Political Humor

Brews at the White House.  Obama, Biden and Gates pick at their nuts.  Crowley bravely faces this “teachable moment”.

The recent Suds and Duds Beer Fest at the White House raised the ugly specter of Racial Profiling to the forefront of the American Consciousness, again. (Actually it was Obama’s Black Panther styled, racist remarks that caused the whole problem in the first place, but we’re not supposed to say that. Shhhhh.) This is sarcasm.

In the interest of National Security and spurred on by the ever increasing threat from society’s majority, the Department of Homeland Security has taken decisive action. They released a computer program. That’ll fix it. This is sarcasm too.

The majority being defined as, dangerous, chick digging, white males between the ages of 18 and 65, that aren’t poor trailer trash, crips or tards, (’cause everyone else is a minority) who continue to point fingers at protected class minority citizens, laugh, make non-PC jokes, say mean spirited and hurtful things about them, or worse, to them. This is the ugly truth in the form of a joke.

Author’s Note:

Since I qualify, hitting all points of  the above criteria, I can say what I want about the majority. But, if you aren’t a member of this disreputable, world dominating group, keep your fucking mouth shut and opinions about us to yourself, or I’ll put a size 13 boot up your minority ass. This is a threat.

It’s a middle-class, white guy thing. You wouldn’t understand. This is satire, or possibly parody.I’m willing to entertain your opinions on this. That’s because I’m enlightened, tolerant, a really nice guy, that and I’ve been taking pointers from Fiar.

What? Give a Politically Correct apology for my Absolutely Correct analyses?

My left ball I will -which sits next to it’s twin and hangs beneath something else The Messiah doesn’t possess (despite what the opening title said). This may well be true. And even if it’s not, I’m going to keep saying it.

If you were at all offended by this, good. It makes my point all that more salient. The reason I continue to bring up Obama’s half white, half black roots, is because he’s made an issue of it. This gives me not only permission, but a license to satire. Practically a mandate. Personally, I couldn’t give a shit less about someone’s color, gender, religious preference, creed, etc, etc,etc. I’m an American. Nothing in front of it, and if that not good enough for you too, go back where you came from. But ask your mother’s permission first. I gotta think that would hurt, a lot. This is just sick and not very funny.

DHS Computer program replaces sketch artist

Have you seen this person of interest? If you have, please notify the jackbooted, Brown Shirts at ACORN or DHS and get one Carbon Credit or an extra week’s, lifesaving treatment for an aging relative. Offer expires with the relative. Now that’s funny.

In spite of the fact that we are subversive conservative Right Wing Extremists, Les and I feel that it is our civic duty to show a bit of balance in our reporting. As a result, we have crafted together some propaganda posters for the President Obama and his administration. By “We” I mean Les. For educational purposes, we will show you the original we (i.e. Les) derived it from.

What was once a message to ensure victory against the Nazis is now a message to anyone that does not worship his lord and savior, Obama.

Under Hitler, organized religion was the enemy, under the Obama Administration, our returning veterans are the enemy.

Why ride with Hitler when you can ride with 46 of your closest friends? You wouldn’t rather ride with Hitler would you? You might be a terrorist.

I’m certain that you all feel warm fuzzies and waves of happiness about President Obama now. Unless you are a terrorist.

We wrote all the text. By “We” I mean Fiar.

If Janeane Garofalo says you’re a redneck, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever gone to a park and didn’t hug a tree, you might be a terrorist.

If you don’t think that abortion is a better form of contraception than a condom, you might be a terrorist.

If Paul Begala believes you’re a wimpy, whiny, weasel, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever served your country as a member of the armed forces, you might be a terrorist.

If you’re a guy and have never tea bagged another guy or visa versa, you might be a terrorist.

If you think that 535 lobotomized, white lab rats would have a better grasp on reality than Congress, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever gone into the woods to drink a couple of beers and plink some cans, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever been in a church that didn’t slam America, and it wasn’t because either someone was getting married or died, you might be a terrorist.

If you think Bill Ayers is a terrorist, you might be a terrorist.

If you agree with Robert Frost that good fences make good neighbors, you might be a terrorist.

If you have a four-wheel drive truck parked on your front lawn, you might be a terrorist.

If you think that burning an American flag somehow doesn’t contribute to global warming, you’re just a totally screwed-up moonbat. Oops, how’d that get in there?

If you think government, like spandex clothing, should not come in XXL, you might be a terrorist.

If you don’t think Obama can walk on water while simultaneously reading Open Veins Of Latin America, you might be a terrorist.

If you know your ass from a hole in the ground, no doubt about it, you are a terrorist.

Now it’s your turn.  Just fill in the blank with your own funny phrase: If _______________, you might be a terrorist.

I think Jeff Foxworthy would approve.