Political Humor

Hang on one second. I mean “Robert Gibbs is a Douche” in the nicest way possible. Please give me a chance to explain, before you head off to the comments section, to slam me for calling the President’s Press Secretary a derogatory term.

Thank you. See how nice conservatives are?

We first have to look at what a douche is -it’s a product used to deodorize a certain part of the anatomy.  I thought all douches were made for a gender specific purpose. I was wrong. While doing a little research for this post, I discovered there are douches out there designed so both men and women can enjoy a clean, fresh feeling -in a place a little farther back. Try to get that image out of your mind.

Anyway, back to why Robert Gibbs is a douche. His job is to take whatever hole President Obama has gotten himself into, and make it smell better. Gibbs has been handed an awful lot of nasty assignments, but he does his best to make that part of the body politic as fragrant as roses. There’s a joke in here about Bush… Best to let it go.

Personally, I think Gibbs is doing a bang-up job, and deserves a big round of clap for his efforts.

But it not just Gibbs that’s a douche. Anyone who goes about telling the public that what they’re smelling in Washington is success, falls into the same category.

This makes Vice President Joe Biden a douche too. Likewise, the President’s advisers Rahm Emanuel and David Axelrod are both douches. Janet Napolitano is a big douche. Little Timmy Geithner, douche. The Award Winning Democrat Congress, yep, douches. Plus all of the Main Stream Media, every labor union boss, some religious leaders, a butt-load of lobbyist, a bunch of Wall Street types, and several CEOs and boards of bailed-out companies are all douches. The list goes on, and on, and…

We’re surrounded by douches!

Correctly give the number of times the word douche or its plural shows up in this post, and win absolutely nothing. FIAR gets pissed-off when I give away stuff. What a douche.

Les James runs a Douche Free Zone at both Sideshow Mirrors and Mild Max.

In only six months, President Barack Hussein Obama has provided more political humor than I ever thought possible. The problem is, most of this material is not LOL funny, it’s more groaners. It’s in that spirit, Radioactive Liberty proudly presents:

Penultimately Bad Obama Jokes and Funny Pictures

Why penultimately? Because I’m sure he’ll just keep dishing-up stuff I can lampoon -at least one more time. Yeah, you’re right. If I can do this type of post more than one time in the future, I suppose it’s not really the next to last. Still, it is a catchy title.

The Sun Never Sets On The Chosen One

Yes, he only has one arm, but so does a slot machine. And like a one-armed bandit, he takes your money, you take your chances, and the odds are about as good.

Obama Q And A

Q: Why did Senator Arlen Specter cross the aisle?

A: To get to the Obama side.

Q: What’s black and white and red all over?

A: Obama.

Q: Hey, did you hear that Obama’s Aunt Zeituni is getting deported?

A: Yeah, they’re sending her back to Hawaii.

Spinin’ The Oldies

Q: You see Obama riding a bike along the road. Why don’t you swerve and hit him?

A: It’s probably your bike.

Q: What’s black and brown and would look good on Obama?

A: A Doberman.

Q: Obama and a snake are laying on a Red State road. How can you tell which one’s the snake?

A: It has skid marks in front of it.

The Naked Truth

Looks like something Seth Green would come up with for Robot Chicken.

Fiar’s Contribution To Q And A

Q: What do you see when you look into Obama’s eyes?

A: The back of his head.

Q: What do Obama and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do you tell an Obama with two black eyes?

A: Nothing. He’s already been told twice.

Q: What do you get when you offer Obama a penny for his thoughts?

A: Change.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?

A: Obama.

Q: What did the left nut say to the right nut?

A: Obama.

Etc

I heard Obama got a brain transplant and the brain rejected him.

Obama’s so clumsy he got tangled up in a cordless phone

I Am The Acorn King

How The Left Truly Sees Us

KKK Clansman Radical Nazi Mobster, Racist Protester: “I hear Obama’s well-hung.”

White Supremacist Tea-bagging, Rabid Evil-Monger Protester: “Yeah, he can’t get a finger in between his neck and the rope!”

