Political Humor

I’ve been suffering from a case of the winter blues. There has been record setting snowfall this year. Lake Erie is frozen for the first time in 14 years. I’m currently nursing a bad back due to shoveling snow — and more snow. In fact, the next person that stands face to face with me and tells me that the planet is getting warmer will be paying my medical bills to have their teeth removed from my fist.

The Global Warming alarmists won’t back down, even in the face of continuing overwhelming evidence that their claims are hysterical at best, but are more likely simply straight out fraud. Even though the lack of snow and milder winters were the rallying cry for the advancement of their scam a few years ago, the current harsh winter and record snowfalls are somehow proof positive that their claims of impending ecological calamity are correct.

“The record snowfall this year in Washington, D.C., and other areas of the country has fueled skeptics who see the snow-covered capital as evidence that global warming is a myth, though scientists argue that temperatures have risen over the long term and that extreme weather — even snow — can be a symptom of climate change.”

There’s some weasel wording for you. “Snow — can be a symptom of climate change.” Sure, like it’s getting really fucking cold. That’s a change in the climate. Notice once again how the ever popular term of Global Warming is being phased out and replaced with the less specific term of “climate change.” The reason for this is simple. Global Warming is a Scam.

The BBC reports that Global Warming died a horrible, embarrassing death in 1998. Since that time, the Earth has “unexpectedly” cooled. According to the report:

For the last 11 years we have not observed any increase in global temperatures.

And our climate models did not forecast it, even though man-made carbon dioxide, the gas thought to be responsible for warming our planet, has continued to rise.

How utterly shocking! It’s almost as if the Global Warming Hysteria agenda was a purely political movement, contrived to inflict fear in the general public and allow worldwide governments to pass legislation designed to limit the liberties of their citizens.

Let’s analyze. Since this is one of AlGore’s pet projects, we’ll transform one of his own speeches. Carbon dioxide has gone UP! Temperatures have gone DOWN!

Here’s a key statement “Our climate models did not forecast it.” Let’s see, who here could have predicted that the computer model predicting the weather could have possibly been wrong? Anyone.

Oooh! Oooh! Pick me! And what did I get for my efforts? In my Facts on Global Warming post, the enlightened “Cynthia” had this to say:

Wow, you are a moron my friend. That’s ok though one day you will look back at this post and say oops… oh well my bad!

Oops isn’t exactly the word coming to mind right at the moment. What else is there? “Tiago” says

everyone who said global warming is a hoax and especially whoever wrote this article…you are all a bunch of drooling morons

Let me get you a towel to wipe up that drool, my friend. Thankfully “Informed Reader” was impervious to the media propaganda and had these sage words to say

Well, all I have to say is this author is a complete idiot. I would wager a guess to say they never graduated from college as well seeing as he does not have to ability to look at facts and see them for what they are.

Or not. Hey, did you know that Einstein was kicked out of school for asking too many questions? Clearly the man was an idiot.

We even had a special appearance by “Guy Who Knows More Than The Author.” I’d quote him, but he had to get back on the short bus and go home.

Thousands of years ago, Nug Nug looked at the sky and said “Big ball of fire in sky make hot.” They didn’t even have a word for “science” yet, and still Nug Nug had his scientific method down far better than the so-called “Scientists” of today.

Back to the BBC article.

Sceptics argue that the warming we observed was down to the energy from the Sun increasing. After all 98% of the Earth’s warmth comes from the Sun.

Wow! 98% huh? That’s almost ALL of it. Yet, still the priesthood of the New Religion of Global Warming Hysteria claim that, and I quote, “Warming in the last 20 to 40 years can’t have been caused by solar activity.” Now that’s incredible, as in the opposite of credible. What did this guy get his degree in? 12th Century Japanese Poetry?

Fortunately, the BBC has the good mind to make sure we all know that there is some renegade out there questioning the general consensus. He’s probably the next unabomber or something based on the introduction he received.

But one solar scientist Piers Corbyn from Weatheraction, a company specialising in long range weather forecasting, disagrees.

Just a single, solitary scientist questions the veracity of man made global warming. A lone gunman, if you will. Thankfully he’s the only one, right?

He claims that solar charged particles impact us far more than is currently accepted, so much so he says that they are almost entirely responsible for what happens to global temperatures.

