Political Humor

Hey, Les here. I just rolled out of bed. Today I’ll be covering the “historic” events surrounding the… Ah, what ever. Obama is getting to play President for the next 8 to 10 years and truthfully, I just can’t muster up a lot of enthusiasm about it.

Look, it’s like this, I need to take a dump and then I’ll be back, but before I go here’s some stuff Fiar wanted you to know about today’s activities:

This political humor site will provide extensive and sarcastic coverage of the ceremony to inaugurate Barack Obama as the 44th President of all 58 states of the United States of America. How fitting is it that this day comes on the heels of the observance of Martin Luther King day? Rev. MLK had a dream that people would be judged by the content of their character, not the color of their skin. Barack Obama is a character with no content, and was elected because of the color of his skin. Such sweet irony.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

10:00AM:

While Les may be less than enthusiastic about Obama inauguration time (apparently the most wonderful time of the year), we will still be providing hard hitting coverage, following the entire Inauguration schedule, or how ever much of it we feel like. Which may in fact be very little. So keep checking back for updates throughout the day.

10:15AM:

Well, I’m back.  Now that I’m not full of s#1t, I can cover those who are.

So here’s what I’ve seen so far.  The House of Representatives argued about how they would be marched out to the platform and be seated for the swearing-in.  The whining babies cried about having to go by seniority. I can only assume that the guy who was shouting about going in order of the alphabet, name began with “A”.  Truthfully, I think he was just showing off by pointing out that he knows his ABC’s.

Next, the Obamas showed up at the White House just to be sure that the Bushs had left.  Finding that they hadn’t yet, Michelle handed the First Lady a white box with a bow and told her to give it to any black staff member, working inside.

11:16 AM

A bunch of people are yelling and screaming when Obama comes into view. Other people are getting seated on the platform. I guess they’re important or something.

TV cameras everywhere. Some TV chick sticks a microphone in the face of this guy who lives near the White House and ask him, “What’s it like living close to the first black President?”  He replies, “Well, there goes the neighborhood.” I guess you shouldn’t do live interviews.

Now they’re seating past Presidents.  Damn I’m bored.

11:32 AM

Just heard on the radio that the Secret Service did a body cavity search of former VP Dan Quayle before he was seated. Apparently they were making sure he didn’t have any poto…patoto… things to throw at Obama.

Now it’s starting.

The ceremony begins with Montel Williams urging viewers to get their Barack Obama commemorative coins while demand still lasts. Soon they will be handing them out as Chuck E. Cheese’s tokens due to over supply. This will also soon be the official currency of the USA.

Next up, and endorsement of the Barack Obama Victory plates. Get yours now! After all, you do need a new dog dish. The announcement has been made, one lucky winner will receive a lifetime supply of Obama T-shirts. You can never have too many, but the company that made them does.

Wait! What’s that? Look up in the sky! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s Obama! sweeping in from the clouds on a golden chariot!

11:44 AM

The Chosen One was just introduced as Barack H. Obama. Pussy!

Rick Warren is trying not to bash gays as he leads the invocation.

This just in.  The Secret Service has just arrested a man carrying a bucket. He was in the crowd, holding it above his head. Obama reportedly saw the bucket and, with his natural curiosity to see if it would fit his head, was leaning forward in his seat. Obama had to be physically restrained during the prayer to keep him from rushing through the crowd to try it on.

11:58 AM

Biden swears in. Yawn Now a musical number. Crap, can it get any worse?

12:06 AM

Obama stumbles and totally f**ks up as he recites the oath of office.  He has to have some of it repeated and then forgets to say that he will protect the country from “enemies foreign and domestic,” like his good buddy, Bill Ayers.

The crowd goes wild.

All over the country the moonbats are having an orgasm.  Now the rest of us are going to have to sleep in the wet spot.

12:13 AM

Speech goes on and on and…

After it done, I understand Bill Clinton will do a sax solo.  He’ll be playing Blue Dress Blues. Now that’s entertainment!

I’m out of here for a little while but I understand we will be having a guest.

12:46

Good morning Radioactive Liberty readers. We have a special treat for you. Offering a different point of view on the inauguration we have President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Take it away President Ahmadinejad.

