Political Humor

Monday the COP 16, otherwise known as the Global Warming Sales Conference and Trade Show 16 kicked off in beautiful Cancun, Mexico. Pretty nice weather this week compared to the averages…

Radioactive Liberty would love to be there but we couldn’t afford the travel and hotel. So we are having our own climate change conference right here at home with me Chris C, Les, and Fiar.

Les- Whatever. My snow blower is giving me trouble again. The snow seems wetter this year, and it’s clogging up the blades. I’m sure it’s man-made Climate Change’s fault.

Fiar- What you really need, Les, is more warming. Then you won’t ever need that snow blower again.

Chris- If you just hide the decline Les all that wet snow would turn to rain.

Even if it does get warmer up north our accommodations are not as nice as the ones in Cancun.

Fiar- If warming is so terrible, why is the conference in Cancun, Mexico instead of Barrow, Alaska? Could it be because you can’t even fucking go outside in Barrow, Alaska in December without becoming cryogenically frozen until July? Looking at this picture just reminded me — I have a hypothesis that pyramids cause global warming. Look. There are pyramids in Mexico, Egypt, and Las Vegas, and they have far warmer climates than in East Nowhere, Oregon, where Les lives. If they had pyramids there, he could be playing golf in a skimpy bikini right now instead of complaining about his stupid snow blower. Think about it.

Chris- I’d hate to be the guy that has to mow that lawn. That is the kind of job I would give to an illegal immigrant and restrict them to only using carbon-free scissors. Because I care about the environment.

I think next year we should go to the climate change conference. We are missing out on some quality entertainment like the “Fossil of the Day”.

Les- Oh, we’ll get a chance to shake hands with John McCain?

Fiar- Ah, McCain. The original Fossil of the Day. Couldn’t they get any good looking chicks for their stupid awards? Good looking chicks in skimpy bikinis.

Chris- Liberals have the ugly chick demo covered that’s for sure. And I’ll bet money this was the choreographer’s entry for the 6th grade Earth Day talent show when they were a kid.

And the parties look like a lot of fun.

Chris- Cuervo Gold? Maybe they are rationing after all. But it is good to see the liquor is flowing. I’d imagine someone would need a lot of booze to deal with all the bullshit flowing at that shindig. And what’s up with that chick dancing alone?

Fiar- Worst birthday party ever. I’m glad I wasn’t invited.

Les- I wonder if they hired the local drug cartel to cater the conference? Booze and mind altering drugs would explain a lot.

Looks like our conference is starting off as well as we expected. We already made fun of liberals, introduced some wacky theories we will discuss later on, and it’s only our first day.

And coming up during the first annual Radioactive Liberty Climate Change Conference we will have presentations on topics like:

Bright Ideas to Stop Global Warming

Pyramids vs Bikinis vs Warming vs The Borg

Bush’s Role in Global Warming

No Really It’s Still Warming

There is also a rumor that TV star Patrick Duffy and Bigfoot the monster truck might make an appearance. More on that soon.

Enjoy the conference everyone and try not to exhale too much. It’s bad for the planet.

Coming this fall……an epic new disaster movie so scary you will literally be crapping your pants in the theater…

An iceberg so large and destructive it threatens the existence of mankind…

A film so outlandish Time Magazine calls it: “outlandishly outlandish”…

Based on the true-life, over-hyped story by the media, Attack of The Iceberg pits man against a broken-off piece of a glacier in Greenland that threatens to possibly move very, very slowly towards shipping lanes.

Ed Markey stars as Phyllis Mayton, a cross-dressing transgender who tries to convince a skeptical world of dire implications…

“An iceberg four times the size of Manhattan has broken off Greenland, creating plenty of room for deniers to start their own country…”

Cookie the Polar Bear stars as Snowflake, the dis-enchanted gansta from the hood looking to prevent anyone from getting near the iceberg, which he considers his territory.

The Rebel Alliance from Star Wars star as themselves, a rag-tag group of dissenters hoping to stop the iceberg from killing the world.

Attack of the Iceberg…coming to theaters this Fall.