Nug Nug, is that you? Let’s recap, the Sun generates 98% of the Earth’s heat, which is almost all of it, and this guy wants us to believe that “solar charged particles” are responsible for almost all of the Earth’s heat? Like, maybe 98%? Put the guy in a mental institution! “Guy who knows more than the Author” said he’s an idiot. And you know that’s a credible source.

We were force fed a steady diet of global warming propaganda on the basis of a scientific model that failed to produce accurate predictions. I thought that a model that didn’t make accurate predictions meant that the hypothesis was wrong. What does ScienceBuddies have to say about the scientific method?
See that part where it says “Hypothesis is false or partially true.” It seems to me that it winds up circling back around to “Construct new hypothesis.”

Big ball of fire in sky make hot. Nug Nug’s hypothesis still holds true, even after tens of thousands of years.

Perhaps it’s time we finally gave The Great Global Warming Hoax it’s eulogy. Offer your eulogy in the comments section.

A recent report from Germany’s Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences indicates that the next ten years or so, man made global warming will be engaged in a blood feud with Mother Nature, Earth Mother Gaia herself. It seems that the oceans are cooling. The thing about the oceans is that they are big. Really big.

I don’t want to get too bogged down in scientological explanations, but when things are really big, they make a major impact on other, uh… Things.

I hope that concept won’t make your brain hurt as much as it hurt mine. So, anyway, these big, cooling oceans will cause atmospheric cooling of the Earf as a whole.

Global warming hyperventilationists, and peddlers of global warming snake oil – Guaranteed to cure all your tax increase, and intrusive government regulation needs – Assure us that there’s no need for alarm. “Man made” global warming will continue unabated.

It’s just going on a brief holiday while Earth Mother engages in a perfectly natural cycle of cooling. Perhaps Gaia is merely carrying out some counterterrorism measures against that plague most vile and wicked – People.

Take for instance, this Global Warming Amway salesman, Richard Wood, who says:

Those natural climate variations could be stronger than the global-warming trend over the next 10-year period. Without knowing that, you might erroneously think there’s no global warming going on.

Am I the only one more than a little skeptical of a source named Dick Wood? Maybe that’s just me, erroneously thinking that there’s no global warming going on. Seriously. Dick Wood? Is this a news story or a global warming satire?

Another “expert,” Noel Keelnyside, needs your help to free the funds from a Nigerian Bank account:

If we don’t experience warming over the next 10 years, it doesn’t mean that greenhouse-gas warming is not with us. There can be natural fluctuations that may mask climate change in the short term.

Right, I’ll forward you my bank account number post haste Noel.

Either way, the planet will undergo a decade or so of totally natural and organic cooling, which will make it seem like as if there is no warming trend at all. But rest assured, filthy humans will stop at nothing to destroy the very environment that allows them to live. Especially when there’s a profit to turn.

After all, Death and Destruction are such profitable industries. That’s why Democrats support genocidal policies that keep black people out of the way, like their support for the right to murder 50% of the black population before it’s born.

Democrats also like to round up all the black people and cram them into prisons for petty drug related crimes, where they learn to kill each other even more efficiently upon return to their government funded section 8 housing, and wait for the next food stamp pay day.

Sorry, I got a little nostalgic over the whole Death and Destruction thing. I love destruction.

The Global Warming Multi-Level Marketing pyramid scam is in some – to use the technical term – Deep sh*t. Now the con artists and hucksters want us to ignore the entirely natural cycle of warming and cooling that the Earth undergoes.

Global Warming isn’t even an issue. It’s a religion. The Church of Global Warming, Pope/Nobel Prize winner Al Gore presiding. He couldn’t win an election no matter how they tried to twist the vote counting, so he started a cult.

Just like a few knuckleheaded Christian fundamentalists believe in the solid state theory, Global Warming Cultists think that the Earth is, always has been, and always will be exactly like it is. Just so long as the infestation of Humans don’t screw it up.

Nothing to see here, move along. Sure, I did happen to notice you’re combating global warming with a snow shovel, but that doesn’t mean that global warming isn’t happening. Move along, or you might be burned at the stake as a heretic.

Come to think of it, Global Warming really is man made. In the sense of being entirely contrived and fabricated. Also like a religion.

Humor-Blogs.com will destroy the world. I’ll bring the beer and the conservative political humor.