Political Humor

The creator of this fine blog, FIAR is missing. He was last seen publishing The One Trillion Dollar Obama Health Care Plan post and commenting on another post on February 22, 2010.

Since then he has been awol from the blogosphere or whatever the hell you call it these days.

Maybe he got that late night talk show he has always dreamed of?

Or perhaps he went to Hollywood and got cast in a film?

Even Barack Obama is worried.

Why our President is so concerned is beyond me. Maybe Obama secretly likes to read conservative political humor blogs. No matter the reason, it is touching that he would help us by checking under his couch.

He’s a liberal, we’ll give him an A for effort.

And it looks like you’ve found your special bucket. Now can I please get some helping in finding Fiar?

Thanks. You are a big help as always. Did Biden give you that idea?

So where is Fiar? Leave your theories in the comments below.

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Chris Cameron is a writer/columnist/reporter for Radioactive Liberty and also the author of his own blog about everything, Angry Seafood.

Big news everyone.

Not only has the recession ended in Massachusetts, and New Hampshire too apparently, we’ve got a runaway economy on our hands in the Bay State:

Supported by universities and hospitals, and buoyed by a housing rebound, Massachusetts has pulled out of recession ahead of most states and could start to add jobs steadily in coming months, according to a leading economic forecasting firm.

The Boston Globe reported it so it must be true right? (If I didn’t know any better I would swear they sell rose-colored reading glasses to compliment the content.)

(bold emphasis mine)

Moody’s Economy.com of West Chester, Pa., which analyzed employment, production, and housing data, estimates that Massachusetts began a recovery in January, becoming one of 22 states with growing economies. New Hampshire, the only other New England state no longer in recession, began its recovery in December, according to Moody’s Economy.com.

That is odd because the same website describes New Hampshire this way: (bold emphasis mine)

Although conditions are not as dire as those in both the Northeast and the U.S., New Hampshire remains in recession. Losses in employment and output are moderating and the housing correction is winding down.

Now I know how Inigo Montoya felt. They keep using that word “recession”…

The mixed messages do not end there however. According to Moody’s nearly half the country is experiencing economic growth yet the situation for the entire U.S. is more dire.

The glass is half-full with recovery and half-empty with recession at the same time. That’s a nice trick.

And what about the twenty-two states with their supposedly growing economies? Are some of them part of Obama’s 57 states?

They must be invisible economies. That’s it.

All those Stimulus jobs the Democrats promised us were real. We just couldn’t see them.

Obama you minx you.

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Chris Cameron is a writer, columnist, and beat reporter for Radioactive Liberty as well as for his own blog, Angry Seafood.

Yeah, I know, the House is going to vote today to take the next step toward European Socialism, through Obama Care. But I thought we needed a break. Kind of funny though, here it’s Sunday and they seem to have decided not to use the Slaughter “Demon Pass” Solution. That’s what they said. I heard it.

Somewhere in the White House

Obama: Rahm, put some clothes on and bring in the next House Member.

Emanuel: mumble, mumble…bring ‘em in yourself, you lazy little…

Obama: What’d you say!

Emanuel: Ah… I was saying I can’t find my pants.

Obama: I hate it when that happens. Wrap a towel around your tush and get whoever’s next in here. I’m not sure how long these batteries will last.

Emanuel: Okay, you. Go up, kiss the President’s ring and have a seat.

Congressman: Yeah fine, but stop poking me in the chest. Ah, Mr. President, what a pleasure it is for me to kiss your…

Obama: Hey, watch it. Don’t tongue my jewels. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get slobber out of one of these rings? Just, just… go sit on that hassock and face me. Rahm, kill the lights.

Congressman: Whoa, it’s kind of dark in here. Anyway, Mr President I can’t tell how much of an honor it for me to have a chance to speak to you, one on one like this, about jobs. My state’s unemployment…

Obama: What ever. Listen, let me make this clear, right after all the other stuff, my primary focus is on jobs. I have a Laser-like Focus.

Congressman: What’s… What’s that little red light on my jacket? Do…ah. Is ah, ah Rahm Emanuel pointing a..a weapon at me? Mr. President, you KNOW I’m here for you. There’s no need to…

Obama: ♫ Relax.
♫ Scheme those schemes
♫ Got to hit me
♫ Hit me
♫ Hit me with those laser beams

Congressman: Huh?

Obama: This just reminds me of an old 80′s, Frankie goes to Hollywood song. Stop your worrying, no one’s pointing a weapon at you. What you’re seeing is my Laser-like Focus.

Congressman: Oh. Oh…you had me worried there for a minute. Oh! I get it. You mean you have a laser pointer you’re using as an idiom for your focus.

Emanuel: I think you mean, analogy. Kant’s Critique of Judgment succinctly argues…

Congressman: Figures you’d quote a philosopher with your name. I believe you may call it a metaphor, but never…

Emanuel: Metaphor? If anything, it’s closer to an allegory than a …

Obama: Both of you, knock it off! It’s not any of those words, it’s my Laser-like Focus dammit, and don’t forget it. Now Congressman, you need to see the light. Rahm.

Congressman: What are you doing behind me?

Emanuel: I’m just going to hold your eyes open so you can see the truth, Alex. Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.

Congressman: My name’s not Alex… Hey, if you have both hands holding my eyes open, what’s poking me in…

Obama: Rahm.

Emanuel: What? I’ve only got two hands. You can’t expect me to hold the towel too.

Congressman: Ah, Mr. President, please watch were you’re shinning that laser pointer…

Obama: Laser-like Focus! Laser-like Focus!

Congressman: Yes, Mr. President, but please don’t shine it in… OH MY EYES! It burns!

Emanuel: Now you’re going to feel a little prick.

Congressman: I think I already…Ouch! What did you inject me with? I feel…ohooooooo…

Emanuel: I think he’s ready. I’ll turn the lights back on. Now where did I drop that towel?

Obama: To answer you question Congressman, you’ve been drugged and blinded by the light. Man, those 80′s tunes are catchy.

Emanuel: Actually, it was recorded in 1973 by Springsteen…

Obama: Great Freaking Teddy’s Ghost, do you ever shut-up? Holy crap. Where was I? Oh yeah. Congressman, repeat after me. I will vote for anything President Obama wants.

Congressman: I will vote for anything President Obama wants.

Obama: I will support the Democrat Party and ensure my President’s legacy.

Congressman: I will support the Democrat Party and ensure my President’s legacy.

Obama: Rahm. Get him out of here and bring in the next one.

Congressman: Rahm. Get him out of here and bring in the next one.