Political Humor

The following article is a reprint from the Huffington Post. We didn’t bother asking permission to use this copyrighted material, as they never do.

With the nation’s economy in decline, President Elect Barack Hussein Obama has taken matters out of his hands and placed them into the military’s. In what is being seen as a bold move, Obama has met with General Staff from the four branches of service as well as leading manufactures of military hardware.

While details of this historic meeting may never be revealed, the few bits and pieces that have leaked out has sent shock waves of astonishment across party lines. Unique, innovative, and pure genus, are some of the words being used to describe the brainchild of this next Lincoln.

In a press release sent out today from the President Elect’s camp, Obama is quoted as saying, “We simply don’t have the manpower to throw that amount of money at every problem. Do you have any idea how big a pile two trillion dollars is?”

He added, “As the military will soon be playing a much reduced role in national defense and keeping the world safe for Democracy, I had to find something for them to do. I simply can’t fire them all and keep my promise of creating five million new jobs.”

What Obama is proposing is that the U.S. military develop and deploy what is being called the Financial Bomb or “F” Bomb. A senior military adviser to the incoming President, who wishes to remain unnamed, told this reporter that, “We have all of these weapons of mass destruction laying around. It just seemed a natural fit to convert them for peaceful uses.”

When asked how this would happen he said, “Well, the military will take out the explosive, or bad stuff and replace it with cash or good stuff. President Obama is not only willing but very anxious to drop the F Bomb whenever and wherever he sees the need.”

A lobbyist for a major munitions contractor filled in a few of the blanks. She said that there has been testing going on for some time now in anticipation of an administration that would want this capability. The first tests were performed on humans using homeless as the targets. A twelve-gauge shotgun was loaded with dimes and fired into a soup kitchen line. This did not achieve the desired effect and was soon dropped.

Later testing was done with large cannons filled with sacks of cash. Again failing to meet the standards. It was soon after this time that F Bomb was built.

While technically developed during the Bush years, Obama will receive the credit if it works and be able to blame the last administration if it fails.

It is speculated that while no specific target or goal is expected to ever be known, we could see the F Bomb dropped as early as the end of January.

[Note: Hope and change from above are nice dreams but reality is another thing all together. The two images below represent a far more realistic representation of what our future holds. Instead of economic impact filtering down from above, more likely it will impact from the bottom up -Les]

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Les James can be found here every Monday and occasionally at his political satire blog Sideshow Mirrors.