Political Humor

For those of you who are too young to remember, Readers Digest use to do a series about different parts of “Joe’s” body. It these brief articles, you could get fun facts about various bits of the human anatomy. Things you’ve always wanted to know, but were too afraid to ask. Today, the most famous colon belonging to any Joe that I know, will give us the inside poop. So, Mr. Colon, tell us about yourself.

Thanks Les, but please call me Joe’s colon. Mr. Colon makes me sound too much like a former Secretary of State. Anyway, were should I… um… begin? At the end, I suppose, haha… So, I am Joe’s colon…but… you… already know that. Well…I’m a little nervous, er, what you may not know is… ah, pardon me. SHUT-UP!

Sorry about that… Idiot.  Ah, not you, it’s just my…never mind. Anyhow, okay, as I was trying to say, the colon is a very important… Not again… SHUT-UP! DAMMIT, DON’T YOU EVER CLOSE THAT BIG MOUTH OF YOURS? I’M TRYING TO DO AN INTERVIEW HERE! WHAT? NO, YOU CAN’T TALK TO THEM! I DON’T CARE IF YOU DON’T NEED A TELEPROMPTER! NOW, SHUT-UP!

It’s no wonder I have IBS. NO, I DON’T BS! YOU DO, YOU STUPID… STOP INTERRUPTING ME! FINE, IF YOU MUST KNOW, IT STANDS FOR IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME! NOW ZIP THE LIP, MORON!

I’m so sorry. I’m afraid this just isn’t a good time. Ever since Joe parked his head in here, I haven’t had a moment’s rest. It’s nonstop, “We miscalculated.” “The economy is worse than we thought.” “The economy is roaring back.” “Israel can bomb Iran if it wants to.” ” We have to spend more money to keep from going bankrupt.” “Want a guided tour of the secret bunker?” “My PIN number is 1,2,3,4,5.” “My favorite color’s plaid.” What a dumb ass, and I should know. It’s hard to believe we’re related.

Hey, here’s a thought. Maybe you could interview Joe’s brain. Wow! That a good one… Joe’s brain… CRAP! GIVE YOUR JAW A REST! DON’T MAKE ME GO ALL SPASTIC ON YOU! NOW, SHUT-UP!