Political Humor

What do Sarah Palin, Waterloo, Joe Biden’s big mouth, President Obama’s bus, Valley Girls, Ozzie, abortion, Jimmy Carter, and a host of other references have in common? How the hell should I know? I just wrote this disjointed post.

And All The People Say, “He’s Pretty Fly For A Half-White Guy”

Come-on, we voted the male equivalent of a Valley Girl, or Pauly Shore, into the highest office in the world. For sure, he’s young, good looking, clean and articulate (same as a Valley Girl, not Pauly) so like, what did you expect?

You take away the teleprompter and he turns into Potsie Webber, and Obama Care is going to be his jump the shark moment.  Yeah, I know that was Fonzie. Still, these might yet end up being your’s and my Happy Days.

Really, did anyone actually believe Obama was going to be the answer to any question other than boxers or briefs? And do we really want to know? I’m leaning toward thong. There’s certainly something wedged in there.

He Sliding In To A Burning Ring Of Fire

No way was his Rock Star status going to last. Even sheeple demand a little more substance in their leaders, and a little less of a TV celebrity with stupid ideas. I wonder how Obama feels to be lower in the popularity polls than Jimmy Carter, at this point in his presidency? Once you reach the top of the political ladder there’s only one way to go. We can only hope he goes there quickly. Many have been willing to give Barack implicit, if not explicit, directions to that destination for some time.

Anyone know the melting point of polyester?

And could I be any more cliche?

Yep. Or as Sarah Palin would say, “You betcha”.

You Put Your Left Foot In. You Take Left Your Foot Out.

Just when I thought that Joe Biden was the one who had soggy feet from having them constantly in his mouth, the President begins to swap Wingtips. Here are a couple of his latest.

Senator Jim DeMint, (Republican), “If we’re able to stop Obama on this (Obama Care), it will be his Waterloo”. Obama countered with, “Let me tell you something, I’m from Chicago. I don’t break.” Insert “Huh?” here.

Oh wait, I get it.

Chicago, Hog Butcher for the World. I suppose he’s right in one way, pork doesn’t break. But pigs do, when they’re in the form of a bank, and isn’t that what we’re actually talking about? Insert foot here.

What this comes down to is historical perspective. Waterloo didn’t work out so badly for the Duke of Wellington and Gerhard von Blucher, but Obama jumps right to the conclusion that he’s Napoleon in this scenario. Like we should expect anything else from him. Bonaparte was short in stature, while Obama is short in other areas. Insert your favorite area here.

Just the other day, at a press conference, President Barack Obama (Fascist), said that the Cambridge police “acted stupidly” in arresting Henry Louis Gates, Jr, a good friend of his… oh, and Harvard professor.  The same guy who reportedly told Sgt Crowley (the arresting officer) something like, I’ll talk to yo mama outside. Obama admitted he was flapping his gums before he even knew all of those pesky “facts”. Insert other foot here.

It was matter of the Pres using common sense. Hehehe, that was a joke. When you open your mouth in front of cameras -without first checking the “facts”- you stand to look like a dump ass. Mission accomplished. Insert your favorite pejorative here.

Watching Obama’s daily televised speeches are more fun than midget tossing. The next day he tossed Gates under the bus. It must be getting crowed under there. What with his racist white grandmother, his racist black pastor, everyones favorite terrorist, and a former governor with great hair, all vying for tread time. Insert your favorite moonbat here.

Going Off The Rails On This Crazy Train

In a rare lucid moment, Ozzie will re-release Mr Crowley, from his break-out Blizzard of Oz album. He has written new, updated lyrics. Here’s a taste:

Sgt. Crowley, you got in over your head
(Oh) Sgt. Crowley, Gates will twist what you said
Your life will be turn outside in
By a press corps
That’ll make your words spin
(Yeah) Then wait and see how much more

Recording is scheduled for whenever Ozzie can find his way to the studio.

Doctor, Doctor Please

Dr. Regina Benjamin- the President’s pick for Surgeon General- may not even be able to get health care under the Obama plan. Why? Because she just doesn’t take care of herself like he says she should. I guess you have to take the fat away from dumb in order to be treated by Obama’s doctors. Happy left this party a long time ago.

In related news (that doesn’t involve Michael Jackson -who by the way, is dead) A fantastic new engine has been developed, called the Cyclone. It will be able use any biomass as fuel.  Under Universal Health Care, abortions will get paid for, but treating the elderly won’t. Can you say,*Oilent Green? I thought you could.

See, Joe Biden can be upstaged.

*Oilent Green will be used in all Cyclone engine powered vehicles from Obama Motors, starting in 2011.

This week’s edition of Political Humor Quick Hits is about responsibility, Biden’s economic accumen, and compliments…

Obama Finally Claims Responsibility for the Economy

I guess I was wrong last week. Barack Obama finally said it was his economy to ruin, I mean improve:

During an appearance in Michigan Tuesday, Obama addressed some of the critics on his handling of the economy so far.

“I love these folks who helped get us in this mess and then suddenly say, ‘Well, this is Obama’s economy.’ That’s fine. Give it to me,” he said. “My job is to solve problems, not to stand on the sidelines and carp and gripe. So I welcome the job. I want the responsibility.”

Don’t sing it bring it!

Obama then went on to make fun of the economic downturn ala Snaps style:

“The recession is so short it poses for trophies. I saw someone unemployed kicking a can down the street. I asked what they were doing and they said ‘moving to a shelter’. The recession is so old Muhammad was in the same Gym class”

Joe Biden Spells Out Why Economy Is Not Recovering

Unlike E.F Hutton, when Joe Biden speaks people shouldn’t listen. Good thing his speech was aimed at senior citizens:

Vice President Joe Biden told people attending an AARP town hall meeting that unless the Democrat-supported health care plan becomes law the nation will go bankrupt and that the only way to avoid that fate is for the government to spend more money.

“Now, people when I say that look at me and say, ‘What are you talking about, Joe? You’re telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt?’” Biden said. “The answer is yes, that’s what I’m telling you.”

I have to give kudos to Obama for sending Biden to address old people on the health care bill. Most of the audience either fell asleep halfway through the speech or didn’t hear him because of age-induced hearing loss.

The AARP members’ thoughts also might have drifted to the choices for the Early Bird specials at the local dinner during the presentation.

If the audience did get what Joe was saying they should have been clutching their plastic coin purses harder then ever before while wondering when Kevorkian was showing up.

Biden’s next stop: An education reform speech at the American School for the Deaf.

Umm Waterloo is Not an Insult

I think the Democrats, and Obama in particular are getting punchy lately:

“ President Obama accused Republicans of playing political games with health care reform Monday, taking aim at South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint for suggesting a defeat on health care could be a “Waterloo” moment for Obama.”

Doesn’t anyone remember that “Waterloo” was Abba’s breakout single? Jim DeMint was simply comparing the Messiah to the beginning of the career of Sweden’s biggest export.

Is the Savior forgetting Abba later went on to create “Dancing Queen”, the greatest disco hit ever?

You can’t even compliment our President without getting thrown under the political short bus. Mamma Mia!

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday. You can also read his odd take on things at his own humor blog Angry Seafood.