Good afternoon American infidels. Hatred and hellfire be upon you. I hope you are making the enjoyment of the fanciful day that is making the history. Soon Allah’s (peace be upon him) judgment will rain down on you and your flesh will be making the burning and painfulness in the depths of Hell.

The first thing I am of the thinking now that you have your first not completely white president is that I hope you all die! No, that was a joking. What I am really thinking is I miss your leader Bush. He was butting many a funny joke in Tehran. We will now be the needing new materials to make the comedy.

12:57

Look! Your new president is making the helicopter flight. Oooo Ahhhh. What I wouldn’t be giving for a Stinger missile right now.

1:00

I am watching your Tom Brokaw making the covers of the ceremonies. He is making talk of civil rights moving. I noticed he is of saying “we” alot. Like “We still had selma to come.” I am sorry that I was having awareness that Mr. Brokaw did the Selma marchings.

1:05

I am thinking your Diane Feinstein (Peace Be Upon Him) might pass by the out due to the wonderfulness of Obama’s signature.

Something was hitting me earlier. The prayer to your pitiful, inept infidel God was a bit strange:

“When black won’t be asked to get back,
When Brown will be asked to stick around,
When the red man can get ahead man,
When yellow will be mellow,
When white will embrace right…”

I tend to killing those people that do not make agreement with me, but Dayum! That was racist.

1:18

I am of the swearing! You Americans are weaker than than the sphincter of my goat! I cannot help but make the funny laughing everytime I am hearing people like Colon Powell say they cried. It will not be difficult for our righteous caliphate to crush you.

1:27

I am liking the man making the names announced. I am thinking I heard him do the announcing of starting line-ups at a Wizards game.

2:01

Hey, Les back again. Wow! Who let that guy in?

Here’s what’s floating around on the internet:

It seems that Bill Clinton didn’t have the balls to perform sax in public.  Speaking of balls, of the ten official balls tonight, rumor has it that Hillary is going to try keep a couple for herself.

With her husband out of work the last couple of months and money tight after their vacation in Hawaii, Michelle Obama is reported to have asked Sarah Palin for a loan of some of her formal wear for today’s many events.

Palin agreed as long as the new First Lady didn’t let Barney Frank borrow any of the underwear.

On the way out of the swearing-in ceremony, someone mistook the real Obama for an Obama bobble-head and tried to stick him on the dashboard of their Prius.

That’s all for now.

2:24

Les again,

Look, I’ve been patient.  This guy has been in office for over two hours now and I don’t see any of the promised changes.  I just checked my gas tank, still on a quarter. My mortgage hasn’t been paid-off and my bank account still could use a lot more cash.  Obama is a big, fat liar!

Where’s the prosperity? Where are the all those people who use to hate us? How come I haven’t received a phone call from them saying that they love me now? Where’s my new job?  What about the threat of Global climate change? This presidency is a sham!

I trusted him and he’s let me down!

Impeach Obama now! Impeach Obama now! Impeach Obama now!

2:45

If you thought I was kidding when I wrote about all the private jets flying in to party with Obama, word is out that a record 600 private and corporate jets have crowded into Dulles Airport. This more than doubles the 240 that attended the Bush inauguration.

Couple that with the estimated 150 million dollars this whole shindig is costing, and it proves once again that the Dems don’t really give a s#1t what you think. Do you remember the tantrum they threw when Bush had a party costing a mere 60 million.  Where is the outrage now? [goes off in a huff]

3:02

Death to all of you! I am back! It appears your Senator Kennedy has made a falling and can’t be getting up. I am of hope that he is o of the k. He has been a powerful ally in the fight against the Jooos!

3:08

One of persons that make the supplying of information from the New York Times just reported that when your President’s aid told him that your Ted Kennedy had to be made to rush to the hospital, Obama responded, “The hospital, what is it?” His aid made the informing to Obama, “A large building where take of the patients but that is not of the importance right now!” Ha, I kill me…and you too!

3:15

I am hoping you made enjoyment of my comments of hilariousness. I must go now. The Ayatollah needs his diapers of the old person changed. I wish nothing but the death and hellfire upon you all. Die infidels!

