Political Humor

Are you Democrats fucking kidding me? A Three point Seven Trillion dollar budget proposal from President I’m Not Listening, the Repubs want to start with a minuscule cut of Sixty-One Billion, and the Dems counter with Ten point Five Billion in cuts!

And the Ever Level-Headed, Sen. Barbara Boxer says Republicans are on a vendetta against Elmo. Yeah, you nailed it, babe.

My little calculator doesn’t have enough room for all the zeros, so I’m going to take the word of a Fox News journalist. Ten point Five Billion is only POINT TWO EIGHT PERCENT OF THREE POINT SEVEN TRILLION($3,700, ooo,ooo,ooo.00)! That’s .28%! As in $.0028!

OK, let’s put this moonbat math stupidity into perspective. Let’s say you spent one hundred thousand dollars last year, but only made sixty thousand -we’re currently borrowing forty cents on ever dollar. So this year you decide it would be financially prudent  to drastically cut back on your spending. You’re going to cut point two eight percent!

That’s a whopping Two Hundred and Eighty Dollars in cuts! And you’re planning on spending (read borrowing) even more this year!

The Democrats scream that we don’t dare cut any more than they propose because if we do, it will promote illiteracy, kill jobs, mothers, children, minorities and sanction vivisection on the cast of Sesame Street.

I say Kill NPR, Planned Parenthood, Reading is Fundamental, and the rest of those non-essential programs, and let the Free Market sort ‘em out.

I wonder how many starving teachers Big Bird could feed? Save me a drum stick.

What American doesn’t love a $3.7 TRILLION dollar budget? I think most reasonable people agree that every single solitary cent of that 3.7 TRILLION (with a T) is absolutely 100% necessary. So I feel confident that threatening to shut down the budget if the fascist, baby-eating, child molesting, Repugnicans dare to impose any limitations on spending is a winning strategy for Obama and the Democrats.

Some years ago I knew a couple of guys who would go to this one particular club. They went for two reasons. The first was, the Chippendale dancers. No, they weren’t gay; they were waiting for the show to get out, in one of the smaller bars. My former associates let someone else do all the work. They were vultures, looking for free and easy …pickin’s.

They also went to the club when the male dancers weren’t performing, ‘cause the female ones were. They went for the lap dances.

Men and ah, some of you ladies, if this has got you ready to leave this page and set your Google SafeSearch filter to the Off position, you may be susceptible to the hollow allure of Political Lap Dancing Syndrome.

Hi, I’m Les James, Doctor of Photography and researcher behind an amazing, recent political poll. In an unscientific survey, where I spoke to no one but myself, and I responded (multiple times), there was unanimous agreement, those who let someone else do all the work, and then swoop in for the benefits, and are prone to stuffing unemployment compensation or welfare check dollar bills behind the tiny g-strings of empty promises -in the hope for something more- are most likely liberals, and show definite signs of PLDS.

For those suffering with Political Lap Dancing Syndrome, metaphorically, it’s no different than paying for an expensive date, only to get a peck on the cheek at night’s end. These deluded individuals will then continue to pay increasingly more and more, and court the same people, expecting a better outcome. It’s sad, isn’t it?

Political Lap Dancing Syndrome, metaphorically, it’s no different than paying for an expensive date, only to get a peck on the cheek at night’s end.

Lets’ face facts as I know them, what they think they want looks really titillating on the surface, and it appears to be within easy reach. If they are willing to pay enough of other people’s money, occasionally they may actually gain a little short-lived satisfaction.

The problem is, in the end or other places, they most likely will come away with something really didn’t want and is far too easily spread.

While there is no cure for PLDS, Planned Parenthood promotes abortion as a safe method of preventing propagation to future generations.

Now you may be saying, ‘Les, you ignorant asswhip! You have no idea what you’re talking about and you’re just making shit up like Fox News!’ To which I reply, I know you are, but what am I? That, and my survey techniques and conclusions have as much validity as Election Day exit polling and Climate Change research.

So there.

Only political humor pictures can spread faster than exotic dancers. Spread some of ours far and wide today, they like it.