Political Humor

A Fascist Black Guy, a Radical Jew and a Greasy White Dude walk into the White House… Sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke, and it is. So, what’s the punchline? We get screwed. Told you it was bad.

In case you’ve been a hermit for the last year or so, the joke’s about Obama, Emanuel and Axelrod. As Chris C has observed, it’s not very funny when you have to explain it. Then again, what’s happening to our country isn’t very funny either.

Hey, there’s an upside -as in up your’s and up mine. I’ve been bent over the pork barrel so often that I’ve got splinters from my chin to my shins. There’s a region in between those two areas that’s really complaining, both the front and the back. Which brings me (slowly) to today’s observation. It’s about getting screwed by people who’ll even lie to you about respect in the morning. And here I thought prostitution was illegal in DC. Guess not, since we’re paying these ass clowns very well to pork us.

Speaking of aberrant sex practices, I think I finally understand all the fuss about those gay, lesbian, trans-gender, and other twisted individuals, rights. Personally, I don’t understand the attraction, but then again I’m an evil mongering, racist, bigoted, homophobic terrorist suspect. And even worse, a conservative. Gasp! So what do I know? But I’ve got a handle on the fuss -and it’s attached to a ten foot, one inch pole.

It’s all about gender-bending in Washington, DC. Something happens to people there, and it’s happening below the Beltway. Our elected representatives are afraid that the good folks who sent them to those offices will laugh and call them names, if they don’t enact laws to stop them. Why? It’s simple. Once they get there, they change.

Here’s what I’ve observed: Elected Democrat women turn into dicks and elected Republican men turn into pussies. You’ve seen the results for yourself. Nancy Pelosi is the biggest dick I’ve come across in a long time.

Name for me more than a handful of Republican men in the House, who aren’t ready to drop trow and willingly let Nancy ram home some extremely painful legislation. Can’t, can you? That’s because they’re pussies! At least Barry Frank is honest about liking it. The only time he’s eager to cross the aisle, is when he’s rushing to get in line.

It’s the same in the other chamber. Harry Reid -who secretly is a very ugly woman, with a giant strap-on- runs around shoving it down the throats of almost every Republican in sight. And they don’t even gag. Larry Craig taps out code with his foot for seconds.

Okay, I’ve been beating around the bush long enough. The title ask, How are Democrats and Republicans Different? Here’s the answer: Dems like to screw everybody in sight, and Repubs -male, female and whatever- are eagerly sticking it where the sun don’t shine. So by being submissive -rolling over and exposing their throats and genitals- Republicans still screw us. The bottom line ends up with very little practical difference.

If all this makes you want to gag, join the club. It’s big and getting a lot bigger. Promise, no hazing.

Bonus Feature.

Bonus -as in extra, not the Government Bonus. You know the one. We bend over, they bone us. Fine, it’s an old joke, but it’s still funny.

Thanks to my little brother for the inspiration for this image.

This week’s edition of Political Humor Quick Hits is about Harry Reid, Indiana Jones, new political parody videos, and dumb doll ideas…

Reid Must Be Smoking Some Good Stuff

Last week Harry Reid said the media was to blame for the August health care reform deadline:

Senate Democratic leaders on Thursday blamed Capitol Hill media for setting an August deadline for health reform and Republicans for blocking the bill’s progress.

“That is a deadline that you created,” Reid told a group of about 75 reporters.

Apparently Congress’ health care plan includes prescriptions for medical marijuana. How else does one explain Harry’s short-term memory loss?

Reid even elaborated on his accusation that Barack “Teflon” Obama had nothing to do with the deadline:

“Dude I could really go for some Doritos. Hey man you ever wonder if Jesus is made out of pancakes?”

Puff puff give Reid! Share with the rest of us so we can forget anything Obama says or does too!

If this lapse in memory is not due to the chronic however, there can only be one other explanation: this is Reid’s Three Dog Night moment…

Real Life Indiana Jones

Sometimes truth beats fiction. Well sort of:

Digging for buried treasure in the Gobi Desert sounds like the opening scene of an Indiana Jones film. For Austrian-born Michael Eisenriegler, it was a real-life adventure.

The 40-year-old amateur archaeologist was in the Gobi over the weekend…less than an hour of digging revealed two crates filled with priceless treasure, including rare manuscripts, Buddhist statues and clothing.

Within minutes the Nazis showed up however, and Eidenriegler, Marion, and Short-Round narrowly avoided capture with an escape by plane.

Auto Tune the News Rocks

Look out JibJab, you have some competition and its name is Auto Tune the News. This is their latest video just released Monday about race relations, a broke government, and texting while driving.

I think their recent video, #6 was their best one so far. This is like comparing the episodes of your favorite television show though. All are good.

Moxie Girlz Worst Doll Idea Ever

Mattel introduced their new doll line last week:

MGA is rolling out a new line of dolls called Moxie Girlz as Mattel Inc. plans to take over MGA’s former marquee product, the saucy Bratz dolls, following a four-year legal struggle.

Moxie? Really? Is the best they could come up with? When I think of moxie I think of crappy-tasting soda or the 1920’s, a decade most adults alive do not remember.

MGA explains more about the product line:

This new line of toys will signify today’s young girl. The play sets will include a vaudeville stage, a speakeasy, talkies, and also flagpoles to set world records on. When you pull the string, the dolls say catch-phrases like “Look at the gams on me!, “Oh applesauce!” and “Playing with you is the cat’s meow!”

Looks like the marketing people are frigging mailing it in these days.

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday. You can also read his odd take on things at his own humor blog Angry Seafood and his serious take on politics at Clearly Political.

Political humor and satire by Radioactive Liberty believes that funny picture should be shared.  Please just give us credit. More of Les James’ funny pictures can be found at satire and humor at Sideshow Mirrors.

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