Political Humor

The following article is a reprint from the Huffington Post. We didn’t bother asking permission to use this copyrighted material, as they never do.

With the nation’s economy in decline, President Elect Barack Hussein Obama has taken matters out of his hands and placed them into the military’s. In what is being seen as a bold move, Obama has met with General Staff from the four branches of service as well as leading manufactures of military hardware.

While details of this historic meeting may never be revealed, the few bits and pieces that have leaked out has sent shock waves of astonishment across party lines. Unique, innovative, and pure genus, are some of the words being used to describe the brainchild of this next Lincoln.

In a press release sent out today from the President Elect’s camp, Obama is quoted as saying, “We simply don’t have the manpower to throw that amount of money at every problem. Do you have any idea how big a pile two trillion dollars is?”

He added, “As the military will soon be playing a much reduced role in national defense and keeping the world safe for Democracy, I had to find something for them to do. I simply can’t fire them all and keep my promise of creating five million new jobs.”

What Obama is proposing is that the U.S. military develop and deploy what is being called the Financial Bomb or “F” Bomb. A senior military adviser to the incoming President, who wishes to remain unnamed, told this reporter that, “We have all of these weapons of mass destruction laying around. It just seemed a natural fit to convert them for peaceful uses.”

When asked how this would happen he said, “Well, the military will take out the explosive, or bad stuff and replace it with cash or good stuff. President Obama is not only willing but very anxious to drop the F Bomb whenever and wherever he sees the need.”

A lobbyist for a major munitions contractor filled in a few of the blanks. She said that there has been testing going on for some time now in anticipation of an administration that would want this capability. The first tests were performed on humans using homeless as the targets. A twelve-gauge shotgun was loaded with dimes and fired into a soup kitchen line. This did not achieve the desired effect and was soon dropped.

Later testing was done with large cannons filled with sacks of cash. Again failing to meet the standards. It was soon after this time that F Bomb was built.

While technically developed during the Bush years, Obama will receive the credit if it works and be able to blame the last administration if it fails.

It is speculated that while no specific target or goal is expected to ever be known, we could see the F Bomb dropped as early as the end of January.

[Note: Hope and change from above are nice dreams but reality is another thing all together. The two images below represent a far more realistic representation of what our future holds. Instead of economic impact filtering down from above, more likely it will impact from the bottom up -Les]

See a picture you like, use it. We here at this Conservative Humor and Satire blog don’t mind if you spread the wealth of humor around.  Just give us a little credit for our hard work, unlike Huffpo.

Les James can be found here every Monday and occasionally at his political satire blog Sideshow Mirrors.

In his secret Chicago headquarters -a renovated Speakeasy from the Al Capone days- President Elect Barack Hussein Obama, is meeting with his trusted adviser, Rahm Emanuel.

Obama: Rahm, what’s that folder in your hand? You look like you want to talk to me about something.

Emanuel: Yes sir, I’m afraid we’re going to have to look at some of your campaign promises again.

Obama: What are you talking about? You know I only said that stuff to get elected.

Emanuel: Yes, sir. I’m very aware; I was a politician after all.

Obama: Huh… we really pulled a fast one on those gullible idiots, didn’t we?

Emanuel: We sure did. But anyway, can we get back to those campaign promises?

Obama: Sure. What’s up?

Emanuel: It seems that some of those people actually thought you were serious about creating all those jobs.

Obama: And you think that I need to look like I care so it doesn’t affect my pre-inauguration poll numbers? The season of giving, hope and change and all that other crap? Sure why not? Toss ‘em a bone.

Emanuel: Fantastic! One with absolutely no meat on it. Brilliant. That’s what I love about working for you sir; you always know just the right thing to do.

Obama: It’s a gift but speaking of jobs, do you think we can find Michelle anything to do? She’s really bugging me. That woman can be a major pain in the ass.

