Political Humor

*Musical Intro*

Welcome to the world premiere of our brand new late night show. I’m your host, Lefty Nutsack. We’ll be bringing you the best Liberal political humor this side of Michael Moore. Which is hear is on the other side of the Milky Way.

And the entire inventory of Dunkin Donuts.

I was going to start with a joke about Sarah Palin’s daughter, but I didn’t want to be accused of stealing David Letterman’s best material. In Dave’s defense, Sarah Palin’s daughters are hot. I don’t care how old you are. *Ba dum bum*

*Crickets chirping*
*Someone coughs*
*Dead Silence*
*Crickets resume chirping*

Now would probably be a great time to introduce you to our band leader. Ladies and Gentleman, please give a warm welcome to Corey Taylor of Slipknot and Stone Sour!

Bush is a homicidal bastard!

*Raucous applause*

Careful Corey. You don’t want to be funnier than the host. *Canned laughter*

So, did you hear the joke about “Them Jews?” A preacher and a rabbi walk into a bar… Oh. You heard that one already.

How about that President Barack Obama, huh? *5 straight minutes of applause* There’s not one single thing you can possibly say to make fun of him or his administration. *5 straight minutes of applause*

No, seriously. If you do you will be put on the DHS watchlist and branded as a right wing extremist.

What do Rosie O’Donell and the Holocaust Museum shooter have in common? A lot more than the Right wing extremists the media is trying to associate him with.

Speaking of Rosie O’Donell, you won’t want to miss tomorrow night where Rosie and Wanda Sykes will hold a bad political joke telethon to see who is the least funny comedienne in America.

In the second half of the show they will mudwrestle each other. I don’t know if fire can melt steel, but we’ve  prove conclusively whether ugly can melt eyeballs.

Tune in or they’ll cancel my show *Ba dum bum*

No seriously.

*Musical outro*

Barack Obama says, “That’s not the Humor-Blogs.com I knew.”

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

“Don’t take your love away from me
Don’t you leave my heart in misery
If you go then I’ll be blue
‘Cause breaking up is hard to do… “
~Neil Sedaka

So Rev. Jeremiah Wright has been dumped by Barack Obama and like a scorned lover, the good Reverend is lashing out. Perhaps he just needs some good advice for dealing with this breakup from Dr. Phil. Wait, Doc TV is friends with Oprah and well, um, never mind.

Everyone is jumping off the Wright bandwagon these days but not me. All others are forsaking you but I will not Mr. Wright. I agree with you. We typical white folks are racist bastards. Why just last week I threw a watermelon at an Asian man. He was really annoyed by the stereotypical way I treated him. He called me a honky and I drove off in my hybrid.

Let me tell you, it is hard to drive and throw a watermelon and try to get away from the scene of a hate crime in an automobile that has the acceleration ability of a turtle while still clutching a gun and a bible. Being a racist is not easy. But that is beside the point.

Since no one else will offer help I will toss my hat into the ring Jeremiah with the Seven Steps to Surviving a Break Up which was probably written by some single mom who finally ran out of box wine. No one else wants to get you over this and back on your feet more then me so let’s get started.

Acceptance

You obviously have accepted you are a radical, crazy racist so use what you learned to deal with the fact the breakup happened and a radical liberal friend thought you were too far left. Hey it happens sometimes in life to all of us. Just ask Hitler or Rachel Carson.

Make a Clean Break

Jeremiah you have to stop talking about Obama all the time. No! No! No! And no late night booty calls either. Friends with benefits looks good on paper but one side always ends up falling back in love.

Focus on Yourself & Improve on Yourself

You have your church. You have your $16 million dollar home in your gated community along with your fancy cars. Now that Obama is out of your life get back to what you do best: using rhetoric to make money. You have some great material so far. Now is the time to take your thinking to the next level.

Learn to Forgive

I’m not sure if you read the Bible but there is lots of stuff in there about forgiveness and turning the other racist cheek. And unlike Jesus you are much tougher. When you carry your cross you will put a banner on it that reads: “Made in U.S.K.K.K” because that is how you roll. But toughness doesn’t mean you should not forgive. What would have happened if Sato hadn’t seen the error of his ways in Karate Kid II? Remember what Miyagi said:

“…for those with no forgiveness in their hearts, living is an even worse punishment than death.”

Move On

If you can’t do this there is always the option of jumping in bed with the Clinton campaign.

Chris Cameron writes this weekly drivel of a column every Thursday here at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his odd and evil humor at his blog Angry Seafood.

Humor-blogs.com is not racist at all and does not discriminate against blogs if they say they are about humor. Even mommie blogs.