Political Humor

So the economy is in the crapper. People are losing their jobs. Huge financial corporations are teetering on collapse. Jewish lightning is cropping up all over the place.

No, I don’t mean the slang term for people burning down their houses for the insurance money, but rather the 1930’s boxer with the same nickname.

What does a little-known boxer have to do with a recession? Absolutely nothing but there have been a lot more house fires lately.

There is no need to do something so drastic however because we have a government which provides many opportunities to get out of that financial hole.

Become an Illegal Alien

Renounce your U.S. citizenship, move to Mexico, then sneak back across the border. As an illegal alien you will have many free services and products available to you that would normally cost thousands of dollars every year. Cervezas for everyone!

You will have to buy a stolen identity for an alias in order to get tax refunds, so there is a slight initial investment.

It is worth it, however when you imagine having free health care, free housing, the ability to walk into any restaurant or hotel and immediately land a job. Have kids? The government will be there for you with not only Medicaid for the children but free college tuition too. If higher education doesn’t pan out, there is always the landscaping industry.

Get a U.S. Government Credit Card

Of course you have to be a federal employee to be eligible for one, but once you get past that obstacle it’s like selling the cattle ranch in the game Life. You can get IPods, laptop computers, digital cameras, all for free.

Charge more than $2500? No problem. Just don’t sign the slip. When your job description is ‘spend money foolishly’ the best way to do that is with a credit card and the accounting prowess of Enron.

Become a Politician

The Clintons entered politics broke and now have hundreds of millions of dollars. There’s oil in them there Capitol Hills! Just don’t go looking for that bell sound. Every time you do somebody comes a knockin’!

Not only is being in politics a lucrative career, but there are some perks and benefits that have intrinsic value as well. For example, when you vote for a bill that authorizes the President to start a war you can berate the military leaders in charge years later to get your ratings and election funding up.

You can get great room service at discount prices at the Mayflower Hotel. You can campaign for bigger bathroom stalls to account for wide stances. There are no limitations with this profession.

So cheer up everyone. There are ways you can avoid tough economic times. And if you can’t there is always another option…

Chris Cameron writes this political humor column every Thursday because making fun of others makes him feel better about himself. He also boosts his self-esteem at his own blog Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com might not have any money-making ideas, but they do have funny blogs.

Filed under political humor.