Political Humor

Welcome to day four of the historic Radioactive Liberty Climate Change Conference. If you are wondering why there was like a half-week break between the last presentation and now we have a good reason: our computers froze up.

Just like record lows that are hitting Cancun, the same is happening to the RL Climate Change SuperComputers. What can we say, must be the Al Gore effect?

(If you missed any of the past presentations or the Opening post links are at the end.)

Today’s presentation is another one by Les called:  “Bright Ideas To Stop Global Warming“.

Are CFL’s the brightest ideas we can come up with? Isn’t there anything more we can do?

In the slides you are about to see, we have narrowed the hundreds of ideas down to the best and the brightest…

Les- Actually, these ideas have come from some of the brightest people in the world, the presenters at the conference. No way could I have come up with anything that brilliant.

The only problem I see is the iron thing. Too much of it will cause constipation. That’s just what we need, a bloated, irritable, gassy bitch.

Fiar- They’re all brilliant ideas, but what I really want to know is, why is there a tree growing out of that guy’s… On second thought. I really don’t want to know. Apparently your gassy bitch is having her period.

Chris- I understand what the mirrors do, but what is the giant brush for? Is that a CO2 scrubber?

Les- No, it’s not a CO2 scrubber, but I like it. Think about it Chris, Mother Earth is a woman after all. And Fiar, you’re just crass.

This concludes our presentation. Feel free to leave your comments on this topic below.

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Past Conference Posts:

Opening

Presentation: Did Bush Cause Global Warming

Presentation: No Really Its Still Warming

Welcome to another day here at the Radioactive Liberty’s Climate Change Conference. Today’s presentation is by none other than our least favorite moonbat Monty a.k.a. Super Liberal.

Super Liberal (SL)- Hello everyone, it’s great to be back in front of such a warm crowd.

Fiar- Make it quick, pudding head. I left the car running so it won’t be cold when I get back in it.

Chris- Well, if it isn’t everyone’s least-favorite moonbat. Hey you dropped your granola bar.

Les- Quick! Pick it up before it attracts every enviro-mental within a three block radius. That’s like dropping a bar of lavender soap in a San Francisco prison shower.

I suppose you’re here for a reason. Pray tell, what is it this time?

SL- Today I present my findings on global warming based on an experiment I did in 2008. Unlike what Rush has programmed you to think the planet is still warming. Stop neglecting the Earth for just a few minutes, stop breathing in the capitalist stench of your fossil fuel exhaust.

With a clear mind you can see what those who are truly free do.

“No Really It’s Still Warming”

In 2008 I collected daily temperatures from January until the end of June. The readings were taken at around the same time every day but I will admit that I missed a couple of weeks in April so I used May and June’s averages then subtracted five from each one to fill in the missing weeks.

The results:

The average temperature at the beginning of the experiment was 22.4 F, and 76.2 at the end for a warming of like 55 degrees!

The chart below also clearly shows this to be the case:

Even more amazing was that there was a significant swing in the ratio of  snowfall and rainfall precipitation.

If you look at both charts, you can plainly see that as the warming trend has continued, there has been a change from snow to rain as far as precipitation.

This is obviously expected from a warming planet but the short time of the change is what is concerning, especially when the amount of rain is nowhere near the amount of snow. This could lead to water shortages, something predicted by the IPCC.

An unusually-warm April contributed heavily to the warming pattern:

What is most revealing is how much that month added to the warming trend, especially since April historically tends to be cooler.

Obviously, a warmer month means climate change is still happening. If this keeps up, we could lose a species or two before the decade ends!

What say you Republithugs?

(The study was conducted from daily temperature readings outside a liberal home in Arlington, Mass. from January 1 to June 30 then converted to monthly averages, with a +/- sampling error at around 4.5%.)

Les- Your “facts” are as short-sighted and useful as borrowing to create jobs. I think I know where you learned this valuable “scientific” technique. Two and a half years ago I wrote a global warming satire, describing the very method you used. You’re an utter fool. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s such typical liberal move, believing in any fiction you read that fits with your narrow, head in a bucket fanaticism. My guess is you never did the study, you just plagiarized. What do you think, Fiar?

Fiar- I agree with everything the cerebellum of cement said. I’m all for more warming for everyone and skimpy bikinis all around. Can I go now? I have this sudden urge to beat a hippie.

Les- Cerebellum of cement? What the  flying…(text redacted)

Fiar- (text redacted)

Les- (text redacted)

SL- Can’t we all just get…

Les/Fiar- Shut-up!

Fiar- (text redacted)… and the horse you rode in on!

Chris-I have a headache.

This concludes today’s presentation. Feel free to leave your comments below.
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Past Conference posts:
Opening
Presentation: Did Bush Cause Global Warming

Welcome to day two of the Radioactive Liberty Climate Conference. If you missed the Opening day post click here to read it.

Today’s presentation is by Les James entitled “Did Bush Cause Global Warming“.

Did W cause AGW? And what the hell do pyramids and bikinis have to do with it?

Les, in this picture you’ve brought to our conference, it shows proof of climate change. What’s your theory on this?

Les- Bush lied, the glaciers died. It’s obvious. I saw him on TV pushing his new book. I’m now convinced if he had only signed the Kyoto Accords, I’d have nice fluffy snow this year. We have to do something drastic. I’ve heard several great ideas coming out of the conference already.

Fiar- Les, Shut the Hell up about the damn fluffy, flaky snow already. I told you — build a pyramid. Back on topic– Who’s going to go to Cancun on spring break wearing nothing but a skimpy bikini in the pre-Bush Cancun pictured above. Who goes on spring break to Barrow, Alaska? No one, that’s who. We just need more pyramids. I have plans to bulldoze my house and replace it with a pyramid. I will live in a secret tunnel underground.

Chris- It’s the bikinis. They cause pyramids to form. In every study peer-reviewed by fellow cronies bikinis came first, then pyramids.

The vertical black lines are where bikini rates rose. Red are where pyramids increased. This graph proves everything.

I would also like to point out that in the Middle East there are no more pyramids forming. Why? Most countries in the region do not allow women to wear bikinis. Therefore, until this trend is reversed we will see no new pyramids in the Middle East.

Les- I use to live in Alaska. We had fluffy snow there… and women in Carhartts and Bunny Boots…ooooh.

Despite his totally negative approach -read, being a prick- Fiar has a point. I’ve never seen a pyramid in the Great White North. Oh, and another thing I’ve never seen is, an above ground tunnel. You Chris, have a point too. Just thinking about those tight Carhartts forms a pyram… Ah, never mind.

This concludes our presentation. Feel free to leave your comments on this topic below.