Political Humor

Unmanned Menstrual Cycle Kills Libyans

The more we at this rag learn about how the indecision was made to bomb Libya, the more we find out it was the women in the administration who were the driving force behind this unconstitutional action.

When you think about it, it makes perfect sense Hillary, and her feminist crones, would nag until they got their way. It’s also a well known fact women tend to sync their periods to the lunar cycle. Add to this, an usual event late last week -when the full moon was closer and therefore more influential then it had been in 9 years- and we had Satan’s own recipe for high flow bitchiness.

Obama says Hillary told him the messiest part will be over in a few days, then the heavy duty U.S. Forces will be swapped out for a much lighter-weight NATO version. The U.S. will then be left to pad around in the background.

Pure bleeding… heart, full-moonbat, lunacy.

[Fiar you're right. Daniel Tosh has pushed the line clean out of sight.]

Trivial Pursuits, Obama Edition

Obama’s Trivial Pursuits (hardly worth much thought or effort) = fixing the economy, creating millions of jobs, learning to bowl better than a Special Olympian, being fiscally responsible, finishing old wars before starting a new one, eating a Philly Cheesesteak, and closing Gitmo,

Obama’s Not So Trivial Pursuits (very important, would actually cross the street for) = Eating cuts of Wagyu beef, that each cost more than his half-brother George in Kenya makes in a year, golf, frequent expensive vacations, basketball, pushing unpopular agendas and appeasing thuggish unions. The National German Socialist Worker’s Party had the strongarm Brown Shirts, where as the National American Socialist Worker’s Party, a.k.a. the Democrat Party, has the bosses at the SEIU, AFL-CIO and teacher’s unions.

[I'm in no way implying that union bosses are workers or even wear brown shirt, but if it steps like a goose...]

Coming Soon: November 2012 Regime Change

Citing a vote finding illegitimacy (read that as you will), a small contingent of beret topped, cigarette smoking French lead a U.N. backed coalition to the White House, to oust Obama. The President reportedly read the strongly worded letter, shrugged his shoulders, picked up his basketball, and headed back to Chicago. Obama was seen smiling as he left through the front gate. A witness to the event stated the now former Commander and Chief told passersby, it was fine with him. “After all”, he said, “just like Libya, the U.N. told me to go and I went. It must be the will of the world.”

The French quickly moved to cut funding to the EPA, build more nuclear power plants, start getting the national debt under control, and lower health care cost by repealing ObamaCare. They also decreed that foreigners must immediately assimilate, or go back to what ever nasty, filthy, disease plagued, fly swarmed, mosquito infested, flee ridden, third-world, hell-hole they came from, even if it was France.

On the down side, Americans will now be forced to eat runny, smelly cheese, bathe once a month -whether we need it or not, jump at our own shadows, drink tiny amounts of some kind of coffee beverage out of feminine cups, and watch Jerry Lewis movies.

[Well, it could be worse.]

Parting Thought

Never throw-away your old dictators, they’ll always come back into fashion.

Back in the days of the Joe the Plumber fiasco, we were told that it is not Socialist to “spread the wealth around.” Vice President Joe Biden declared that “(Obama) is NOT spreading the wealth around,” after inquiring as to whether he was even being asked a serious question.

Now, NewsWeek declares (in their cover story) that we are all Socialists now. I’m a bit confused about this. Does that mean that it’s now okay to admit that spreading the wealth around is Socialist?

I have a few diagreements with a few of the editorial points of the article. Authors Jon Meacham and Evan Thomas state, correctly, that President G. W. Bush “effectively nationalized the banking and mortgage industries.” However, they seem to be under a false impression that President Bush was, and I quote, “a conservative Republican administration.” Ba-dum-bum!

This is the President whose gigantic leaps in spending and Socialization of the US made Hugo Chavez giggle like a shoolgirl, and Russian Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin is warning against the dangers of meddling in the free market. I have stated for years that President Bush is a Left Wing Socialist.

In fact, I don’t have the slightest idea why it is that the moonbats didn’t love the guy. He was on their side of damn near every issue, from deleting our national borders, to supporting and passing Chappqiddick Ted’s No Child Left Literate bill.

The article warns, “As entitlement spending rises over the next decade, we will become even more French.” I agree. With Rabidly Left wing Democrats at the helm, it won’t merely be entitlements that make us more French. We’ll be more like them in the most French of all ways, surrendering to everything in sight.

I surrender!

No, that’s just a cockroach. Hire an exterminator, and it won’t be a problem anymore.

I surrender!

No. That’s just a serial rapist. Pump him full enough of potassium chloride and watch the recidivism rate plummet.

I surrender!

No. That’s just a baby. Let it come 2/3 of the way out of the birth canal and suck out it’s brains and no one will be punished by it.

I surrender!

That’s just a terrorist. Put a bullet in his head and he won’t harm anyone.

I surrender!

No, President Obama. That’s just your shadow. Just stick your head back in that bucket and it can’t harm you.

Dope image by IMAO.us right wing humor reader Bryan. Source: Lolbama part 7.

Thanks to Conservative Scalawag for tipping me off to the article. Compare and contrast.