Political Humor

Whenever you have political conventions there are always ‘Perk Packs’, extras a donor can receive if they of course give extra money to the political party. For example, at this year’s DNC, for a donation of just $250,000 or more you get first consideration for booking rooms along with:

“…special invites to private events with Colorado governor Bill Ritter, Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, US Senator Ken Salazar and other Democratic elected officials.”

Who says you need alcohol at a Democratic National Convention when guys named Hickenlooper are entertaining you? Man, that Ken Salazar, he just lights up the room. Jenga anyone?

Then there is this one:

“$10 million- The Lewinsky Special, includes exclusive suite directly behind the stage area, complimentary Altoid Mints and cigars, and intern of your choice.
$10- The Lewinsky Ghetto Special, includes hand job by Monica Lewinsky in a private alley behind the Pepsi Center.”

I think I like the Eliot Perk Pack much better. More economical.

“$5,000- The Spitzer Soirée, includes a hotel room with a heart-shaped tub and a high-priced call girl from the local area.
$5- A hooker who spits. Hotel room not provided. “

Speaking of economics here is one for you Green fans out there:

“$6,000- Save on Energy Deluxe Package, includes rider passes good for five years on Amtrak.
$6- Save on Energy Bronze Package, includes a tire pressure gauge. “

On second thought maybe it was a good idea to ban alcohol sales at the Pepsi Center this week. There is no telling what the combination of liquor and prescription drugs will do to a group of moonbats that large. Look what happened in 1968.

The Republican National Convention has similar offerings with luxury seating and tickets to exclusive conservative events as well as some interesting Perk Packs of their own:

“$1,000- Your own bathroom in the Pepsi Center, including room for a wide stance.
$10- An hour with Larry Craig. “

If you are a sportsman, here are a couple of Perk Packs for you:

“$5 Million- Quail hunting with Dick Cheney.
$5- Cougar Hunting with 17-year-old RNC Delegate Kyle Westlake.”

Dinner dates also seem to be big on the RNC side:

“$2 Million Dinner with George Bush, includes all the Texas BBQ you can eat.
$20- Dinner with Mike Huckabee, includes all the fried squirrel you can eat.”

One thing is for sure, unlike the DNC, the St. Paul gathering of Republicans will need a lot of alcohol to combat the boredom. They don’t have Dennis Kucinich after all.

Yup, excellent idea going with the alcohol ban at the Democratic National Convention.

Chris Cameron writes this weekly political humor column here every Thursday. You can also read his odd form of funny at his humor blog, Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com doesn’t have Perk Packs but they do have funny blogs.

Everyone complained about the primary scheduling but did anyone notice the six weeks of no elections whatsoever? Did the DNC and the RNC not consider us bloggers and political humor columnists? What the hell are we going to write about?

Some are trying to come up with good fodder for us. This week President Bush is drumming up the positives about the Iraq War as we hit the five-year mark Wednesday.

Cheney is still claiming Hussein had something to do with 911. McCain is busy confusing which terrorist regime is funding/backing whom, which seems like just an argument in academia.

But this is simply more rehashed and recycled news stories.

I will buy the excuse that maybe the political media scene is worn-out from the craziness lately and could use a break. An asshole Democrat Governor’s penchant for whores sank his dreams of living in the White House. A Presidential candidate tells us that having racist friends is alright as long as you don’t believe in the rhetoric.

So that begs the question: do racists have friends and are there a lot of excuses made for awful behavior?

Joseph Goebbels (to a friend): “You know Adolph isn’t really a bad guy, he’s just misunderstood.”
Friend: “He wants to kill the Jews.”
Goebbels: “He was just kidding about the killing thing. That Hitler, what a minx!”

No elections for six weeks also means the Global Warming alarmists have more room to push their warnings the planet is on fire. These days they tell us that glaciers are melting all over the world. They know this because they studied thirty out of 100,000 total ice packs.

I didn’t know they hired Nielsen Media Research to do their surveys.

What did they do, send a diary and a ruler to thirty people that lived near a glacier? I wouldn’t be surprised if this is close to the actual experiment procedure. It would make sense since the scientists can’t figure out why the oceans aren’t warming like the fancy computer models predicted.

So this is what we have to look forward to for the next six weeks? Wake me up when it’s time for the next primary.

Or when Larry Craig resurfaces in a restroom somewhere.

Every Thursday, Chris Cameron writes this weekly political humor drivel most would find offensive and crude yet funny and topical. Who knew? You can read his other works of the humor variety at Angry Seafood.

Humor-blogs.com causes Global Warming because you won’t go there to read funny blogs.