag over the head. The symbolism of which is always lost on them. So let’s get started and find out… Gretta, Are You Smarter Than A Democrat? The Senator won the coin toss, so…

Senator: I’ll take 5^th Grade Math for $100, Alex. And let’s make it a true Daily Double.

Fox: Ah, Senator, you do realize this isn’t Jeopardy, right?

Senator: Why yes I do, and that’s my final answer.

Fox: Okay then… 5^th Grade Math it is. Senator, how many zeros are there in One Trillion?

Senator: I never learned that in 5^th Grade, it’s a trick question.

Fox: It’s not a trick. As difficult as it is to believe, there is such a number as One Trillion.

Senator: I’m telling you, there’s no such thing as a Trillion. It’s just made up. That’s why we always keep our estimates of the cost of any program just below that imaginary figure.

Fox: Is that your answer?

Senator: No. No, ah… my answer is…is… it doesn’t matter, zeros are just place holders. So…er…mmm… they don’t actually represent real money.

Fox: Oh, so sorry Senator. Gretta what’s your answer?

Gretta: Too frikkin’ many!

Fox: Yup, you’re right, too frikkin’ many. Senator, your next question is about illegal immigration. How many illegal immigrants are there in the United States?

Senator: African or European? Except the Africans. And certainly you’re not asking about those hard working Latinos, who are doing the jobs Americans won’t do? That would make you a racist.

Fox: I see where this is heading, and Homey don’t play dat. Gretta?

Gretta: Too frikking many!

Fox: Correct again. Gretta, it’s pretty obvious you’re smarter than the Senator, so let’s just pass ‘em over and give you a crack at the next…

Senator: What? Are you trying to vote me off the island? I won’t stand for it. Circle gets the Square. I wanna to use a Street Shout-out. What is, the migratory patterns of farm animals. I didn’t want to turn into a Family Feud. Sometimes things just happen. I thought she was over 18. It was consensual, I tell you…

Fox: Wow. Looks like the Senator has Spun the Wheel, and like the country, has come up bankrupt. Gretta are you ready to risk it all and go for the win?

Gretta: Darn straight. Let’s do this.

Fox: I love your attitude. Okay, it’s a two part question. First, tell me how many Democrats and RINOs are holding public offices, and second, what if anything, are you going to do about ‘em?

Gretta: Too frikkin’ many, and vote those SOBs right out!

Fox: Ah… I’m so sorry but you’re… RIGHT! Congratulations. Now there’s just one thing left to do. Look right in the camera. Now Gretta, what do you want to say to America?

Gretta: My name is Gretta Jones. I may just be a housewife and mother of three from the suburbs, but I Am Smarter Than A Democrat!

Fox: From all of us here, goodnight everybody, and may all your tea be sweet.

Credits

Fox Worthy – Himself

Gretta Jones – Herself

Unknown Dem Sen – Arlen (act like a lady) Specter

This has been a Filmways Presentation, Dahling

Yeah Arizona!

Before we get into today’s post, I’d like to thank the good people of Arizona for having the audacity to vote for a Bill that says that illegal means illegal. Immediately after Gov. Jan Brewer signed the Bill, Obama directed the Justice Department to look at the constitutionality of checking the status of  Europeans, Asians, and those pesky Canadians. Of course the Bronze People can stay here, since according to La Raza and MEChA, it’s their country anyway. The question is, why is Obama concerned with the Constitution now?

Their Chickens Have Come Home to Roost

Barack Hussein Obama lobes verbal grenades toward his foes, while All the President’s Men lay down suppressive slander from their stretched limos and private jets. Meantime, the MSM continues to play ventriloquist dummies for the Administration. And what are they all spewing? Lies, Rumors, Innuendos, Falsehoods, and Fear Mongering.

At first I was upset, but now I see just how much fun it can be. So, I got this idea… Wouldn’t it be a blast to make-up all kinds of outrageous rumors, and fire them right back at these bomb throwers?

Here’s my Top 10 Washington Humors:

Harry Reid shaves his legs, and has a tattoo on his butt that says I ❤ Slick Willie. Well, actually it’s backwards. He did it himself, using a mirror. He got the idea from Barney Frank.

Rahm Emanuel has a signed picture of Ronald Reagen hanging over his bed, and it has lipstick kisses on the glass…his.

Chucky Schumer is the president of the Pauly Shore fan club. Once Chucky invited the “actor” over to his house to see his very own Bio-Dome. That was too weird, even for Pauly.

Barbara Boxer was at a costume party last Halloween. She was dressed as a dog, and went around the room sniffing butts and crotches. Must be something in the name. Strangely, no one thought is was odd.

Chris Dodd was at the same party. He wasn’t wearing a dog costume, but was still seen lifting his leg on the Kool Aid fulled punch bowl. By the end of the evening, the bowl was empty.

Nancy Polosi is a power crazed, cold-hearted, Botox’ed bitch. Oops, I forgot. This was suppose to be a rumor.

In the office of White House Propagandist, Robert Gibbs, all the  snapshots of happy family members, sitting on his desk, are pictures he stole from Republican Congressional offices.

Joe Biden wears Dora the Explorer pajamas, that have sewn in feet, and a button-up flap in the rear. He can’t seem to keep the flap fastened, so he’s constantly showing his ass.

Henry Waxman pays to be dominated by a Sarah Palin look alike.

Michelle Obama as taken to wearing a chastity belt. She’s found out what’s in Obama Care, and Cap and Trade. Barack won’t allow a baby to burden his vision of his girl’s future. Michelle won’t allow baby to be burdened with Barack’s vision of the future.

Well, I’ve shown you mine, it’s your turn to show me yours.

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