——————————————————–

Chris Cameron is a columnist for Radioactive Liberty. He also has his own political humor/commentary blog Trees Hate Hugs as well as Angry Seafood, a politics-free humor blog.

The BBC reports that Global Warming died a horrible, embarrassing death in 1998. Since that time, the Earth has “unexpectedly” cooled. According to the report:

For the last 11 years we have not observed any increase in global temperatures.

And our climate models did not forecast it, even though man-made carbon dioxide, the gas thought to be responsible for warming our planet, has continued to rise.

How utterly shocking! It’s almost as if the Global Warming Hysteria agenda was a purely political movement, contrived to inflict fear in the general public and allow worldwide governments to pass legislation designed to limit the liberties of their citizens.

Let’s analyze. Since this is one of AlGore’s pet projects, we’ll transform one of his own speeches. Carbon dioxide has gone UP! Temperatures have gone DOWN!

Here’s a key statement “Our climate models did not forecast it.” Let’s see, who here could have predicted that the computer model predicting the weather could have possibly been wrong? Anyone.

Oooh! Oooh! Pick me! And what did I get for my efforts? In my Facts on Global Warming post, the enlightened “Cynthia” had this to say:

Wow, you are a moron my friend. That’s ok though one day you will look back at this post and say oops… oh well my bad!

Oops isn’t exactly the word coming to mind right at the moment. What else is there? “Tiago” says

everyone who said global warming is a hoax and especially whoever wrote this article…you are all a bunch of drooling morons

Let me get you a towel to wipe up that drool, my friend. Thankfully “Informed Reader” was impervious to the media propaganda and had these sage words to say

Well, all I have to say is this author is a complete idiot. I would wager a guess to say they never graduated from college as well seeing as he does not have to ability to look at facts and see them for what they are.

Or not. Hey, did you know that Einstein was kicked out of school for asking too many questions? Clearly the man was an idiot.

We even had a special appearance by “Guy Who Knows More Than The Author.” I’d quote him, but he had to get back on the short bus and go home.

Thousands of years ago, Nug Nug looked at the sky and said “Big ball of fire in sky make hot.” They didn’t even have a word for “science” yet, and still Nug Nug had his scientific method down far better than the so-called “Scientists” of today.

Back to the BBC article.

Sceptics argue that the warming we observed was down to the energy from the Sun increasing. After all 98% of the Earth’s warmth comes from the Sun.

Wow! 98% huh? That’s almost ALL of it. Yet, still the priesthood of the New Religion of Global Warming Hysteria claim that, and I quote, “Warming in the last 20 to 40 years can’t have been caused by solar activity.” Now that’s incredible, as in the opposite of credible. What did this guy get his degree in? 12th Century Japanese Poetry?

Fortunately, the BBC has the good mind to make sure we all know that there is some renegade out there questioning the general consensus. He’s probably the next unabomber or something based on the introduction he received.

But one solar scientist Piers Corbyn from Weatheraction, a company specialising in long range weather forecasting, disagrees.

Just a single, solitary scientist questions the veracity of man made global warming. A lone gunman, if you will. Thankfully he’s the only one, right?

He claims that solar charged particles impact us far more than is currently accepted, so much so he says that they are almost entirely responsible for what happens to global temperatures.

Nug Nug, is that you? Let’s recap, the Sun generates 98% of the Earth’s heat, which is almost all of it, and this guy wants us to believe that “solar charged particles” are responsible for almost all of the Earth’s heat? Like, maybe 98%? Put the guy in a mental institution! “Guy who knows more than the Author” said he’s an idiot. And you know that’s a credible source.

We were force fed a steady diet of global warming propaganda on the basis of a scientific model that failed to produce accurate predictions. I thought that a model that didn’t make accurate predictions meant that the hypothesis was wrong. What does ScienceBuddies have to say about the scientific method?
See that part where it says “Hypothesis is false or partially true.” It seems to me that it winds up circling back around to “Construct new hypothesis.”

Big ball of fire in sky make hot. Nug Nug’s hypothesis still holds true, even after tens of thousands of years.

Perhaps it’s time we finally gave The Great Global Warming Hoax it’s eulogy. Offer your eulogy in the comments section.