Political Humor

President Obama recently met with French President Sarkozy during the European Leg of his Apologize for America Tour. For some reason, Sarkozy didn’t seem to take a shine to the Chosen One.

The Subversive Conservatives @ Radioactive Liberty have obtained a transcript of their conversation.

Obama: So Nick, what did you think of my speech apologizing for America dissing Europe?

Sarkozy: First off Barack, I am Mr President to you. Not Nick, Nicky, or Nicolas understand? Second I do not understand this “dissing”.

Obama: So Nick, what did you think of my apolog… Hang-on, I’ve already read that… Yeah, just scroll down a bit… There you are. Stop. Perfect… Anyway, dissing. You know, like to disrespect. America has disrespected you guys over here for far too long. Reagan dissed you, Bush dissed you.  The other Bush dissed you. Clinton just wanted a blow job. Hehehe, I added that last one myself… Stay on message. Do not try to do this on your own… Oh, I wasn’t supposed to read that last part aloud. Sorry, I apologize.

Sarkozy: Yes, I can see you are sorry and very bad at ad lib, but the French are far more sorry.

Obama: Oh please, my country has much more to be sorry for than France. We tortured prisoners with caterpillars!

Sarkozy: HA! We French build cars that are so bad that it is torture just to drive one. And we sell them to ourselves!

Obama: That’s pretty sorry, but I can top it. America will immediately and unconditionally pull out of Pakistan.

Sarkozy: You are not in Pakistan.

Obama: What? John Kerry told me he spent Christmas in Pakistan.

Sarkozy: You see, I am right. Europe and especially France has much more to apologize for than your baby-aged country will ever have. You have not been around long enough to have gone through the Spanish Inquisition, the Middle Ages, or the Crusades. We have far more to be sorry about than America will ever have.

Obama: You don’t know what you’re talking about.  What about slavery, WWI, WWII, Korea and Viet Nam?

Sarkozy: We had our own slaves and we ran away in WWI, WWII and Viet Nam. We also sent exactly one ship and an entire battalion of snobby waiters to your Korean war. So there. What do you have to say now, huh? You can not possibly beat that. I win.

Obama: Yeah, well. Yeah… Well… Well… I have a small penis!

Sarkozy: What?

Obama: I said, I have a small penis!

Sarkozy: You are trying to shame me. There is no way your penis is smaller than mine. We French pride ourselves on our minuscule manhood.

Obama: That’s right Nicky. You know I’m only half black and the white half is way tiny.

Sarkozy: I do not believe you. American’s are known around the world for winning all of your, how you say, pissing contest. That requires a very large…

Obama: Peter? Not me bucko. Now you know why I apologize so damn much. It’s so small I can only tinkle down my leg.

Sarkozy: I challenge you prove your claim. Right here! Right now!

Obama: Okay, but I have to warn you, I don’t have any balls either.

Sarkozy: It is true! Your penis is smaller than mine and you do not have any balls!

Obama: Oui, oui, Sarkozy. I have a wee wee-wee.

Sarkozy: I hate you! I hate America!