A Little Too Far?

Before you go all ballistic, I still contend that Obama is white -other than Hispanic- ’cause he’s only half black. So that makes him just another white bread, liberal elitist, (with a George Hamilton tan) and therefore nothing new or special. Except in a short bus sense. You know, the one he throws his friends and relatives under.

The Economy

Things are really tough at Michelle and Barack’s.

How tough are they?

They’re so tough that Barack can’t even hope to spare some change for his half-brother George.

Barack at the dinner table:  “Girls, eat everything on your plates. You have relatives starving in Africa.”

Obama Care

Obama, the Pope and a Dirty Hippie walk into a bar. Obama says, “Ouch! Quick, someone get me the best team of doctors in the world, and I don’t care how much it cost or how many test it takes!”

Obama Does Stand-up

“Come on, I won’t cut off your granny’s health care, just her life support.”

Pa-dum-dum

“Hello! Is anyone out there? No, really. I can’t tell with these compact florescent bulbs.”

Silence

“Don’t worry about Obama Care. I’m going to treat you like family.”

Pa-dum-dum

“The Second Amendment? Of course I support Michelle’s right to bare arms.”

Pa-dum-dum

“What, these jokes are killing you? Take a pill.”

Pa-dum-dum

“But seriously folks, just because your visiting this political humor blog, doesn’t mean you’re on an “Enemies of the State List” or somethin’.”

Crickets chirp

“Hey, I’ll be here for the next 8-10 years! Er, more like 7 and a half to, ah, nine and a half, or umm… Where’s my frikkin’ teleprompter? Dammit, I need a beer and a cigarette!”

Here at the home for the planet’s best political humor Radioactive Liberty we have often made fun of President Barack Obama’s lack of intelligence, his lack for avoiding a bucket being stuck on his head, and his policies.

One thing we have never made fun of is his sexual appeal because frankly he doesn’t have any. The guy wears mom jeans after all.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

So it stands to reason that Obama is no Bill Clinton when it comes to the hooking-up aspect that sometimes comes with being the President.

Clinton was a womanizer, and it is on record. Not only did he face numerous charges of sexual aggressiveness throughout his political career, to put it mildly, but he also had oral sex with the famous intern Monica Lewinsky while occupying the White House.

Allegedly of course, depending on the definition of sexual relations, cigars and Altoids be damned.

So what is the big deal if our Grand Poobah likes to check out the derriere of women he comes into contact with? Is this not to be expected from a man who’s been married for decades?

I know, thanks to TMZ, the mainstream media made sure to dissect the video behind this picture like it was the Zapruder film in an effort to defend the fact that Obama was not checking out the ass of a minor.

He was after all looking back and to the left.

But then there is this picture:

Is this the second photographer on the grassy knoll? Whoever it is, we can easily surmise that Obama like to ogle.

On a side note, France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy has the “hey what do we have here”look on his face in both pictures and nobody is calling him out.

So what is wrong with an ass-check? Is it a bad thing? It is not like every guy has not been caught with a wandering eye at some point in their life.

Kirk Douglas, who is like 106 years old was recently caught on camera checking out his daughter-in-law Catherine Zeta-Jones’ cleavage.

This is a man who has not seen a firm set of breasts since World War I and nobody is getting on his case. Yet we bash our President for checking out a woman’s ass.

Two asses in fact

At least our President is doing the right thing, checking out the backside of women without being disrespectful to the point of a lawsuit or an impeachment, despite the fact the cameras were recording the moment for posterity.

This is more than anyone can say for Bill Clinton. Like or dislike Obama’s policies, at least he is not a sexual predator. Our President is simply like the rest of us when it comes to checking out the ladies.

A fine ass is something to be admired, not be ashamed of, no matter what side of the political fence you reside on.

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Chris Cameron writes this column in addition to his weekly RL Political Humor Quick Hits column here at the home for the Planet’s best political humor. You can also read his own take on general humor at Angry Seafood as well as his serious political blog Clearly Political.