Political Humor

There is always mudslinging going on, some of it fun political humor, like when Obama is made fun of for saying there are 57 states. Some is disparaging like made-up stories about Sarah Palin pretending her grandchild is actually immediate family. We had no idea the venom the Liberals were capable of spewing until a woman that wasn’t a Democrat ran for Vice President.

It was like the left side of the blogsphere had their meds wear off at the same time, the free Wifi network at Starbucks shuddering under the intense strain of all those liberal moonbats rushing to make sh*t up on the internet. They made Chevy Chase’s behavior at the DNC look subdued and conservative.

But man can those Democrats sling the mud. I can see Andrew Jackson and John Adams wiping tears from their eyes in Heaven, or Hell I guess depending on your viewpoint.

Those two, by the way were the forefathers of the modern day mudslinger. In the Election of 1828, Jackson’s wife was called a ‘dirty black wench‘, his mom a prostitute, and his father a mulatto, apparently by one of Keith Olberman’s ancestors.

Adams was attacked for being rich as well as traveling on Sundays, and having premarital sex with his wife. At least this John didn’t have a love child with a video producer, right Mr. Edwards?

Speaking of South Carolina, John McCain was the victim of some nasty mudslinging in that state’s 2000 Primary when his supporters were called by push-pollers and asked if they would support him if they knew he had an illegitimate black child. Forget mud, someone backed up a concrete mixing truck and unloaded it for crying out loud.

When you get bitch-slapped that hard it is no wonder you vote with Bush 90% of the time. That’s mudslinging for you.

The best is when the candidates themselves do the dirty work. This was the famous ‘Daisy Girl’ ad for Lyndon Johnson’s campaign in 1964:

(Video Link)

With the production values of a crappy YouTube video, it doesn’t seem scary to people today but this ad freaked people out so much it was only run once. Guess who won the election?

The topper was of course Lyndon Johnson’s voice-over. He didn’t use a specialist like the now-departed expert Don LaFontaine. Imagine Barack Obama doing this? The guy needs a teleprompter in the bathroom for crying out loud.

Whoops did I just mudsling?

Chris Cameron writes this weekly political drivel every Thursday for Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his other attempts at being funny on his own humor blog, Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com is the home for funny blogs and pigs with lipstick. Just have a few drinks before you click there and it will look a lot better.

 Today’s John McCain’s 72nd birthday and man did he get a present or what? You’ve got to give it to him, if you’re going to pick a running mate, pick one you’d like to mate with.  Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin is the former Miss Wasilla and damn if she isn’t a great looking woman.

Did that sound sexist? Yeah it does, but why else did he choose her? Hillary proved you could run successfully for the Presidency as a woman, but ugly just doesn’t cut it. Pantsuits and saggy, well…, that’s not what the American people want to look at during a presidential race.

We can visually see the difference between the Democrats and the Republicans.  Liberal women are homley, sad creatures, like Rosie. While Republicans have a long history of attracting tight bodies with brains. Now add to the list, which includes the center-fold worthy Ann Coulter and Laura Ingram, Sarah Palin.

Take Obama. Please. Just kidding. No not really. But still you’ve got to admit, he’s a good looking guy, and according to his running mate Joe Biden and ex-Pres. Jimmy Carter he’s also a clean, articulate black boy. Wow, those guys are just full of, ah…complements aren’t they. Still, Obama presents a great image, no substance, but a great image.

What do we know about Sarah Palin? Nothing really, other than she’s a hottie and apparently in politics that’s all you need. So I say, nice job John McCain and I want to see more of Sarah Palin. A lot more, if you know what I mean. 

You can see more of Les James’ brand of satire and humor at his place, Sideshow Mirrors.

Check out the Sarah Palin Speech Video.

McCain: (singing softly to himself)

Bomb, bomb, bomb
Bomb, bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb, bomb
Bomb, bomb Iran

Army General: Mr. President, sir? We should be heading over to the War Room. It’s time for the Joint Chiefs of Staff to give you your initial briefing, sir.

McCain: Yeah, great. Hey General, do you ever get a song stuck in your head. You know, one that makes it all but impossible to concentrate on anything else?

Army General: Yes sir. Sometimes I get that tune from “it’s a small world” going around in my head until I want to pull out my 9 mil. By the way sir, do you have an agenda you’d like to discuss today.

McCain: (still singing softly to himself)

Let’s bomb Iran
I know we can
That evil land
Let’s bomb Iran

Army General: I’m sorry sir, did you say, “bomb Iran”?

McCain: Yeah. Can’t get it out of my head. Bomb Iran. Oh, here we are. Let’s get this briefing started. I’m anxious to hear what you guys have to say.

Army General: Gentlemen, the President of the United States.

McCain: Thank you, please be seated.

Army General: Before we begin the briefing, the President has informed me that he wishes to bomb Iran.

Marine Corps General: Hooyah, sir. We’re right there with you on this one.

Navy Admiral: Sir, with all due respect, we can’t just go and start bombing another country.

Army General: I beg to differ. We have the ability. All we’ve got to do is…

McCain: (singing a little louder)

Just got to lock it
and to load it
Drop it
and explode it
Bomb Iran

Air Force General: The President’s right. All we have to do is up-load the B2s and off we go. So, sir is this what you are asking us to do?

McCain: (completely obvious, singing at a full volume)

Bomb, bomb, bomb
Bomb, bomb Iran
Bomb, bomb, bomb
Bomb, bomb Iran

Air Force General: Sir, then there is question of ordinance, targets and timing. 

McCain: (grabs a waterbottle from the table, uses it as a microphone)

Fly to Tehran
Drop an H bomb
Take out Mahmoud
‘Cause I’m in the mood

Let’s bomb Iran
As soon as we can
Show ‘em where we stand
Let’s bomb Iran

Joint Chiefs of Staff join in as backing vocals:

Just got to lock it
and to load it
Drop it
and explode it
Bomb Iran

Bomb, bomb, bomb,
Bomb, bomb Iran…

This song parody brought to you by Radioactive Liberty and Humor-Blogs.com