3:20

Les here. I think we got that hole fixed where that wacko was getting in.  Anyway,  looks like Chris  C will be joining us soon. I’m going to move out of his way.  See ya in the comments.

3:55

Sorry, one more thing and I’m gone.  Why does everyone think this guy is black?  His father was black and his mother was white.  So he’s only half black. He claims that race because he wants to.  I say he’s white for the same reason.

So he’s just another white, eliltist socialist.  And now I hear “crackers” cause sickness. They’re getting banned all over the country.

4:10

Yup, here I am, Chris C. Can’t let the rest of you have all the fun, especially when we have Steve/George on the brink of crying.

What a crazy day so far. Obama can’t make it through thirty-five words without a screw up. Cheney shows up in a wheelchair. Kennedy has a seizure and goes to the hospital. Byrd appears to also have gotten ill.

Is it me or are fellow pols trying to upstage Obama? You don’t do that to the Messiah people! Come on.

4:40

I’m afraid to go outside. With all the moonbats running around hopped up on the fumes of Obama-mania it looks dangerous out there. I braved it though and managed to get a coffee without any hippies impedding my journey.

Next time I go out, I’m taking my shotgun.

4:55

So it looks like the stock markets have weighed in on the first day of Obama’s rule with a 300+ point drop in the NYSE. Of course that must be Bush’s fault since he was technically President until 11:59am EST.

5:45

Whoops, meant am above not pm.

Anyways, since my fellow pundits here at RL are busy with the television coverage I’m working the online angle.  Here is one of the pictures I found:

That was someone in Seattle crying because a politician got elected President. I like her Liliputian flag.

Then there is this one, of white people happy to be free from oppression:

Michael Savage is right: Liberalism is a mental disorder.

6:17

Les again. Ah, hi. So, not to be left out of the internet image search aspect of this day, I found a couple of gems that show just how diverse this celebration truly is.

6:57

Chris: Hmm looking for that change we were promised. Found some under the couch cushions but I’m not sure that is what Obama meant…oh wait, just got a phone call from one of my sources…

Breaking News: RL has received word that Barack Obama just ate dinner. I am told he had grilled salmon, rice, and broccoli. No conversion of water into wine however.

7:30

Chris: I suppose I should probably turn on the television and see the insanity for myself. Is it really bad yet? Have they started eating the flesh of the non-believers yet?

How soon before it spreads to New England? Where’s my zombie guide…

8:50

Just read over the transcript of the speech and I especially love this line:

“Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions.”

Funny things, alliances. They often change. Just ask Jimmy Carter.

9:13

Obama is dancing at one of the balls and his wife is getting catcalls. There you go 52% of the electorate, your new America.

10:13

Sweet. CNN will be taking us to every Inaugural ball, all ten of them. Three down, seven to go.

While we wait for the next ball appearance (someone keep an eye on Jesse Jackson), I found another picture:

This picture is from Australia and this woman was very excited about Obama’s inauguration. Oh it’s okay to show American flags in public now?

Wow that is awesome because…IT ALWAYS WAS FRIGGING OKAY.

I hear there is plenty of room in the invertebrate species for the moonbats.

10:45

I just watched Obama at the Youth Ball on CNN. Putting the politics aside, he is a pretty cool guy. Not a great dancer but hey, he doesn’t strike me as a guy who likes to tear up the rug.

Nothing wrong with that. I know I need a few hours of an open bar at a wedding reception before I’m ready to make an ass of myself.

On a side note the ads on CNN are targeting people with money which is interesting. Blue collar Dems my ass.

11:15

More fun with pictures from the events today:

Way to squash the notion that Obama will appease other nations or radical groups. Of course conservatives like myself have no basis for this argument.

We are just making this up after all. Duh.

11:35

Okay, think I’m calling it a night. At every ball it is the same Obama speech, same script so I think that is my cue.

It was a lot of fun doing the live thing and a big thank you from all of us at RL to everyone who came by to read and join in on the fun.

This is Chris Cameron and on behalf of my fellow RL writers good night America and good luck.