Political Humor

Unlike the Republican primary, the Democrat Primary remains a hotly contested race between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. The two Democrat candidates are neck and neck to the finish. At this point there is no clear winner.

Barack Obama – Change is Good

I attribute this to our own endorsement of Barack Obama. It’s obvious to anyone with even minimal intelligence that the vast and awesome power of this Political Humor site has turned the tide of the 2008 election in Obama’s favor.

Barack Obama’s campaign of promising to offer exact change for small purchases really strikes a chord with the American people. Americans generally agree that cashiers should be capable of basic money handling skills, and Obama has made change the focal point of his campaign.

Hillary Clinton has not been nearly as successful with her slogan, “I’ll gladly pay you Super Tuesday for a hamburger today.”

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Hillary Clinton has the burgers, but Humor-Blogs.com has the special sauce.

Barack Obama has been officially endorsed by Radioactive Liberty as the 2008 Presidential candidate. That revelation is missing something however. It is important that our readers know who to not vote for as well.

That man is John McCain who I officially non-endorse for President and this is why.

John McCain has had cancer issues

This may seem unfair, but hear me out. We all know someone who has battled the disease and the physical and mental toll it takes. How the hell can someone deal with that and be President?

I can see it now…

“Sir, it’s Iran again.”
“God Damn it. Ok, put them through.”
“Listen Mr. Aja-I don’t care what your name is, I just had a chemo session and I’ve already puked five times this morning so your deal to avoid sanctions better be f^^king good.”

John McCain is a white male

It just isn’t trendy to elect a white male anymore. People are into ethnicity these days, and different kinds of genders, like transsexuals and metrosexuals. The Democrats love those two groups, by the way, because of their indecisiveness inability to deal with the fact that they are homosexual. It’s easy to sway someone’s opinion when their own sense of self worth is all across the board.

This is why John McCain sounds like a Democrat. He’s trying to position himself as ethnic and hip to pander to the votes of minorities.

John McCain is really old

Maybe it is a testament to the fact we live longer. As our life expectancy has increased so has the age of our leaders. Back in the ancient world, countries and governments were run by teenagers. Imagine a bratty sixteen-year-old with anger issues as President and you can see why history is so full of wars and conflict. But you don’t want to go too far to the other end of the age scale either.

John McCain was in The ‘Nam

I saw Apocalypse Now and Full Metal Jacket. People did a lot of drugs over there in the Vietnam War and a lot of Vets are nuts, thanks to the lack of mental health help from the government. They fought a war that was so messed-up even the name was weird: a ‘conflict’. It also didn’t help getting treated like a losing soccer team when they finally came home.

For all we know, McCain could suddenly snap at a press conference yelling something about some guy named Charlie coming to get us. Then he grabs one of the secret service agent’s guns and runs into the closet.

So this election, vote with your heart and if you have to pick a man with the letters j-o-h-n-m-c-c-a-i-n in the name at least write-in this guy…

Chris Cameron writes this guest post of political humor every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty and also assorted oddities for his own blog, Humor by Angry Seafood.

Humor-blogs.com does not even know who’s running for President. But you can vote for the funniest blogs. Not really but go there anyways.

Yes, I know it’s actually John McClane that was the Die Hard character, but that’s just how we roll at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. Yippee Kay-ay motherf^^ker.

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Super Tuesday is Here

I know it will come as a shock to many of the readers here, but I endorse Barack Obama for President in the coming election. Many of the long time readers of Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty will be scratching their heads. Some may even wonder what dirty hippy has taken possession of my once rational and heartless soul.

I hope none of the regulars here will bail on me as I explain why I support a Barack Obama Presidency. If you bear with me, I believe you will also come around to the Barack side.

Barck Obama for Change

Barack Obama supports change. Now, I’m not a big fan of too much coinage in my pocket, but I’ve never been one to sneer at getting my change back. I’m not the sort of person to say, “keep the change,” except in circumstances where a tip is customary. Change is good, even if dollar bills are better.

Barack Obama is less of a Washington insider than the other top runners, aside from Mitt Romney. But who wants to vote for a Mormon? Most of the Presidents in recent history would have previous experience as governors. And if that doesn’t persuade you, I have two words to say. Jimmy Carter.

Barack Obama has a funny sounding name. As a Political Humor writer, this is probably the most important characteristic in voting for a candidate. Again, Mitt Romney is a pretty funny sounding name. He’s definitely a good second choice, but I see him riding the bench most of the season.

Dance Party USA

Barack Obama makes me think of making funny songs based on his name.

Barack Obama mao-mao. Obama mama mao. Tequila!

See? It’s impossible to not have a great time whenever that song is playing. If you don’t believe me, just watch Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, and notice the great time everyone had while Pee Wee danced to the song.

In fact, I suggest Paul Reubens as the running mate for Barack Obama. If we could find it in our hearts to embrace Bill Clinton’ extracurricular cummings and goings, surely we can let slide a little self-abuse in a men’s room. The primary role of Vice President Pee Wee will be to do funny dances to funny parody songs based on Barack Obama’s name.

Laughter is the best medicine.

No American will feel down about skyrocketing tax rates, or watching their jobs go overseas as their companies move to parts of the world with lower taxes. They will just turn on the TV and see the newest press conference with VP Pee Wee dancing the Bird.

But hopefully not doing any other bird related activities.

Then America will smile, and realize that America may no longer be the greatest country on Earth, but we are certainly the funniest.

That is why I support Barack Obama for President.