Political Humor

Saturday afternoon Obama told us he is going to create 3.5 million new jobs. By midnight it was up to 4.1 million.

Obama: “Folks, I have a new plan. Everyone gets a job. Starting Monday, just go down to your local government agency, doesn’t matter which one and apply for a job. Guess what, you are hired.

I don’t know what you will do, but we will figure something out. Maybe you can replace old lightbulbs with new, mercury-filled ones, or tear down coal plants. This is a new economy and we need new solutions.

Ask not what you can do for your country ask what your country can do for you.”

Is this guy the Messiah or what? Quick someone get him a leper to cure or water to turn into wine.

But wait folks, there’s more!

You know how those charities claim to be able to feed children in third world countries for just the price of a cup of coffee? Well, Our Lord has a similar plan. He’s lopping off $500 of your payroll taxes, giving you approximately $1.37 extra in your paycheck every day. Every day!

I know, I was amazed too when I found out about this new-found wealth. What will I do with that extra nine bucks and change a week? Where will I invest it? How the hell is anyone buying this bulls#1t Obama is feeding us?

For just the price of a cup of java you can feed a child…your own.

Oh yeah, just ignore John Kennedy’s body rolling over in his grave while Obama blows out his eternal flame. It’s better that way.

Chris Cameron writes a weekly column here every Thursday and also has his own humor blog Angry Seafood.