Political Humor

President Obama’s choice for Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner has been taking some heat for tax evasion, but I have a different take on his tax fraud. In this political editorial I will explain why I applaud President Obama for choosing Timothy Geithner to head the Treasury Department.

According to reports, Geithner “failed to pay self-employment taxes for money he earned from 2001 to 2004 while working for the International Monetary Fund.” Although many have criticized his minor oversight, I believe that Geithner is just the kind of person that we need in charge of our money. President Obama has made a shrewd choice in selecting this American Patriot to this important government office.

Although Obama said that campaign slogans “need to be more than just election sloganeering,” (campaign slogans also make great post-election merchandise), it is clear that with his nod toward Geithner that President Obama does not, in fact, plan to spread the wealth around. And Timothy Geithner is the hired gun to make damn sure that doesn’t happen. The Treasury Secretary in waiting understands that his money is HIS money and not the government’s money. This is one of the core principles of conservatism. In fact, our country was founded upon a stubborn refusal to pay taxes.

Sure, you have to pay your taxes, but Geithner is rich and privileged and you’re not.. As this nation’s Presidential lineage has shown, we as a people like to be led by the rich and privileged. In fact, it is often the only real standard we hold our elected representative to.

Vice President Joe Biden once declared that paying higher taxes is patriotic. I find that as a general measuring stick, looking at what Democrats declare to be patriotic, and reversing it is a good rule of thumb for determining what is actually patriotic. So if the Vice President thinks that paying higher taxes is patriotic, we can logically assume that paying lower taxes is actually patriotic. Ergo, paying no taxes is Super Duper Patriotic™. This puts Timothy Geithner in an exclusive class of Super Duper Patriotic™ Americans.

To be fair, I do have one little beef with Geithner. He paid two of the four years worth of taxes he refused to pay, and that makes me feel a little sour about his leadership abilities. That’s OK. It was merely a moment of weakness. I understand that he is only human, unlike Obama, and therefore flawed, unlike Obama. However, I can still respect the man, because he managed to weasel his way into getting reimbursed for the taxes he refused to pay.

I salute Timothy Geithner, and I salute President Obama on his choice for Secretary of the Treasury.

Vic W has a poll asking whether tax cheat Timothy Geithner should be US Treasury Secretary. The poll is in the sidebar. I’m sure he would appreciate if you clicked through and took the poll.

John McCain is dangerous for America. He will rape the Earth, eat your baby, and send the Death Star to destroy the world. He also hates black people.

John McCain is a war monger. According to certified idiot, Pat Buchanan – Who has never held a credible opinion in his life – John McCain “will make Hitler look like Ghandi.” Actually, he said Cheney, not Hitler, but we already know that the difference there is trivial.

John McCain hates foreigners. Sure he favors amnesty for illegal immigrants, but he doesn’t even know any foreign languages, just like typical embarassing Americans. When Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. John McCain doesn’t even know what “Merci beaucoup” means in Spanish. Obama may have his head stuck in a bucket, but at least he knows that much.

John McCain wants to see women punished with childbirth. He wants to take the tender, succulent babies and eat them with A1 steak sauce. A1, yeah. It’s that important. He will take the tougher, stringier babies and send them off to die in Iraq. We look to this MoveOn.Org video where a distressed and confused mother is holding her baby, and feeding it drano. She’s terrified that John McCain will take her baby away. She even breaks into a Ramones song parody.

John McK-K-Kain took my baby away. He took him away. Away from me. John McK-K-Kain took my baby away. He took my boy. He took my baby away.

See the terror that is inflicted when people are punished with babies? John McCain is a terrorist.

John McCain wants to kill Iranians with cigarettes. That’s not even efficient. We all know that Global Warming is going to kill us all in the next 6 months, or 6 millenia. The difference there is trivial. We should kill the Iranians with SUVs and LCD screen TVs.

Wait! No. We shouldn’t kill the Iranians at all. We should hand deliver them scones and missiles, and apologize profusely for being ignorant Americans that don’t even know what “Merci beaucoup” means in their native tongue. That’s what Barack Obama will do.

John McCain doesn’t even have a detailed plan for the impending global climate crisis. Has he proposed any floating lilly pad cities? No. He seems to be of the opinion that we should just let global warming kill ‘em all and let Gaia sort them out. In fact, he scored a 0 — yes, zero — from the League of Conservation Voters last year.

Obama will impose rations, raise gas taxes to unaffordable rates, and stop people from being punished with babies, which will lower consumption further.

John McCain is a threat to America and the American way of life. Whether your baby is tender and succulent, or tough and stringy, it is imperative to their future that we keep John McCain out of office.

Yeah. It’s that important.

I’m John McCain and I approve this Walmart.

McCain Walmart greeter photoshop by Les, just for Chris.

Humor-Blogs.com knows Obama Spanish. That’s the one where “Merci beaucoup” isn’t French.

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The political roundtable continues with the greatest minds conservative politics has ever seen, or ever will see. This week we take a look at whether or not polar bears should be put on the endangered list.

Les: I don’t believe they’re actually endangered… yet. Just wait until this 10-12 years of global cooling kicks in. Icebergs floating around the Jersey shoreline, littered with hungry bears looking for seals. East coast pimps will demand their white fur coats. That’s the problem that I foresee. Let Greenpeace step in front of that group.

Chris: Polar Bears > Inuit. If I were them I would train polar bears to attack and kill moonbats. Then bring the animals down to Oregon where they can go nuts and bite hippies’ faces. It will be like a Native American Sherman’s March against stupidity and liberalism.

Of course the Democrats will counter with a casino plan to appease the Inuit.

Fiar: You may think you would do some pretty crazy things for a Klondike bar, but a polar bear will rip your head off and sh*t down your neck. Then it will poke out your eyes and skull f*ck you. Then it will take your Klondike bar.

And will Greenpeace be there to help? Help hold your disembodied head, maybe. No, there will be no good times at the casino for you. Thanks to the protected polar bear.

No Klodike bar either.

What do you think? Should polar bears be put on the endangered list?

Humor-Blogs.com is giving away free Klondike Bars.