Emanuel: I’m sure we can find something but you want to be careful. Remember what happened to Bill when Hillary latched on to health care.

Obama: Good point. Speaking of Hillary, she’s making me nervous, being all sweet and everything. I think we’re putting her in a position that’s a little too close for my comfort.

Emanuel: Keep your friends close but your enemies…

Obama: You’re missing it. I mean she’s too close in the Presidential Line Of Succession.

Emanuel: She’s number four. There are three others before her.

Obama: Yeah, that’s what I mean. There’s only three…

Emanuel: I’ll keep an eye on her for you. Now sir, I had a major New York marketing firm look at this jobs issue and they came up with a few ideas. This folder was just delivered by courier so I haven’t had a chance to look it over yet.

Obama: Great, just spread those out here on my desk and let’s take a look. I’m sure those Madison Avenue boys came up with something we can use…

Share our funny pictures with your friends, or people you really just want to annoy. All we ask is that you attribute them to the page you found them on. We’re happy to take the blame.

Les James delivers here every Monday, like a pissed-off Postal worker during the Holidays. Neither rain nor snow or stupid comments can stop him from stuffing this junk mail in your slot. The rest of the time, you can find him hanging-out with his unsavory minions at political satire & humor at Sideshow Mirrors.

The humor has surely left Wall Street but the political handouts have only just begun in the worst financial crisis since the savings and loan debacle nearly two decades ago. Had they listened to me and my discovery of a great new banking service that I talked about here on Radioactive Liberty awhile back all of this could have been avoided.

Let’s not kid around though. The financial crisis is so serious George Bush went on television Wednesday night claiming there were weapons of mass destruction in the economy and that if we don’t give absolute power to the government and go to war we will be nukified.

No kidding, he said nukified.

Bush did not mention sending the people who run AIG, Lehman Brothers, and the other financial corporations’ leaders to Gitmo for waterboarding however. It is a shame because torture never looked so appealing.

Of course the rest of our fine politicians with their strong leadership are stepping up to the plate. Congress took action, by-passing their recess to burn the midnight oil and solve this crisis:

“Rep. Jane Harman (D-Calif.) wants to stick around. ”I am recommending that Congress postpone its planned recess. We should stay here until we find the right answer to this problem,” she said.

“If it takes two or three weeks, that’s okay,” said Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio)”

It is funny that when we had $4-a-gallon gasoline, our elected leaders of the House and Senate didn’t postpone their break. Back then we were taking the financial hit of course and not their cronies on Wall Street. None of us have given millions to their campaigns.

Try breaking down all the payouts and handouts and donations that have gone on between the financial industry and our honest and caring leaders in Washington and it becomes a political version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.

I can not blame the politicians though. I hear this time of year is bad to take a vacation anyway because the Hamptons are just swarming with leaf peepers. The beautiful people don’t want to want to deal with Nana and Grandpa plodding along in the Crown Victoria looking at trees. Besides, the politicians would have to actually be nice to them because old people are the most-likely demographic to vote.

On a side note, I am not sure I will be voting when I’m old. By that point why would I give a crap? Besides, old people aren’t good for elections simply because their reference points are in the past. They are always babbling on about how hamburgers were a nickel and during the Depression people ate their own shoes.

Speaking of the Great Depression, we need to elect Barack Obama.

Oh the fun you can have with a double entendre. But seriously, unlike Bush, Joe Biden would be the perfect person to go on television and help calm the frayed nerves of America like Franklin D. Roosevelt did in 1929. Really, it happened that way. Joe Biden said so.

He’d make a great history teacher by the way.

Chris Cameron writes this weekly drivel pretending to be a political humor column every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his odd angles on life at his humor blog, Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com can’t stop licking it’s groin. Please got there to read funny blogs and make it stop. Kinda grossing me out.

More Conservative Political Humor

* The Secretary of the Treasury has an important message for the American people.
* Bush: Congress Must Act to Save Stupid People
* McCain to suspend campaign