Political Humor

In an attempt to be a little more up to date on current events, I bring you my own version of political humor quick hits.

Fort Hood Texas Shooting

First off, there’s big news of a shooting near Fort Hood, Texas. Current reports list casualties at 12 dead and 31 injured. One mass murderer is identified as Malik Nadal Hasan, who is of an unknown and entirely ambiguous religious persuasion.

That wasn’t funny, but hey, I told you the news always sucks the life out of you.

Swine Flu

In the category of hysteria over 48 hour sniffles, a health worker has been fired in Calgary, Alberta for offering the H1N1 Swine Flu vaccine to players of the Calgary Flames. Just so you know, that’s in Canada. You know, the country we keep being told to model our own health care system after.

On the homefront, Gitmo detainees get first crack at being vaccinated against a mild fever and sore throat for a day or two. I’d like to be upset, but let’s face it. We’re not talking about polio or some other horrible disease. It’s THE FLU! You’ll get over it.

Musical Ringtones

In Nairobi, Al Shabaab rebels of no apparent religious conviction want to impose Sharia law including banning musical ringtones on cell phones, movies and dancing. On the upside, they also want to ban soccer. Hey, every cloud has it’s silver lining right?

They should just run a big PR campaign telling everyone that soccer will give you a runny nose, but don’t call it that. Call it the H1N1 virus and everyone will avoid soccer like the plague.

I also agree that musical ringtones are from the Devil. That’s why I have mine set to play Iron Maiden.