Political Humor

New Year’s Day bits and pieces

Once you can finally focus today, you may be interested in whats been going on as of late.

In a nut shell

Congress adjourned, the temps in D.C. dropped. Not from decreased CO2, but from the lack of  hot air.

Speaking of Carbon Footprints, Liberals opened thousands and thousands of bottles of bubbly champagne around midnight last night, releasing untold amounts of Earth killing greenhouse gas into the fragile atmosphere.

Why don’t you just put your hands over a baby manatee’s blowhole?

What? Oh, a little poison’s OK, as long as it’s not coming from an evil corporation. Hypocrites.

For you conservatives who celebrated in the same way, good going. You helped stave-off global cooling. Be sure to let your gas guzzling SUV’s warm-up extra long today.

Meanwhile in Afghanistan, Janet Napolitano is on the border with Pakistan. She’s there to give advice on how to secure a border.

And Obama still hasn’t found bin Laden. Where could he be?

In Hawaii, Michelle Obama is getting fatter, while berating us for our extra pounds. It’s been said by the MSM, she’s packing on the weight because of the stress. It’s all right for her to be stressed and stuff her pie hole.

What does she have to be worried about anyway? Losing her new home in two years, that’s what.  Whatever will they do?

What’s the President been up to? Besides being photographed without his shirt, well…

I just flew in from Atlanta, and man my junk is sore

‘If you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested.’” …  This may be the quote of the year. At least, it should be. How do you feel about this? I know when TSA feels about…

Sounds like a lot of folks are going to Say Nope to the Grope, this Thanksgiving Day weekend. Who are the Teabaggers now, TSA?

Eric Massa Update

Today Republican Tom Reed will be sworn in to fill the last six weeks of Eric Massa’s term, and then he’ll begin to serve the Corning NY district for the next two years. But what’s former New York Rep. Eric Massa been doing since he stepped down from that seat last March?

Conservative Humor and Satire by Radioactive Liberty has scooped the rest and knows the answer. Eric I Grope Massa is now working as a TSA Pecker Checker at JFK. Finally he has a picture perfect job he can get in touch with, and he’s tickled pink. It’s a position he can see through to the end. A hands-on vocation that takes balls. A place where he knows the answer to “How’s it hangin’?” …

Homophobic Quote of the Day

(Add hippie punching, masochistic, right-wing whack-job and you can join the team)

AFTA.org, “But what about homosexual TSA agents?” AFTAH President Peter LaBarbera responded. “Isn’t it just as inappropriate for a ‘gay’ male TSA agent to pat down male travelers as it is for a normal, heterosexual male TSA agent to pat down female travelers?

“The reality is, most traveling men would not want Barney Frank to pat them down at the airport security checkpoint,” LaBarbera said. “Neither would it be fair to assign Ellen DeGeneres to pat down female travelers. (In the same vein, the Army should no more force normal male soldiers to shower and bunk with homosexual male soldiers than it would force females soldiers to bunk and shower with their male counterparts.)”

Gender Preference Unknown Pic of the Day

Big Sis says we are just going to have to be patient, TSA groin groping and ta-ta touching is here to stay. Patient? Why? How long will it take?

Misquote of the Day

“I’m wildly excited that I can walk through a machine instead of getting my dose of love pats,” Sen. McCaskill said.

Arrg! They beat me to it

I don’t usually endorse products (unless it’s RL Gear or DemTools) but this is too good to pass up. I’d thought about this -they already did it. Head over to flyingpasties.com to examine their unique product line.

Disclaimer: Radioactive Liberty does not endorse any product, political party, social, or civic organization, news or media outlet, nor does it support the views of its staff or their opinions -unless we want to. And we reserve the right to grope only those we wish.

Today’s installment of Political Humor Quick Hits is about the Sun, the smartest VP inVegas, and the UK travel ban.

Dumbest Thing Ever Said about the Sun

The sun is in a cooling period which has real scientists concerned the warming is over and pseudo-scientists worried their funding will dry up:

“The sun is the least active it’s been in decades and the dimmest in a hundred years. The lull is causing some scientists to recall the Little Ice Age, an unusual cold spell in Europe and North America, which lasted from about 1300 to 1850.”

The AGW people, however are pulling out all the stops to try and hold onto their hack science jobs.

Mike Lockwood, a solar terrestrial physicist at the University of Southampton in the U.K is “engaged in what they call ‘preemptive denial’ of a solar minimum leading to global cooling“:

“Even if the current solar lull is the beginning of a prolonged quiet, the scientists say, the star’s effects on climate will pale in contrast with the influence of human-made greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide (CO2).”

I can’t blame Mike for trying so hard to sell fiction in order to keep his cushy position. It must be difficult to transition from academia into the Dreaded Private Sector, especially when one is only in the denial stage of grief.

Vegas Uses Biden Personality Trait For Promo

Beautiful isn’t it?

UK Travel Ban Reminder of Publicity and the Media

There’s no such thing as bad publicity unless they spell your name wrong. Isn’t that right Mike Guzofsky?

“The (British) government published a blacklist on Tuesday of people recently banned from the country including a Hamas lawmaker and a Jewish extremist, as well as anti-gay protestors and a far-right US talk show host.”

People such as:

“Hamas MP Yunis Al-Astal, Jewish extremist Mike Guzovsky, former Ku Klux Klan leader Stephen Donald Black and neo-Nazi Erich Gliebe are also on the list, as is controversial radio host Michael Alan Weiner, also known as Michael Savage.”

It’s not Guzovsky, it’s Guzofsky.

I’m sure the AP didn’t mean to misspell his name like they didn’t also mean to use the derogatory term “homophobic” in a news story describing preacher Fred Phelps, who is most likely on the list for being anti-Swedish.

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, Britain’s Janet Napolitano explains why she’s putting her pedicured foot down on this issue:

Smith said: “The government opposes extremism in all its forms and I am determined to stop those who want to spread extremism, hatred and violent messages in our communities from coming to our country.”

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his weekly column here every Wednesday and his own style of original funny at his original humor blog Angry Seafood.

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